h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Actually, I've found that the excuse that there is someone else (real or imaginary) works well, particularly when they won't take "go away" for an answer. It's somewhat easier to believe that there is someone better out there, rather than believe that your lover would rather be alone than be with you.

The classic break-up excuse:
"You deserve someone better than me."

The beautiful part about this one is that it's incredibly hard for the dumpee to argue with it. After all, who doesn't deserve someone better?

But I don't *want* anyone better. I want *you.*

So whines the dumpee.

If anyone told me this one, I'd know immediately that they were covering up a much nastier reason.

Why use your own excuses? I thought my relationship with my girlfriend was on pretty rocky ground, and explained to her why I thought so. No, no, she was adamant that everything would work out and that this was just a temporary speed bump. Two weeks later she dumped me by repeating practically word for word everything I'd said to her. Oh, and she added that she just wasn't ready for a 'heavy' relationship. Original or what?