h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Several people have been wondering about little bits of conversations in various threads so I thought I should fess up as to what has been going on with me.

Back near the beginning of the year I embarked on a medical odyssey of sorts. Test after funky test and countless forced donations of blood later I was finally given a biopsy which gave indeterminate results. At least the doctor admitted she didn't know what she'd do if someone wanted to stick needles in her throat.

On June 3rd I had what would turn out to be the first of a series of surgeries. They removed a lump in my thyroid to do a more in depth biopsy which unfortunately came back not in my favor. On June 8th I went in for another surgery and the rest of my thyroid was removed along with some lymph nodes.

After recovering for a few weeks I went on a special diet designed specifically to make me feel y then went in for I131 therapy. They tell you to drink lots of liquids to keep the radioactive stuff from settling in your kidneys and suck sour candies to keep it from settling in your salivary glands. Got it – get nuked, tinkle and . I never want to see another Jolly Rancher as long as I live.

About 10 days after the treatment they did a cancer scan to see if anything else showed up, which unfortunately it did. This past Friday, August 6th, I went in for what they call a "modified radical neck dissection" to remove several lymph nodes along the left side of my neck.

I still have a shunt at the base of my throat that will be removed in a few days. The problem here is that this tube runs from a bandage at the base of my throat to a simple type of negative air flow pump that well.. the only place to put it was to stuff it into my bra. It looks like I’m trying to keep my chest inflated.

I’m thinking 3 surgeries in as many months should get me a bulk discount. Or at the very least a few free "upgrades". Apparently my surgeon disagreed because everything I would have liked to have upgraded is just as it was before I went to sleep.

Anyway the prognosis is very good. The type of cancer I have has a very high cure rate (over 90%) and I'm basically healthy other than having cancer that is. This hopefully final surgery should have taken care of the last of that stuff in my body. So – we apologize for the inconvenience and let the party resume!

Perhaps the surgeon's idea of an "upgrade" was the negative air flow pump stuffed in your bra. Are you sure you made it clear you wanted it to be a *permanent* upgrade?

Inflated breasts, Batty? Would you not like them? If not, why not?

So thats where you have hiding then Batty?
In hospital Eh! and wots all this about inflated breasts? was that a freebie that the NHS threw in

Actually Ive just got back in after taking MK2 back into hospital? her lungs are full again which is weird coz she was nagging me fine yesterday

Anyway you take care, and leave them male nurses alone
Smudger,

Actually Lady Scott I hadn't thought of that. I'll have to bring it up with her when they remove the pump this week.

Paulie not to be blunt but you've seen my breasts (though under sweater) - do I really need more??? Those girls are rambunctious enough without help.

Smudger my dear thank you. Actually the male nurse during my last visit, Frank, looked more like a bouncer at a pub than a nurse. Big guy! Very nice though - he wheeled me out himself rather than waiting for 'transportation' to arrive with a chair.

I'm glad to hear you're doing better, and hope you enjoy your inflatable breasts while you still have them!

hehehe.. thanks Shea.. if there's a flood I have a built in flotation device..

Pan!!! It's good to see you on here!

Truly a day to celebrate! Pandora is back!! Yay!!!

Oh there's lots to celebrate - Batty is recuperating, and Pan is back!

And the Olympics are on! YAY!!!

...yep...priorties...



glad you're on the mend batty!i'd best batten down the men!

I didn't know that men-battening was an Olympic event.

Are you kidding?!

Pan's been in training for this event her whole life!

glad ya' noticed

I don't think she means any harm, Paul...

harm isn't necessarily the word I'd use.. though there might be a few resulting aches and pains but if the bathroom wall is correct they're worth it...