h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*sniffs the air....doesn't like what he smells.*

I think some trouble's about to start

*the bar doors burst open and a squad of security types carrying purple sticks flood in. The wait-thing points excitedly at the bfg's*

....hey...anyone know where I left my boomstick?

*prepares a Pink Fuzzy for Thog, as it made hair grow last time*

Oh, bugger. And me with only one assault rifle and seventy thousand rounds of ammo.

*quickly drinks a few more so he has plenty of empties as ammo.

And a few hundred hand grenades.

And a Walther P99.

And that emergency flamethrower that uses dandelion and burdock as fuel.

:: starts throwing

at the attacking ::

*keeps drinking, as he doesn't seem to be needed yet*

*watches the fun beside Linus*

:: after the avalanche has buried the attackers pulls a few pints, finds bags of salted peanuts and starts to prepare himself for a little time travel ::

you'd better join me - unless you want to feel like in a few hours...

:: tosses bags of peanuts at Linus and WB and hands them a broad variety of and ::

breakfast time already?

right. time to leap through an artificial wormhole to a place with a little more action. you ready guys?

:: the wormhole opens and starts to suck the BFG's through time and space. little do they know that the other end of the wormhole is located in a large hall on the planet hades, where the local parlament is in session... ::

LURKER ALERT!!!




I hope someone's going to rescue that lonely little

:: after this statement the lurker is immediately voted chairman of the commitee for the preservation of ::

? ?? What ????

::is left sitting forlornly (and with bald loincloth, no less) at the bar, staring quietly at the smoking mound of ex-attackers::

Well,



OK, I know I'm a little late to get in on the big gun toast, but it...

HERE'S TO BIG GUNS!

*quaff*

*quaff*

*quaff*





Welll......



::for lack of anything else to do, pulls out his set of triple-chromium plated nailguns and starts polishing them lovingly::

i hate politicians

It's a beaurocratic nightmare!

well, then let us give them the vote by show of BFG's



:: the combined forces of BFG's create havock & mayhem in the legislature of planet hades ::

look out! here come their security forces!

::casually finishes polishing his nailguns and then rises, smacks another 15,000 round clip into place on each of them, and stands waiting.::