h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*A "Continuity Clone" of Arlecchino, unexpectedly created by an accident involving two quarts of coffee and a mobius doughnut in a seperate forum, appears. The CC exists outside normal H2G2 continuity, but can interact with H2G2.

CC: Hey, what's this ice statue of me doing here?

*The CC examines the frozen Arlecchino*

CC: I hope he's wearing his long underwear.

[YK] Don't mind if I do.

[YK leaps into the attack. He is a surprisingly good swordsman and manages to parry 87% of all blows sent his way. The other 13% he dodges completely.]

*When the door to the security room opens, it reveals six securi bots, each aiming snowzars and neural stunners, at Hades and the demoness named Cindy. Ampton and Chesworth dart into the lobby from different directions, each ready for a fight. A monitor turns on, showing a very bored looking Affy. He starts to speak, but catches sight of Cindy. He looks confused for a moment, and starts speaking again*

Sal, that you? What on earth are you doing here? Are you still after that bounty on my head?

*Cindy blinks, and Affy catches it*

Hey, who are you? You look like a bounty hunter that used to chase me around the Tourc Nebula when I went there to gather samples. I don't act kindly towards people impersonating old flames of mine.

*The CC grabs another snowsar gun and makes sure it's pointed the right way this time. He rushes into the room where the confrontation between the robots and the villains is taking place*

CC: I'm not too late, am I?

*CC notices that the robots have everything under control*

CC: Oh. I see I am. Um, as long as you mean looking types are at gunpoint, can someone please explain to my the backstory here? I mean, I know you guys are after Affy, but why?

[Enter the Comic Book Guy, wearing a "Worst Cameo Ever" T-shirt.]

[CBG] Simply put, Stepanie and Tusk, who are babysitting STUMPED, have put a price on the head of Afgncaap5. [exits]

Well, I'd say that they were after a certain bounty on my head that the members of STUMPED were after, but I don't recognize these people as STUMPED agents. This one person looks alot like a girl that I used to alternate between dating and escaping from (she was a bounty hunter), except she's a tad older.

But there's still the matter of the person in the tower. Chesworth, send two of these robots to the tower to find the other intruder.

CC: Who was that fat man?

[YK] The Comic Book Guy from "The Simpsons."

CC: I was trying to make a Lone Ranger reference. I knew who he was. By the way, nice simulpost there, Affy!

Cindy:
(While continuing to fight, though less ferouciously) My name is Cindy, and I never knew my parents. Now you say I look like this woman you used to know? Do you think maybe, she and I could be related? Could I... maybe... ask you a few questions about her?

*CC blasts Cindy with the snowsar gun. He looks down at the setting a litte two late*

Only half a post. Drat!

Due to being incredibly hot and sexy Cindy only suffers from the Snowzar effect for half the set time. However since it was set for 1/2 a post it doesn't make much difference.

Cindy: That was cold, SAVE!! My lightsaber's busted!! Now what am I going to do??

CC: Take up belly-dancing? Just a suggestion.

[YK] Maybe surrender?

~Hades, who has been impersonating a wall in order to avoid being frozen, finds himself behind the robots. He creeps over to the security monitors and starts looking for affy. Upon realizing that he is inside the "unknown" region of CLI, Hades slams a hand down on the console. The bots whirl around to see where the noise came from, and Hades grins, showing long, glinting vampyre fangs.~

Hades: I believe I have been goyng about this the wrong way. Tell afgncap5 that he has not yet seen the last of Hades.

~There is a puff of acrid black smoke and Hades is gone. In his place is a bat, which flies out of the security room above the bots' heads and out of CLI.~

*Affy watches Hades fly out, and ponders*

Hmmm, I wonder if this is because of all of the times that I've broken into Hades or through a Hades security system (at least five at my last count). Oh, well, he'll be back, I'm sure.

As for you, Cindy, Sal looked remarkably like you. Would've been irresistable if it hadn't been for the fact that she tried to turn me in for a bounty whenever a new one was put on my head. I'd escape, I'd eventually pay whatever fine I owed, or appease whatever new space tyrant that I'd annoyed most recently, and we'd run into each other again, get back together, and then the next bounty would come up, and I'd vanish as soon as I saw her toss open that neurosis trap of hers. Funny, I've not even looked for her lately. I guess the on and off exposure kinda helped me build up resistance. That, and her constant attempts to turn me over for cash or some new treasure.

But anyway, Cindy, I've really got no idea about much of her backstory. I mean sure, I knew more about her than she knew about me, but that didn't stop her from being a bit of a question mark. And now, if you don't mind, we're closed right now. Tours reopen at six AM tomorrow. I trust you don't need any help out.

*Meanwhile, Chesworth and two securibots have entered the tower with the other intruder. Snowzars and Neural Stunners at the ready, they begin searching every room, elevator shaft, and duct*

[Link] Great! Could you cast a Kulcad spell on Klin, here?

[Klin] [still lying on the floor where Mackenzie and Link dragged him] There once was a kobold named Larry,
Who was fooled by a wizard contrary.
He went mano-a-mano,
Then drank a Sirano,
And that's when things really got hairy.

[Sexy Looking Demoness Dame]
Very well then. I shall depart, for now. Perhaps I'll return later. After all, you look like an interesting fellow. **Dissapears in a puff of foul smelling smoke**

*CC feels himself getting fainter*

CC: If I seem to dissolve, vanish, or fade out, don't be alarmed. It's just that the Mobius accident only gave me the day off Saturday, and not today, and so I'm now about as useless as Arlecchino.

*He points to frozen Arlecchino*

I'll be totally gone by monday morning.

Well, we've gotten rid of Hades, and that mysterious Cindy finally left, so that only leaves two more things....

*Affy appears in the room, and casts a Kulcad spell at Klin. He then heads off to the tower, listening to the securants reports about the intruder*