h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

(But you're such an impressive villain! I don't want this to be your last post)

Well, welcome aboard, Grey!
*wonders if it'll be the whole rainbow soon*
I - as Red probably already told you - am Cpt. Black and it's good to have new blood here! I understood there was supposed to be another villain coming here too... I wonder where she is...

Heh, of course I meant my last _long_ post...

Yes that's what I had thought but she appears to be lost in the wash. Perhaps she'll turn up in due time.

At any rate it is good to speak with you Captain. My ship has arrived in system and I've decided it shall be called Tiamat after the ancient dragon. In accordance with my previous plan the ship is docked inside the first of our captured convoy ships. It is available for immediate dispatch at any time so ordered. I have the transporter locked on my position at all times so that I may be at the helm instantly should the need arise.

~Grey

*steps out of the shadows and trips over her own feet*
whoops! sorry, got a little lost... is there still room for me?
oh yeah, and i hope you don't mind but i found a ship for me to use! it's called the Azrael, and, well, it's idiot-proof and i can't break anything by falling on it. knowing my propensity towards clumsiness, i figured it was probably a good idea...
so, where are we headed? what's the plan?

*In the deepest heart of the Raven, all is silent.
An abrupt screeching noise echoes down a long metallic corridor. Then a ventilation shaft cover crashes to the ground. The theme music from Mission:Impossible begins to play as Chrome101 effortlessly somersaults out of the shaft and stands up, his Fork of Destiny held at the ready.*
Now that's what I call a find! A secret passage leading directly into the Raven!
Now, hopefully I can find Irving and rescue him, whilst disrupting the henious schemes of Red and co. without Montresor finding me...

*secretly hope otherwise, cos he's aching to see the Anarchist Android in action*

*dances in circles*
lalalalalalalalala!
*stops, shakes head*
whoa. sorry, that was my very-blonde-and-ditzy alter ego taking over for a second.
*clears throat*
i feel kinda silly now... i think i'll go hide in the corner. i'll be there for a while, if anyone needs me...
*turns invisible*

~On other buisness, enters cargo hold, armed. See's Chrome sneaking in and Irving, out of his cage, messing with the transporter system.~

Chrome! Irving! I turn my back for a moment and suddently I'm under attack!

~Flips switch. The evil robot in the middle of the floor springs to life and adresses Red as it's master~


I am CLI-Bot unit number 4077-22, Codenamed Montressor. I am at your service, Comander.


Montressor! Deal with Chrome. Irving and I have a score to settle.

/Red

PS -- Chrome, I need to discuss a plot matter with you, I'll be posting to your page.

*Montressor swings round to face Chrome. He is truly a scarifying sight, a metallic monstrosity, a ravening robot (that's enough alliterative description - Ed.)
*Chrome thinks quickly. The Fork of Destiny may have magical powers, but he prefers to shoot his way out. He draws the Big Gun.*

Let's see your stuff, Montressor!

*Montressor's hands fold back, exposing six-barrelled miniguns on each wrist. Chrome gulps and somersaults out of the way, letting off a few shots. The explosive-tipped shells wing Montressor, putting each minigun out of action for the duration of this battle.
Running backward along a huge metal gantry, Chrome looks down and sees Red and Irving battling furiously over the transporter system. He levels the Big Gun, tyring to get a clear shot, but Montressor's metal arm catches him a weltering blow to the side of the head.
Chrome fires as he slips over the edge, pulverising the co-ordinate seetings which Irv has just programmed.
Chrome lands in a pile of crates. Picking himself up, he runs towards the pair. As Irving hits Red around the face, pinning him against the transporter cubicle, Chrome dives to avoid Montressor's shuriken attack, and hits his hand on a big red button saying "Energise"...*

*materializes in the corner and looks ar darth noire and the grey spectre*
um... did you guys hear something? it sounded like a fight...

~Immediately Chrome101, along with Irving and Red, grappling with eachother in a wrestiling hold, are transported to a holding cell in the mangar. Simultaneously, Lenore automatically attempts to bring Red back to the Raven, while Monterssor is physically telling the transporter to put Irving back in his cell. The result is that Red and Irving, too close together, are being pulled by three transporter signals at once, and Chrome101 is locked in a prison cell on board his own ship, the Mangar~

*A low, ~crystalline~ groan echoes around the ship. Elsewhere, a torrent of psychic energy purs out of the hole which the raven has been extracting fuel from. A gigantic claw flicks the fuel tube aside languidly.*

If you have no idea who (or what) the Crystalline Entity is, then read the last few postings on the Mission to Zork(2) thread

*falls to floor*
did you guys feel that?! what... what was it?!
*moves to window and looks toward planet*
um... might i ask, is that SUPPOSED to be moving?!

*Meanwhile, Lenore detects to beams of energy shooting off in opposite directions: one to the Disney Planet, homeworld of The Rodentar System, and the other into space*

Cptn. Black, sea, and Grey, We have an emergency, Due to conflicting transporter signals, Cmdr. Red is missing. His signal has been flung out of this stellar system, I am tracing his signal but the trail is getting indistinct. At this moment I am also detecting a large entity ready to to attack.

Recommendations:
1) Cptn. Black, I suggest taking the raven and myself out to find Red, I'll track him as best I can.
2) sea, and Grey, Take the CLI ships we've hijacked as well as your respective ships and distract the crystalline entity, until we leave the system, destroy it if you can and follow the crew of the Mangar as they try to find their navigator.

Sounds like a plan to me. Transporting to Tiamat.

*Grey disappears in a flash of light*

here we go... the Azrael's maiden voyage!
*disappears in a puff of orange smoke*

i guess it's better that way... then we don't have to deal with it!!!
computer, let's get to following the mangar... keep a safe distance. and- turn on some music while you're at it!
*starts dancing to papa roach as the ship zooms off*

Much better... It keeps all of our surprises for later, heh heh heh. Now on to keeping our eyes on the crew of the Mangar. By the way, do the convoy ships have a name? Anyway *takes the helm of the CLI ship and plots a course after the Mangar* Engage Electronic Counter Measures, send jamming signals, See what you can do about using the suns corona to get some extra anti-detection. Meantime, I'm off to my room to enjoy a good root beer soda.

*The Mangar shoots out of the nostril of the dog-shaped moon, along with the rest of the fleet. Moments later the moon explodes. The Mangar heads towards the surface of DisneyPlanet.*

*Several shards of crystal are hurled in our heroes general vecinity*