h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

OKOKOKOKOKOK

I know, it's not easy typing with one hand

Shaking hands with the Sheriff.

Cockney rhyming slang Barclays Bank or shortered to Barclays, see Kenneth Williams diaries.

Hand f*****g.

Strip searching the captain.

Winding up the old man. (Probably some link to the old man geyser here somewhere)

DriverChris.

That's the best so far, I almost laughed my cock off. HEY, that would prevent any further........

I always thought "Five-Knuckle Shuffle" was a good one.

"Pocket Pool" for specific times

"Stroking the weasel" also.

If you're interested in the topic, you may want to find a song by The Dickies called "If Stuart Could Talk"

Then there's always "Turning Japanese" by the Vapours as well.

I agree with you FoxyTramp.
I didn't learn to enjoy sex, until I knew what needed attention!
But, on the downside, no one has discussed female over-masterbation!
It can absolutely destroy sensitivity!
I know I'm not the only one- my cousins have all discussed the same phenomena!
Maybe it's the 200 vibrations per second......

She Who Gratifies Gravity.

I would be keen to discuss this, as long as it can be done with taste and not get smutty. I didn't think it was possible to over masturbate, although my optician might not agree. Why should he care, less he thinks I'm gonna end up sawing the bottoms off milk bottles as a cost saving axcercise. Is it different for girls? (There's a Joe Jackson link in there somewhere.)

It is absolutely and utterly possible for a woman to overmasterbate!
Even manually, you begin to lose sensitivity. I would not recommend masterbating to a woman if she is having sex again soon. (that day)
At least, myself and others have discussed this problem.
I cut it down to once a week.
In fact, I find it's better if I don't at all.
Every woman is different just like every man though. We all have varying degrees of sensitivity. I have heard of some men having explosive peaks that happen very quickly.
Other men I have heard have low sensitivity and less strong peaks who can hold out for long periods of time. It can also vary with the frequency in which they masterbate. The upshot with men masterbating is less sensitivity and more control. But, the downside is weaker peaks.
My fiancee and I tried an experiment. We both didn't for 2 weeks, and then had sex. My peaks were incredibly better and I had more of them. My drive was also up.
He also had incredible peaks, but altogether too quickly. After a few days, we both settled back to normal.
I would say more- but this post is entirely too long.
Um, I spoke freely. Dear heavens, please tell me what you could possibly do with a sawed off milk bottle and how it would save money!

She Who Gratifies Gravity.

Sorry if you missed the milk bottle joke.

Here goes, Masturbation - especially excessive - is supposed to turn you blind. Old wives tale!! Therefor, if I masturbated particularly often, I would need increasingly thick spectacles - hence using the bottom of milk bottles as a cost cutting excercise. OK?

Bassman

Whew! And I spent these last five days thinking all kinds of odd kinky things!
No one chastised me for spelling masturbation incorrectly.
Since I am the master of my own body.......

But Bassman, you wanted to discuss the topic "seriously".

Do I get an opinion on what I think?

She Who Gratifies Gravity.

Of course you get a chance to speak seriously. If you don't want the whole world to see you washing your laundry (so to speak), mail me from my home page.

On the lighter side of things - what kinky thoughts about milk bottles LOL!!

Bassman

I was thinking gallon or quart?

She Who Gratifies Gravity.

Nice one L.O.L.

Bassman

What good would this message board do if wego off into private conversations?

She Who Gratifies Gravity.

You're quite right, so fire away here for all to see.

Bassman

OK, you got me....
I'll come find you tomorrow.

Trust a bloke to think in terms of size. A pint milk bottle is enough - or what size are your eyes?

Is a bloke a woman?
It was I! Guilty!
I like large eyes on a man.

Trillian's Child.

I'm deeply offended - we all know it's not the size but what you do with it that matters!!!