h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Waits for 'Granchester Meadows' to start playing *

*Hear's an annoying fly and picks up a fly swatter. Looks around... *

I can hear it... but I sure don't see it.

...*hopes Kes ain't holdin' his breath...*
That ain't no fly mari... I'm the one with the buzz! ...*downs shot # 72...but who's counting...*
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Oooooo pretty!!!

I postponed the dentist btw... I´ll have to go and let it done thursday evening... no way of butting out then... but I hate the syringe... (typo?)

I hate needle soooo much that I use hypnosis for pain block E.!!! I've had both hands operated on and two teeth pulled without novicane. Made a beliver outta' the doctors, I have.
Do you know how yo do that? Of course you'll want a few pain pills for afterwards. A fella' can't go around with his mouth on his mind all day.
What w*rks best for me is telling myself, i.e., my hand is a block of wood. Wood 'can' be carved. ("may" is proper...but this is MY pain block for inside my own head) Wood can be burned, it can be pulled...it feels nothing as it is wood. Nearly made the dentist faint at one point. I suggest wearing a headset attached to a portable CD player with your favorite music playing. That way you won't hear the dentist say things like, "Oh...God!!!...I can't believe you're not hanging from the ceiling by your nails right now!"
Those are the types of 'sounds' you'll want to aviod. Even taking the shot(s), this methed stops the shots from hurting.
An' I can make myself bleed & stop bleeding by thought too. I discovered it whilst in Philly, having blood drawn.Seems I have 'shy' veins....But before I let them stick a needle in MY foot...ot hand...they damnedwell had ta' wait to alow me time to make the blood flow into the needle already in my arm. I told myself my blood was warm & flowing...the next thing I know...the needle lady told me ta' stop the flow. Cold bloood. Stop.
pretty interesting stuff, huh?
Have a pint, on me.

I´m just no good at all the selfsugestive stuff... Sometimes I wish I were, but I play "too" rational...


*suggests a ===~~~*

Well, yes - ===~~~ could help too but I doubt your dentist will agree with it.

As long as he doesn´t go and smoke it first...

That could make a lovely day, methinks...

Yeah...the dentist coould get all 'artst' on ya' an' paint your teeth or sumthin'!
What about N20 E.? It's an amniostic...as soon as you start to say, "Ouch, you sonofa"...you forget what you were juss about to say & then you float off into the...well, wherever you float off to....*thinks E. might float Hati's way or sumthin'...*
If I were you, which I ain't...I'd practice pain block. What's logic to do with it??? The Orentials have used it for thousands of years. An' if 'I' can do it...I KNOW YOU can.
You could always practice the reverse...tell yourself you're gonna' get sick...keep tellin' yourself an' watch what happens!
The power of suggestion is mighty powerful!Whatch
this! I suggest everyone have a drink! I rest my case.

*Wakes immediately*
Pardon? Did someone mention a ? Don't mind if I do ......

I can't really count Kes as suggestable...he jusss likes ale.But lookie there--->the is licking up rum!
Must be a ship's cat or sumthin'.

...*goes to the Blue Goo Couch an' goes into a deep self indused (drunken) coma...pins a note to her chest: Please remember to move the couch and me into one of our more lively, months...*
See ya' next month! ..*...asks for a punless month.
Again.
...*pulls some burnt wool over her eyes....*

*Out of sympathy for Pan's apparent paronomophobia, Kes places a small container of heavily-scented strawberries and a glass of alcoholic fruit cocktail on the table beside the couch.*

Here's a PUNgent PUNnet and some PUNch, Pan!

AHEM!

Now that I have your attention... I would like to point out that it is but a few short weeks until the high point of the year for this Pub... HALLOWEEN! We need a big big, and I mean HUGE, party!

Any thoughts? Should we organize a committee? Decorations? Guest Lists? Caterers? Well???

*Hears a shouted greeting. Looks round for Ian.*

...*jumps up at the sound of the word 'PARTY'...knocks over a bunch of pungent stuff she don't remember puttin' there...doesn't care...hurries toward the bar...smelling like strawberries...she's making herself hungry...*
Howdy. Are we there yet?!?
I wanna' make sure I have plenty of room for my drinks...don't wanna' fill up on food or sumthin'. Are we there yet?!

Apparently not...

*Waits for someone else to push the appropriate buttons because her connection is too damned slow*

What's that peculiar smell Pan? Has someone been singeing wool or something?

well... if we are "burning down the thread..."

perhaps you´d just like to sign in over here...


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