h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*heads into the kitchen, strikes the Maitre-D with a heavy lead spoon, drags him into the pantry*

*emerges wearing black tux*

What will I have to drink? decisions, decisions.

*grabs the wait-creature by the...er.....tentacle? and twists*

O.K., slimeball. I'll have my usual. A pitcher of Bushmills with sawdust sprinled on top, and A DIRTY GLASS THIS TIME!....and a shot of grape juice (don't look at me like that , a bear needs his vitamins)....get it right or there will be trouble.

*Releases the wait-thing*

Kuma, am I in the right mind to believe that if he gets the order right, there will also be trouble, no?

*smacks tux as pompus maiter-D vibes are affecting my speech*

Hmmm... trouble is good.

Nice tux Mr C.

:: understands that on top of keeping a sound distance from the bears rear he now also has to avoid contact with linus - in order not to catch his 'cambodian diarrhoea' ::

we'd better take a little disinfectant, peeps - purely for medical reasons of course

:: lines up ::



(isn't it a pity gwennie isn't here to comment on this? )

I didn't catch any diseases in Cambodia (that i know of) thank you very much

Are you taking the as IV or enema?

thank you very much, linus. very reassuring!

IV or enema, mr. c? why i never!

You say, but you never do. You're like my wife; wooden leg and eyepatch and all. Which explains why I'm out here with you and not home.

::wanders in from the general direction of the manager's office and, holstering his gently smoking mini-flambee'er, takes a seat next to mari-rae::

MARI!!!!! How positively delightful to see you again! Don't mind me while I steal your drink -- haven't had one in about fifty billion light years, y'know


*GULP*

*Beeeeeeeeeeeeelllllllllllllllllllllch*
Yowza... thassa good in batch o' Drano, there, Mr. C!
*ahem* I think I might stick with for a bit...

*QUAFF*

So.... how's the New Year being for ever'one?
*QUAFF*

When do we shoot stuff?
*QUAFF*

And where's Gwennie?

Fair to middling, soon enough and don't know

Now Linus sounds like the TV weather forecaster! What's happening here? And where did my glass go?

Thog! That was my prescription of insta-depilatory lotion! Hrummpf! Now what am I supposed to do??

You could always apply some of the "Today's Special" cocktail that the bar-thing has been mixing ... it smells as if it would have the same effect.

I'm more worried about what Thog is going to do after imbibing your lotion .... he might go bald from the inside out!

:: off to find a dik-shun-airee::


::returns a moment later thumbing through an upside-down copy of Ayn Rand's "Atlas Shrugged" which::

Okay... lessee... what did you say that was, mari?? Insta-depilatory? Okay... lessee... I'm sure I can find it in here somewhere...

::sits back down and quaffs another while searching::

:: off to find a dik-shun-airee::


::returns a moment later thumbing through an upside-down copy of Ayn Rand's "Atlas Shrugged"::

Okay... lessee... what did you say that was, mari?? Insta-depilatory? Okay... lessee... I'm sure I can find it in here somewhere...

::sits back down and quaffs another while searching::

Just make sure that Kuma doesn't get hold of any of that stuff Mari! The thought of a bald bear is positively frightening - and Wowbagger would have to provide a new snapshot for us!

*Sits back to see what may happen to Thog*



shazz

::glances down just in time to see all the leopard fur fall off his loincloth::



Well, I'll be ed... who woulda thunk it?



So... er... whensh the party gonna geshtarted?

Yep. The bender was about two years, but I only remember about two months of it. Obviously I wasn't drinking enough.

Whoo, that episode with the brewery and the storming of same was fun, though. Plus I got this neat extradimensional backpack.

*reaches in and extracts an ornate wineglass with a large and evil-looking drink in*

To big guns.

*quaffs*

Mmm. Good stuff.