h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*overhears sea's comments as he and IAN come up to the camp*

From what I've just heard we're all in deep trouble and any connections from the past seem to be of little benefit in this future.

I think you all need to hear what IAN has to tell us of the predicament we're in.

*gestures for IAN to come forward*

*comes forward nervously for she is not sure of the reception she will be given*

Hello everyone. We didn't get off to the right start or any start for that matter but there are some things you need to know about the situation you are in .....

~ goes on to recount postings 967 to 981 ~

..... so you see you cannot go back, you cannot stay here for to do so will result in you all slowly succumbing to the Orchids and to go forward is fraught with extreme danger

Oh goodness! We must do something about this!!

We can't go back through the same rift we came in through? Oh dear.

Well, it seems to me that we don't have any choice. We must get to the Temple in order to get rid of these orchids, which means we must pass through the mines of CLI/STUMPED. And after that, we'll have to find this other rift.

*looks at watch*

Well, if we don't take too long over breakfast, we should be home before lunch.

Tunnels, eh?

*four rat-ants step out of the jungle onto the beach and jog up to the fire, tossing brown wilted orchids aside as they come. They stop and cluster round Amos, still slumbering on the carpet*

*the orchids can be seen to shrink away from the rat-ants as they bend over the carpet*

*the rat-ant-in-charge yanks a large orchid off the carpet and presses it to the top of his head as he turns to the people round the fire*

[r-a-i-c] This is not a nice place.

*although he speaks in Rat, somehow the orchids make it possible for everyone else to understand him, although there is something like static. This might be because the orchid is struggling to get away*

*Tethers Toby at the tree line, then proceeds to check all his equipment thoroughly. Takes a crafty look in his saddlebags and chuckles a little*

~conversationally~

They used to laughingly call them Orc-Hids at the Mine. Not nice things

*Realizes that she is dressed way too warmly for the current conditions. Orchids would never survive in the winter conditions she prepared for to return the Christmas tree. Witty takes off the bright red jacket and ski pants, revealing camo-patterned cargo pants and tank top. She stows the winter clothes in the raft. The single orchid previously on the back of her neck nas become a lei.*

If we are going into the tunnels, perhaps we should persuade the rat-ants to stay with us.

*Sighing to himself*

Rat-ants in tunnels....never a fantastic mix....

No! I won't do it! you can't make me!

*Helps himself to some breakfast. Considers the sorts of things that are likely to happen this day. Helps himself to some more breakfast.*

*sits next to Garius Lupus and whilst Garius is considering what the day might bring helps himself to Garius's breakfast*

*Feels strangely unsatisfied by breakfast.*

*Awakens with a jolt, begins looking around frantically*

So tell me, IAN....if that really is your name...., do you know what types of dangers we might expect upon reaching the mines?

*glances at GDZ when he jumps, then turns back to serving herself breakfast and . waits for more discussion on what the plan is, still not being fully up-to-speed in this world*

*Gets off the raft and joins the others at the fire.*

*hands GDZ a plate of breakfast*

Tunnels. *noticing as the plate leaves her hand and seems to balance in the air in front of GDZ* Hey! That is SO cool.

*settles down for some breakfast and composes herself*

I don't know if I can entirely satisfy your curiosity about what to expect at the mine. I had access to everything through my but since that link was broken it all becomes misty and vague. I do know that the operation is run by the Wolf and the Lizard - they are extremely resourceful, cunning and devious and are to be feared. It would be wise not to underestimate them.

You will also face the remainder of The Nine - Researchers to whom The One gave the curse of magic s. The original Nine have been whittled down by accident and calamity over time - my is lost in the jungle and one other was reputed to have been lost some time ago in an expedition back to the Golden Age of H2G2. As is the way with magic objects such as these, they are sentient to some degree and will seek to return to The One by any means they can. They are able to corrupt even the stoutest of hearts and you should be on your guard at all times.

Then there are the unspeakable ancient things that lurk in the deeps.

*shudders*