h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

?indeed jester A. qualifications your be What?

*thinks a while before managing to understand what the weird visitor says*

language that don't speak i. sorry. again question that ask please you could?

What be your qualifications, mr muddle?

My King, do we have any babelfish nearby?

anything do to qualified not am i. any need i do?

*tosses a few Babelfish into the room*

Thank you Dan.....
I don't think any specific qualifications are generally required......

jester a not if, translator a about how?? that at good be could i.

Yeesss....a translator of what, exactly?

lord my decide to you for.

Well, babel fish usually handle things pretty well.....

So, position the have i do?

So, you'd like to be a translator....of no particular language.....you'd like to walk backwards, for no apparent reason....you can't talk linearly, though you don't notice....you're perfect! Pick a title and you're in!

*bowing deeply*
Greetings and salutations, oh most wonderful King and Queen!
I have heard so much of this wonderful land, and my expectations have been more than met. "A land flowing with orange juice and sweets..." Who needs milk and honey anyways?
If it please your majesties, I would like to join the royal court. Based on the fact that I am acquainted with my liege the King, I ask that he bestow whatever title he feels would benefit the Kingdom upon myself, and I would happily accept the duties that result thereof. I humbly await the royal decree.

But of course, I hereby bestow upon you the title of Lady anne of the gables green, and the duties of.......well, not much, really....

Your majesties, be assured that I will do whatever you decree whenever such edicts are made manifest. I rejoice to be a part of this wondrous land.

*Enter the crusty old butler, Thruthelthrolth*
Hello-o-o-o-o. Anyone here-e-e-e-e-e-e.
*sounds of an empty castle reverberate around his ears*
Harrumph, they've all gone off somewhere without telling any of the staff. Cook will be so annoyed. Oh well, we'll just have to eat all that wonderful food she's prepared. The life of a servant can be pretty good sometimes. I think I'll go and have a tinkle on the Steinway.
*Shuffles off. A few minutes later, the sounds of "Could it be Magic" played very badly waft out of the music room*

*The sounds of a cheesy Barry Manilow song come to a halt. Thruthelthrolth emerges from the music room, looks around, sees a still empty castle, sucks his teeth disdainfully, and returns to the piano*

Oh Mandy, well you came and you gave without taking
But I sent you away, oh Mandy
Well you kissed me and stopped from shaking.....

*wanders through*
Interesting playing Thruthelthrolth, though I'm not so certain of the singing quality....