h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Lamas use commas
while eating toast, then become
comatose lamas.

Next topics: Ice, rice, and splice

The Doctor will splice
The white mice with some white rice
And serve them on ice

Next: A Haiku Critique of a Limerick:

"Quel est votre vice de choix?"

The above line is flauntingly wrong,
Though would make a good start to a song:
About love, drugs, and peace,
And tickling the police
With a feather strapped onto a bong.

Rhythm flowing well,
Rhyme leaves much to be desired,
Depth of thought chilling.


nt: Elvis, elves, mojo

Elvis Presley is
not Mr. Mojo Risin'!
Nor was he an elf.

Next: The Doors, The Beatles and your choice of a third band.

Sadly, the Beatles
Opened The Doors for cheap
Spin offs oasis.

nt: bermuda triangle, second hand boat emporiums, suspsicion

I am suspicious
Of second hand boat rentals
With bermuda shapes

Next: The Thing That Ate London vs Martha Stewart

Monster eats Martha
She then weaves pretty basket
from small intestine

next: Mt Kilimanjaro(spelling?), Kevin Bacon, ninjas

Kevin Bacon found
On Mt Kilimanjaro
His link to Ninjas

Next: Kevin Bacon, George W Bush, poultry

Kevin Bacon said
Many stupid Bushisms
At the chicken farm.

Next: self-burial, detention and sewing.

Self berrial beats
Detention blues but
sewing up body bag hurts

its been months since I've done "one of these" next::

handbag, warhead, faulse teeth

Macgyver could turn
a handbag and some false teeth
into a warhead

gorillas, milkshakes, Taco Bell

Gorillas can get
Wendy's banana milkshakes
But not Taco Bell's

Next: The story behind Taco Bell

In the near future
all restaurants will be called
Taco Bell, it's true
(won't be as funny if you have never seen the Sylvester Stallone movie "Demolition Man")

next: hot air balloon races

(seen the movie; Denis Leary was in it)

High fly gasious lights
Of winward directions pass
Silently by me

Next: Comedy, pudding, fences

Sitting on the fence
Eating pudding day and night
Really is funny

Uh... how about... fish, bicycle and traffic lights.

traffic lights are good
they keep cyclists from running
over helpless fish

bananas, tiger sharks, homeopathic medicine

traffic lights are good
they keep cyclists from running
over helpless fish

bananas, tiger sharks, homeopathic medicine

Tiger sharks taken
daily in small doses: good
cure for bananas.

NT: Aniseed balls, a cat and a fax machine (these being the items on my desk right now!)

Faxer and Felix
And meditational balls
On my desk right now

Next: Frivolity, Polynesia, Sculpture

Bob was frivolous
With his sculpture of Annette,
Polynesian girl

Okay: Scorpians, kings and rocks. (See if you can guess why)