h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

This article is just downright wrong! It is in bad taste, discriminating against fish, and should be banned.
What do you mean "Fish are mainly stupid aquatic creatures"??? That's a lie! Fish are the ultimate in life forms, how can anything be better than a fish? I mean, what do you humans ever do? Go round killing each other and wearing nappies!

Believe me, you'll be hearing from my union about this!

My apologies However I am sure that any fish as smart as you would have no problem avoiding our clumsy attempts to catch you
BCNU - Crescent

That's not the point - it is encouraging genocide, the entire and systematic destruction of an entire life form for the purpose of cooking some food. It's worse than cannibalism! You're trying to murder my brothers and sisters across the globe!

I don't think it's very friendly

No no, we are actually trying to increase the level of fitness and intelligence in your population, increase the quality of life for all....
BCNU - Crescent

No, you're trying to cook the fish population - and that doesn't increase fitness or intelligence in any way.
And when some fish very occasionally try and eat a human back, in the one or two cases of genuine shark attacks, you get all upset and make a film called "Jaws", three sequals, plus use cgi in "Deep Blue Sea" and murder more sharks just for trying to be equal.
And when was the last time piranha fish were invited around to eat some people?
I don't think murder is a nice way to try and make life happier - it doesn't work.

Please let us swim in peace - you've got the land, let us have the sea.

we try to, but the pesky mudskippers are always invading our territory, and why are you bothering about sharks, sharks aren't fish
BCNU - Crescent

He's right. If we, the h2g2 fishes, posted an article on how to gut a human, would It get edited? Of course it wouldnt. This site is for both humans and fishes and we should be living in harmony not fear.

---RedFish

I would edit it, I know how to gut them, I would eat them, hmmmmm long pig If fish didn't want to be eaten they would swim away from the net or hook or spear.....
BCNU - Crescent

I eat humans, and they haven't protested yet.

Hmm well howabout putting a warning at the top of the article so fishes dont read it and then have nightmares and then write the article on how to gut a human (including a little graphic like on the fish one) with a similar warning to even the balance? That might make the union slightly happier.

RedFish

I'll still have nightmares...

How do I know that Crescent isn't, at this very moment, planning to Gut me?

Redfish - it is called Gutting a Fish, that should be a warning in and of itself As for you Honda, bwahahahaha, I am right now, listen to the knife slinding along the whetstone, bwahahahaha. Well, no at the mo' I am at work, and fish is only nice when you catch it yourself, and normally there are way to many bones - so all in all, unless in a survival situation, I prefer not to eat fish, well not much
BCNU - Crescent

It must have been very traumatic for you Honda when you stumbled upon this... evil document. However since you alerted others to its presence you have caused others to know of its existence and so they will not read it by mistake. Now is a time when the fish sanctuary and union are truly needed. The other fishes and celery will not allow any one of us to be g*tted by Cresent. And the union can campaign. We fishes must stick together. We will overcome.

---RedFish
"A vote for RedFish is a vote against fish g*tting by Cresent"

I don't like Crescent. He is very unfriendly to fish.

The Union of Fish will make you pay for this!!!

*Waves a Protest Sign saying "Down With Fish Gutters - Fish Are Researchers Too!"*

Ah a protest this is more like it!!!

Pay no poll tax!!!
Pay no poll tax!!!

oops I was having flashbacks sorry

Down with Cresent! Down with the fish G*tter!
Down with Cresent! Down with the fish G*tter!
Down with Cresent! Down with the fish G*tter!

Let me join the protest, this is a truly disgusting article

Crescent,

You seem to have left out the "holding-a-fish-with-one-handand-and-using-the-index-and-middle-fingers-on-the-other-hand-to-hook-under-it's-gills-then-pulling-back-and-breaking-its-neck" method. It's more reliable and faster.

BTW h2g2 fishies, I'm a veggie and posted this information for information purpeses only, I love fish, I've even got 3 left handed ones on my page. So, don't come hunting me down and trying to eat me, please.

Einstein was a pacifist when he helped with the nuclear bomb.
Still killed a whole lot of people (and the fishes in the rivers)

You can never justify mass murder - so do not even try.
If you eat fish and kill fish, you are as guilty as anyone.
*DOWN WITH THE FISH G*TTERS!*

Cresent, Firstly I would like to state that I have nothing personal against you (unlike Honda ) And although you article is an informative and usefull article (If you happen to be a Genocidal Fish killing maniac)... (or trapped on an island with only fish for food...)...

But Still it is exactlly the same as someone writing an article upon "How to humanely eat each other in desperate situations". As a Fish I take it quite personally, although I know it wasn't meant as such, and feel I am completely within my rights to get a plank of wood and a board, and write "DOWN WITH FISH G*TTERS" in red on it. Then march around in circles and light camp fires singing chants of "We shall not, we shall not be g*tted..."