h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Examines the icthyopods that Peregrine put on the table*

Well, these check out...

~Ernesto enters looking haggard and road weary~

Hello all, am I to late for the press lunch?

Oh, are you searching for weapons? Then hear hold this for me for a while please I'm tired of carrying it. ~He pulls out some kind of gun that he thinks he remembers seeing Chrome 101 carrying one of a while back~ Jeez that thing is heavy, I've been down to a place called New Jersey, if that is the new one I don't want to go the old one. They have a river down there that is going to be the cause of the next evolutionary step of that planet. I was down there trying to document it and decided to get myself a hand canon to protect myself from my subject.

And has Alien hired a doctor yet? I think that I might need to see one about these radiation burns that I picked up. Actually I think I'll take care of that now.

~Ernesto claims his gun on the way out~

*Enter Moose, slightly puffed cheeks*

It seems while I was out under the gas this invitation found it's way into my mail. Seems I've just found it slightly bent but still in good shape. I hope I haven't missed everything...

*Moose wanders off into the main area to find out what he may have missed*

*A black cloaked mystery figure appears and place a placard on the stage*

it Reads

BURN DEMON DRAWER BURN

*Lil enters in search of the waiter who was supposed to bring her a chicken sandwich*

*looks at sign in surprise*
Burn Demon Drawer? From what the others have said, I fear that would be all too easy. The boy is soused, he'd go up like a plum pudding. Perish the thought. I better go find Chrome and warn him that arson is being contemplated.

*exits in search of Chrome*

*A puff of black smoke apperars. Out of it appears RedFish who falls with a splat onto the floor*

damn..

*RedFish then mutters in an arcane language and a silver-rimmed fishbowl materialises around him*

Thats better. Ahem.

Good afternoon. I am RedFish, the Masque's running mate. I am pleased to make your aquaintance.

*The fishbowl then levitates to head-height where it stays, suspended in the air to allow RedFish to observe the proceedings*

Do carry on.

*re-enters press room, having failed to find waiter, chicken sandwich or Chrome*

Oh! Good day to you, Redfish! I'm glad to hear that the Red Masque has found a running mate in time for the elections. The main thrust of the Press Conference has already taken place, although more announcements are probably forthcoming. And there seems to be activity taking place here and there...

*Frowns*

I missed it? Hmmf! I mean, yes I missed it! I didnt think it worthy of my presence. Yes.

*Tries to look as if he means it*

*Pr. C. Tonks teleports in with a BIG grin on his face* Hey there guys, sorry to break up the press conference, but I've got something to share with you all: The Celery is dead! Finally, justice has been served! I've killed him and Webjello! http://www.h2g2.com/F49946?thread=68145&post=519801

*The RedFish begins to cackle insanely*

hahahahahahahahaahahahahahahaaahaaaaaaa! Dead? ahaah! The Irony!

Well done C, a victory for the bad guys hahahahahahahhaahahaaaaa

*RedFish's day is made*

*Redbeard enters*
I have a statement to read from The Celery.
*reads*


It appears that the news of my death has been greatly exaggerated. I'm still here, ready to work for all of h2g2. If you came all the way over just to hear news about my death, I'm sorry to disappoint you. Feel free to stop by the dining room and have something to eat and drink. Thank you.
- The Celery


*Redbeard leaves*

Darn it.

Oh well.