h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I did, but I'm still lost. I couldn't find any air shafts, or a hallway this long. Will someone please tell me where I am? I know I'm probably not allowed in that big box that says "unknown", but I feel totally useless. I've got a stick to hit people over the head with, but that seems a bit impotent in light of the heavily armed mercs running around this place. Do you guys always have security problems like this?


*Alrecchino decides that in order to be of any use in this forum he needs to be armed. He heads for the security room to ask the security bots nicely whether he can get a weapon.*

We have as well, we simply were not sure where we came in. We still do not, but we will try to make the best of it.

~The shadowy figure realizes that he is headed towards a recreation room. He stops, pulls out a pocket computer, and peers at a map of the facility. He then turns around and heads for where he believes the lobby should be, mutteryng slightly~

Still recovering from laughter over Arl speaking into the securimouse


*As the various security droids report in, several red blips on GL's monitor change postion. One blip, on the Northeast tower, moves higher. Another blip approaches the security office. A third blip moves towards the lobby. GL pushes the button for visuals and his screen opens 3 small windows. One window shows vague shadows. Another window shows other vague shadows inside a duct. The last window shows Arl walking down a corridor, muttering about needing a weapon. GL glances at Affy and raises his eyebrows. Affy nods and GL presses a key on the intercom.*

Chesworth? A man dressed in motley will be approaching you in a few minutes, asking for a weapon. Give him a snowzar, but disable the permafrost setting.


The snowzar can freeze people for various lengths of time, measured in posts. The permafrost setting is, well, permanent.

~The shadowy figure fynally reaches the lobby and sighs~

Hades: Allright, lobby. So the door to the security room should be behynd the desk... Desk... Ah. There it is.

~He walks behynd the desk and approaches the door~

Evil Looking Demoness Dame:

Humm, I don't think they want me here. **Alters shape to look like Affy's mental picture of the ideal woman.**

Sexy Looking Demoness Dame: Much Better.

**Enters the lobby through the front door. Waves at one of the security cameras and bats her eyelashes.**

~Hades whirls around to face the woman. His eyes burn an angry red~

Hades: Who are you, and what are you doing here?

[Sexy Looking Demoness Dame]
You can call me Cindy. I'm looking for a good time. **Looks Hades up and Down** Not that I think YOU can provide me with one.

~Hades laughs~

Hades: I sense that you may be on the same path as I am.

~He bows deeply~

Hades: I am Hades. And do not misynterpret my intentions, I highly doubt I could provide the "good time" you speak of. But why are you really here?

Sexy Looking Demoness Dame:
Well, I've heard that there's a fun fellow here by the name of Affgincaap5. Unfortunately I can't tell you my plans without risk of moderation . Lets just say that I know my way around a bedroom.

~Hades looks slightly surprised for a moment, then quickly hides the surprise.~

Hades: If you say so. I have reason to believe that Afgncap5 might be inside this room.

~He motions to the door.~

Hades: I am lookyng for him as well... But for a very different purpose.

~He turns back to the door and puts one hand on the knob. He turns it.~

*Arlecchino reaches Chesworth*

Hey, there, Mr. Bot. Can I have a weapon of some sort? I want to be one of the good guys, but I'm feeling a little useless.

*The robot gives Arlecchino a Snowsar-gun, and explains it's uses in freezing people*

Arlecchino: Oh, so you fire it like this?

Chesworth: No, no, sir, you have the gun pointing the wrong way 'round.

*Arlecchino fires the weapon and inadvertently freezes himself until Monday morning*

*Red lights begin to flash and sirens begin to wail at Affy's monitor*

Frankly, I don't think that Affy /has/ an idea of what the, er, f@#$ an "ideal woman" would look like.

Incidentally, what's that brown, wooden-looking thing between the Security room, the Lobby, the Galley, and the corridor just south(?) of the Public Lab Area?


[YK races into the lobby and draws his lightsaber. He appears about to say something but his mind seems to screw up at the sight of "Cindy". He then checks "Cindy's" Force sense.]

[YK] Hi. I'm hear to kick you out of CLI for trying to kidnap Affy. [actually arms his lightsaber, casting a blue glow on himself] And don't take me lightly.

Sexy Looking Demoness Dame:
Why would you want to hurt me? All I want is a Good time.
**Looks at the lightsabre** My what a big... sword you have.

[YK regards "Cindy" with "The Stare", a look of total disregard for the outrageous statement that just came his way.]

[YK] Stilleta Weaver, I am a Jedi. It is impossible to successfully lie to a Jedi. And it's no use making any loud noises of protest here, because they won't work.

Sexy Looking Demoness:
The dark side is stronger, and a lot more fun. Why don't you join us? And I'm not Siletta Weaver, just one of her fiends. Right now I'm trying to outdo my Bother, Bob, AKA: Ugly Looking Demon Dude.

Siletta's having a bit of a problem with her sister, Dinah, right now. So I agreed to take on this task. Now then, are you going to join the dark side, or do I have to kill you?

~Hades supresses a chuckle as he opens the door to the security room~

I don't think Affy's in the security room. I'm almost sure he's in that big empty space marked "UNKNOWN".



*The Fool remains frozen*

[Dylan] [leaning into the shot] Oopsie, impossibility alert!

[He dumps Continuity Bleach over YK's head. YK has now said "Demoness" instead of "Stiletta Weaver".]

[YK] So are you going to make this easy, or am I going to have to --

[The door opens. Enter Link and Mackenzie, dragging Klin, a shapeshifter who is suffering from the effects of, it wouls seem, Sirano potion and the Imp spell. No, wait -- with SW here, that could get confusing. Let's call it Kappa. A Kappa is a humanoid cross between a frog and a duck (without feathers), wearing a helmet.]

[[The Imp spell has been renamed "Kappa"]]

[Klin] There once was a hedgehog pie,
Who thought he could eat up the sky.
He tried to enact
The whole of this fact,
But presently failed, by and by.

[Link] Hey, could we get a Kulcad spell in here? ... Oh dear.

**"Cindy" draws a black lightsaber, and swipes the air a couple of times.**

Not bad, now, are you going to join the dark side? Or do I get to slice and dice you?