h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

<--- bourbon

IRL I'm VERY sick...Stand back...nobody wants THIS virus!...I'll juss be on the ledge in the alley under the elcetric blanket, sleeping it off...the virus, not the Jack Danials.
...*posts a note inside the Pub...wonders if 'she's the only person to read international news...doesn't care...*
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PLEASE DECORATE THE TREE FROM NORWAY ANYWAY YOU LIKE IT'S A REAL FUR TREE COVERED WITH EURO DOLLARS
the decorations are in the closet uder the stairs...WR can show you where they are. ~Love Pandora~
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*Puts tinsel and lights on the tree*

Get well soon Pan. I'm suffering from an ague as well.

Mr Heppelwhite was something of a rival to Mr Chippendale in the furniture deparetment.

Poor Pan and Roadkill. bubbly>

ah, yes - chairman, wasn't he?

Why does Pan want us to decorate the tree all the way from Norway - we'll never be back in time!

*goes out to the alley to ask Pan but can only hear loud snoring coming from deep beneath her eclectic blanket, decides not to disturb. decision not to disturb ratified by the sign next to Pan saying "DO NOT DISTURB" written in thirty-foot high letters of fire*

Yes, Chippendale and Haffelwaffel. Didn't they use to work in the furniture department of Grace Bros. department store?

I seem to remember that they used to have monthly sales competitions to see who could sell the most Welsh Dressers. It all came to an ugly conclusion when Mr. Chippendale decided he preferred the Welsh to remain undressed. Mr. Happenblatter was most disgusted by this and left in righteous indignation! (Something of an improvement because last time he was left in Lingerie, which is on the third floor just past homewares. )

So, yes. That is indeed when Mr. Hugelflugel rose to the position of Chairman of Grace Bros.(He pressed the wrong button in the lift.) and now there's a department named after him in every department store in the world. But... *hushed whisper (as opposed to what?.. a really loud whisper?) Pan mumbles something about keeping the noise down and not forgetting to feed the Norweigan tree-goblins, then rolls over and resumes her symphonious snoring* No-one knows what they sell there!

And that's the story of Mr. Haberdasher and his department store department!

i knew i was right - somehow...

Ooh, an eclectic blanket. Where d'you get one of those?

Haberdashery department. Third floor, through Homewares on the left past Lingerie.

Near the Sophistoasters?

Bartender wakes up from some serious hybernating and looks around to see what heas changed in the last few months.

Comes to the conclusion that nothing has changed and nestles himself in a new nice and coosy position. But then, the stranged thing, there people in the br that want to order drinks, this has never happened before whats going on in here

Are you free?

Free from what?? I'm only the bartender you know.

I'm free!

free to change the world

I'm free, I'm free,
And freedom tastes of reality,
I'm free, I'm free,
And I'm waiting for you to follow me.

waiting, waiting you say,
perhaps another day.
altough i'm free,
I wonder, where you're taking me?

...*roasts marshmallows in the thirty foot high fire letters that spell: DO NOT DISTURB...blows a kiss at the bartender & the other men...waves at the *ahem* ladies...turns the electric blanket on high and goes back to sleep...mumbeling something about "I do NOT snore"......*

*Peers through the marshmallow smoke, and attempts to attract the barperson's attention above the sound of someone NOT snoring*

What does she mean '*ahem* ladies'? I had a very expensive edumocation, you know, I hold my little finger out when taking tea and only over cross my legs at my ankles when sitting

*nicks a marshmallow*

*Replaces Pandora's bucket o' tinis with Bucket o' Chicken Soup.*


Those Chippendales and Hepplewhites all have nice seats, if you noticed.

Isn't it time that we decorated the Pub? *Hauls out the dusty box from under the bar labeled XMAS and brings out and the traditional *