h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

37 ways as I remember. At least that's when we ran out of cats. (No, I'm joking. Stop hitting me!!! Please!!!)

Anyway, save the fish and the cockroaches and the fruit, Eat the Flowers...http://www.h2g2.com/A331606

You think chimps enjoy being toruted into wearing human clothes? You are living in la la land.

Save the cats from the flayers!
Save the fishes!
Down with the humans!

Well, some humans are allright. A lot of them are entertaining. So please, no harming the football players, hockey stars, musicians, actors and writers.

What if the chimps are in a cold climate!?? They might want a nice coat...

And the only kitty-cat I ever wanted to skin was the kid who got to dress up as our mascot(the tiger!!! YAY!!! GO TIGERS!!!) back when I was in high school. I wanted to get to dress up as the tiger...

No, chimps already have a coat. Okay some humans are okay. But not most of them.

Well, I didn't see any fish writing the hitchhikersguigetothegalaxy or programming this site. If I look in the pond all I see is a load of fish trying to figure out which one is called bob!

There is no sight in the world sadder than a vegetarian at a barbecue so, if you are a vegetarian, you may want to stop reading this.

Winter rains make it difficult to enjoy an outdoor barbecue, which is traditionally the domain of summer, but there has to be a way. I recently stepped outside and lit a few coals in a dreadful downpour - but took the precaution of carrying an umbrella. This experiment was fine and dandy, until the smoke billowed up beneath the umbrella, and I found it difficult to breathe. And so I grabbed a pair of scissors and snipped out a few strategic vents in the umbrella. The smoke sailed away, and left me free to consider what I might cook, but then the rain fell onto my head, and I got soaking bloody wet. Well, they say there's more than one way to skin a cat, which brings me to an excellent recipe.

First catch some cockroaches:-
Simmer cockroaches in vinegar. Then boil with butter, farina flour, pepper and salt to make a paste. Spread on buttered bread

As you say, there is indeed more than one way to skin a cat. But as *I* pointed out, the exact number of these methods has yet to be determined. Dr. Goof Lithium had claimed it to be 37, but as he immediately retracted this statement while receiving a savage beating, we cannot accept his testimony. It appears that I may well have to move forward with my personal pursuit of this mystery. In order to avoid offending FashionCat, Greebo T. Cat, and others, I WILL NOT describe all of the methods of cat-skinning in detail. I WILL NOT encourage others to participate in this practice. I will only provide a number, once I have done the required research and determined the answer.

Ewwwwww....

Poor little babies...

I wonder if that tastes like crunchy peanut butter...

~Greebo extends her titanium tipped false claws upon reading the last few forum entries~

As luck would have it, you came VERY close in your estimate. There are in fact 42 different ways to skin a cat. (No cats were harmed in the researching of this information, we practiced on fish instead. Though lawyers would've worked if we hadn't caught any fishes.)
~§~

PS Chimps dressed as The Gortons Fisherman helped us do the fileting. Looks like we DO dine on fish tonight! Mwahahahahahahahaaaaaa!!!

A fish dinner sould please the cats. And after my last few posts, they'll need some cheering up.

BUT!!! Poor FISHES!!!!

They're not "poor" at all, they're most tasty!
~§~

Aye, 'tis true

My feline friends! I invite you all to a most delicious piscine feast, so that I might attone for harm my curiosity* has done you!








*If ANYBODY makes a joke with "curiosity" and "cats," then so help me, I'll find out how many ways there are to skin THEM!

I'm sure there are many more ways to skin a lawyer... *grins*

What did a little fish ever do to you!??

~Greebo looks disgruntled...~

Me a veggie cat!!!

Alright! Alright! For vegetarian cats, we'll provide some soy-based "fish"sticks, same as the ones they serve us at school (But fresher!). Geez, the things I do to stay on good terms with you people...

You aren't staying on good terms with me, buddy!!!

::hugs Greebo for being a vegetarian:: No WONDER so many say you are the best cat ever!!! Tis true, tis true...!!!