h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Jesus Christ! You weren't supposed to answer that quick! Now I have to buy you a drink! Just showing off because I know this but he didn't misquote, he used to say quoth but no-one understood and they made him change it! Anyway well done!

*While sitting in the building with Kurt Cobain, Saturn Girl sits for a while, thinking about how she'll really get Raven this time, managing to shut the noise out. Pretty soon though she gets annoyed, and steals the acoustic guitar from Kurt, and starts practicing her half assed attempts at cords on the guitar. Since it's been over a year since she'd picked up her Guitar, she's struggling very bad, and driving Kurt insane. He digs out a secret stash of drugs, and ODs again.*

*As Saturn Girl goes to leave the building, and find out what Raven's up to now, she suddenly finds herself in a lush jungle tied to a tree. With an annoyed sigh, she waits to see what Raven's up to this time. Growing bored as he does nothing, she breaks free, and splits the jungle. She accidentally stumbles across William Shatner, and an idea pops into her head. She hands Shatner a large chunk of cash, and whispers in his ear what she needs him to do. He walks over to the jungle, and starts to sing Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds. Saturn Girl had already plugged up her ears, so not to be subject to the lack of talent Shatner was releasing from his vocal cords.*

*At the sounding of the first off key note, the jungle starts to droop. Before Shatner even finishes the first verse, the jungle is a rotting heap on compost. Before even dealing with Raven, Saturn Girl quickly rounds up all the creatures of the jungle, and relocates them to one way out to harms way from the battle of the gods, saving her two friends/pets from their evil dominating mates. Shatner continues to serenade Raven, curdling every last drop of his immortal blood. This causes Raven to try to start begging Shatner to stop, but because of his ego, he thinks Raven's begging him to song more, so he launches into another song. This one a rap of the Shakespeare play Julius Caesar, as seen in the movie Free Enterprise. Saturn Girl decides that Shatner will torture Raven enough for now, and she doesn't have the heart to do anymore to him, so she walks off with her lizard and frog on her shoulder.*

Your's Truely,
The Bombshell Goddess

ps. Okay, so you quoted what you intended to quote correctly. But just because whoever it was had to misquote to be able to cater to the lowest common denominator, doesn't mean you have to follow his lead. Either quote the real thing, or please, leave it out of this thread, it's an insult to Poe.

*While sitting in the building with Kurt Cobain, Saturn Girl sits for a while, thinking about how she'll really get Raven this time, managing to shut the noise out. Pretty soon though she gets annoyed, and steals the acoustic guitar from Kurt, and starts practicing her half assed attempts at cords on the guitar. Since it's been over a year since she'd picked up her Guitar, she's struggling very bad, and driving Kurt insane. He digs out a secret stash of drugs, and ODs again.*

*As Saturn Girl goes to leave the building, and find out what Raven's up to now, she suddenly finds herself in a lush jungle tied to a tree. With an annoyed sigh, she waits to see what Raven's up to this time. Growing bored as he does nothing, she breaks free, and splits the jungle. She accidentally stumbles across William Shatner, and an idea pops into her head. She hands Shatner a large chunk of cash, and whispers in his ear what she needs him to do. He walks over to the jungle, and starts to sing Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds. Saturn Girl had already plugged up her ears, so not to be subject to the lack of talent Shatner was releasing from his vocal cords.*

*At the sounding of the first off key note, the jungle starts to droop. Before Shatner even finishes the first verse, the jungle is a rotting heap on compost. Before even dealing with Raven, Saturn Girl quickly rounds up all the creatures of the jungle, and relocates them to one way out to harms way from the battle of the gods, saving her two friends/pets from their evil dominating mates. Shatner continues to serenade Raven, curdling every last drop of his immortal blood. This causes Raven to try to start begging Shatner to stop, but because of his ego, he thinks Raven's begging him to song more, so he launches into another song. This one a rap of the Shakespeare play Julius Caesar, as seen in the movie Free Enterprise. Saturn Girl decides that Shatner will torture Raven enough for now, and she doesn't have the heart to do anymore to him, so she walks off with her lizard and frog on her shoulder.*

Your's Truely,
The Bombshell Goddess

ps. Okay, so you quoted what you intended to quote correctly. But just because whoever it was had to misquote to be able to cater to the lowest common denominator, doesn't mean you have to follow his lead. Either quote the real thing, or please, leave it out of this thread, it's an insult to Poe.

eeep! Stupid browser! Excuse the double post.

The Bombshell

*Raven is really annoyed at Shatner now so he decides to count his change and oh no! He's killed him with a 2p coin!*

Ur good at this aren't you?

*Raven uses some saved up magic from the concert to build a wall of trees around Saturn Girl and Himself*

Nice 1!

*Raven pulls his hand out of his back pocket and...

... offers it to Saturn Girl to shake.*

Draw?

*Raven waits for a reply.*

Raven

P.S. It really doesn't matter, I was just quoting Raven because it's my name.

Hmmm... *Saturn Girl thinks a moment* There's really nothing in the rules about calling a draw. I'm okay with it if you are though, but I think we should get an offical ruling from Mother of God. I'll go post a request for her royal oppinion on the matter straight away. As long as my record isn't dinged with a loss, I'm happy, I guess. Besides, I've been wanting to kick Red Fish's *ss for a while now. He's been getting on my nerves. Hmm... Here's an idea... after we sort out the results of our battle, do you want to team up, and kick beat Apollo, and Red Fish? I think we'd make a deadly team, what do you think?

Your's Truely,
The Bombshell Goddess

ps. Where are you?

*FOOP*

*MoG appears sans tiara and feather boa, as this battle seems to have been handled informally and degenerated with a mish-mash of mundane commentary sprinkled throughout.*

I think this battle should be declared moot, rather than a draw. Nobody get any experience points from engaging in this one, though there IS a price to be paid here. Court fees, ya know. And I'll assume that the experience has been personally enriching, at least in the sense that you both come away from it with the understanding that formal battles are disrupted by too many side comments and out-of-context references to *shudder* REAL LIFE.

Now.... the price..... hmmmmmm....

Well, my poor feather boa was so abused in the Labyrinth that it's time for a new one. Raven, I guess you'll have to donate your plumage to the cause.

*suddenly Raven is plucked by a thousand invisible angelic hands, leaving him shivering in the breeze. MoG hands him a bottle of Rogaine and a towel*

Don't worry, they'll grow back, in time. And you'll be so sweet and fluffy for a while, like a spring , while they do.

And since I'm always looking for a fresh tiara to add to my wardrobe...

*removes Saturn Girl's rings and tries them on for size*

Perfect! hehehe They look kinda like a halo, don't they? How fitting! You'll collect more in the next asteriod shower, I'm sure.

*cha cha's off, happily attired with her newly earned accessories*

*POOF*

*Looking for a fight*

*A mysterious figure appears...*
I'll fight you. My name is I'm still thinking.
*IST draws his sword...*

*The Sun God appears, seated on a throne in the temple*

Well, let's see what you two rookies have got

*Saturn Girl waves her hand, and her better thrown appears next to Golden Thigh's... she pulls out popcorn, and settles in to watch the oncoming battle*

*raises the earth around IST's feet to form an encasing cylinder of baked mud*

I could do with some time to think myself, and in the meantime you can sit in there, my dear opponent.

*IST raises his left hand and snaps his fingers, completely disintegrating the wall of baked mud.*
You're going to have to try harder than that to stop me, but if you want to plan, go ahead. I will not attack you until you're done planing.
*IST puts his sword in his scabberd.*

*yawns and nudges Apollo* Kids today.... WE didn't have to take time to plan... Should we nudge 'em along?

I am just being honorable.

Why certainly, my dear



*Ist's sword flies out of its scabbard, and begins to swoop through the air at both combatants*

*Saturn Girl smiles, and tosses a couple of flying cans of whipped cream into the mix*

*Adds strawberries and a couple of egg-whites*

Should be nice when its done.

*Brings one of the temple pillars crashing down between herself and IST, and arms herself with the nearest available thing...*

*...a potted plant*

*The sword stops attacking IST, he grabs it.*
The sword is tied in with my soul so it cannot be controled for long.
*IST blasts the toppings.*
Now, a sword vs. a potted plant. This is amuseing, but not fair, so I will fight with a pillow.
*IST puts the sword in it's scabberd, and gets a pillow.*
Have at you!
*IST lunges at Sammy, swinging the pillow.*

*Parries with the plant*

*attempts to persuade the tiles beneath IST's feet to turn to blancmange*