h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

...pulled out his sub machine gun, and promptly took Wendy hostage. This confused many people, who knew knew Wendy was of no relation to the Burger King... unless you counted her afair with his son which resulted in Jack. Everyone quickly ate their McDonalds French fries and...

*is too confused to post constructively but bookmarks anyhoo*

You and me both, sister.

...departed the premises as quickly as possible, clutching their h2g2 happy meal figurines in hand.

Suddenly Wendy broke free, and called after them "Wait for me! I'm coming with you!"

Terrified, the little group looked at each other and said....

... "Wasn't there a way to make these figurines become big and eat the fries for us written in the manual?... Maybe Wendy'd'know!" Which made them decide to stop and wait for Wendy as she had just recently requested; to which she exclaimed: "Thank goodness for my elbows thank good nes for my elbows they very nearly...

Where theis Betty?
"I don't know" said one person, "but I know the French are pretty p*****d about something."
"Sapristi!" yelled one of the angry French
"Every time we come to ziz McPlace we get fried."

Just then Betty appeared looking as fresh as ever.
"Hello dearies" she smiled "come back to the Blue Onion with me."
"YAY!!!" shouted everyone until everything went black and looking up they saw....

Not quite a simulpost, but you both answered the same one....


Ok, next person combine the two or answer which ever one they want.

<<"YAY!!!" shouted everyone until everything went black and looking up they saw....>>

...the entire cast of "Les Miz" in a large hot air
balloon, dropping politically incendiary pamphlets
on their heads.

Without a word, they all turned and ran back to Count
Rudolph's castle, taking care to dodge the trenches
along the Somme, the fierce fighting at Verdun, and
some horrid Presidential debates.

Count Rudolph welcomed them with a grand feast, though
the main course tasted suspiciously like...

....McDonalds fries. Looking down at their hands, they noticed that they were still clutching their h2g2 happy meal figurines.

Thinking it was all a dream, they got terrified looks on their faces and screamed...

...bejesus! Where are me lucky charms?!?!?!?!......

...silently as the Cast of "Les Miz" ran into the castle in pursuit of The MacDonald Fries shouting :" À bas le McDonald Impérialiste!!!"

Fortunately, the figurines finally grew big and did their job ing the Cast Away back into their balloon and pamphlets, however, unfortunately...

...Jean Valjean was not among them, having
gone down into the castle's dungeon area
and gotten grafted to the monster that Igor
and the Count were assembling.

At last, the monster was finished. He was composed
of three torsos laid end on end, with six arms
(two of them black, and one with a pirate's hook instead
of a hand), 5 legs, and...

...a dozen bums. It was unclear whether they actually thought he needed so many, or whether they were just on sale somewhere. Nevertheless, when they threw the switch and electricity poured into the monster's electrodes, the monster promptly sat up and...

Began singing I'm a little teapot short and stout!

"That reminds me... Would anyone care for a cuppa ?" said Betty.

You bet said Count Rudolph who was...

... diligently watching a repeat of "Dukes of Hazard" and rewinding the parts where Daisy Duke appeared, daydreaming about Betty in such attire. Betty, making it to the kitchen to make some tea, took a wrong turn and ended up in the Scott kitchen where...

.... the dishwasher *still* had not been found. She promptly went to the proper spot on the wall of cabinets and pointed it out to the entire Scott clan, then left.

On her way back to Count Rudolph's castle she met...

...a little girl in a red hood, who was taking
a basket of goodies to her grandma's house.

When Betty reached the Count's castle, she found
a huge pot of tea that a kind genie had placed there
so she wouldn't have to make it herself.

"Now all we need are some cucumber sandwiches,"
Betty said, hoping the genie was still listening,
"plus a tray of..."

...crumpets and cookies"

She looked around to see if such a tray would somehow magically appear.


After waiting 20 years, by which time the tea had dried up in the pot, she decided that the tray of goodies was not going to appear, so she....

...ran off to Monte Carlo with a cute playboy who *thought*
she was rich.

By the time she found out he was as poor as she, they were
already in a casino, where she realized that her mother's
recipe for pecan cookies would give her a very lucrative
product in this cookie-eating environment.

"Betty's Pecan Cookies" was a big success, making her very
so rich, so rich she decided to buy Count Rudolph's castle
and turn it into...

... a theme park, which she named Count Rudolph's castle, of all things.

The people came from miles around just to ride the many rides she had built especially for the amusement park.

There was the Pickle Barrel Whirl, the Twilight Zone Hall of Mirrors, and ...