h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

[The cube abruptly appears right in front of them, completely intact]

Uh-oh. It looks like our technobabble failed to help us this time!

(Sorry, couldn't resist.)

fudgenuts???
maybe if we ask the cube nicely to leave us alone... should i try to talk to it???
computer, open communications with the cube.

[a Parasitan appears on the screen. It looks like a Borg, only with the R/B/Y color scheme. It says, "Greetings. We seek to bring other life forms in the galaxy closer to perfection."]

Nice. Can we customize our assimilation?

["Assimilation!? Ugh! What a nasty-sounding word! I've -- Oh, I get it! You're a Star Trek fan! The hell with /these/ morons!" The cube flies off and is never seen in that area of the galaxy again.]

Do I deserve some sort of award?

<Sorry for another one of these messages, but can't someone be a fan of both Star Trek *and* Star Wars?*

[No one said they couldn't. The Parasitans just don't like Star Trek fans because of the way the Borg are portrayed.]

So, what're we doing now?

(I recommend that you try to find the Mangar's Crew in the extremely over touristed Disney Planet.)

~Continuity problems have apparently resulted from the matter transference accident that hurled Red and Irving out of our story over a week ago. Suddently the Raven picks up a transmission from a nearby spaceship~

...he Raven, and it's venerable crew. We have onboard your honored commander. We have nursed him back to health, and he has shown us the light. Your way of life seems new and interesting to us. We have, as befits a man of your Commander's stature, lavished him with jewels, fine silks, and rare fruits. In exchange for his return, we ask only that your great society will teach us in these wonderful ways of mercenary treachery of which your Commander Speaks. He seems to us to be a great and wise man, and we are loathe to keep him from you. Please respond. Message repeat. To the interstellar ship The Raven and...

*Montressor hears the message, and processes it. He should tell Black*

The Disney Planet is a sparsely populated world. (Of people who actually have minds, that is.) It should be easy to locate the crew of the Mangar.

[An empty Sith Infiltrator suddenly appears out of hyperspace, with a repeating message that says, "To Corrigible from your master, Darth Sane. To Corrigible from your master, Darth Sane. To Corrigible from your master, Darth Sane. To Corrigible from your master, Darth Sane. To Corrigible from your master, Darth Sane. To Corrigible from your master, Darth Sane. To Corrigible from your master, Darth Sane. To Corrigible from your master, Darth Sane." Darth Corrigible beams over to it, and starts flying toward the Disney Planet]

Hey! This is much cooler than a lousy BowTIE Interceptor!

[Soundtrack: A drumbeat with Sith-sounding music. The Sith Infiltrator engages a cloaking device.]

(First I'd recommend that we begin a voyage of the raven part 3: the return of Red or some similarly cool name)

*Touch down of the first of the hijacked ships*

I'm moving in on the last known position of the Mangar, But there doesn't seem to be anything here, switching over to anti-detection jamming cicuits... Still nothing. Well, I'll plant a spider mine here, If it trys to take off over in this area, It'll find it. *Spider Mine immediately dashes off and attaches itself to the Mangar, Grey realizing there was an SEP in place can now see and identify the ship.*

Fellow villains, I've located the Mangar, They set up a Somebody Else's Problem field but can't fool this machine. It's attached itself to the hull, so we have another tracking device in place. I'm going to cloak and go aboard the ship and see what I can see.

*Grey disappears and all that can be seen is a slight ripple as he walks onto the ship*

The Mangar's signal has just reappeared on our scanners. I'm uploading the position of our ships and the Mangar to the Raven which seems to have found Red. We're a complete team again! The Mangar seems to be heading to the neighboring planet of Ratatooine. Setting course and preparing autopilot.

This is Raven to the unidentified ship claiming to have our Commander aboard. Do you copy? We are greatly grateful to you for saving him, now could I please talk to him to make sure he is on board?



This is Raven to other S.T.U.M.P.E.D. ships. I have just received a message from an unidentified ship - they say they've saved Red. If that's true, we can continue our mission concerning the Mangar. However, I think we should be careful until we are certain that they are who they say they are. I will go and get Red back - are some of you following the Mangar?

Me!

*Another pie is floating through space*

OK, Y2K is following Mangar, and so is Grey? Is there anyone to back me up if the unidentified ship turns out to be hostile? Not that I wouldn't be able to handle it by myself...

*The Raven starts slowly approaching the unidentified ship waiting for it to give any response*

Not me! I'm after one of the crew on the Mangar!

You may speak to your honoured commander at this location: http://www.h2g2.com/F35868?thread=63611&post=467868

hey... uh... i can help someone out. i'm sorry i didn't respond sooner, i had a nasty fall and kinda, well, was unconscious for a while. but i'm better now!!! let's get going with this mission!!!
hey, by the way, what is the purpose of the mission?!