h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Instead of discuss,
He would curse, yell, and cuss

Till the cops came and made him move South.

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The magical monarch of Meft

of chin, was strangely bereft

His teeth jutted out

of a face like a trout

And he'd use them to hang off the shelf.

forhesajollygoogfellowforhesajollygoodfellow

In the castle Gormenghast...

(Meft/Bereft/SHELF?)

things have gone quiet at last

Except for some mice

Who enjoyed chocolate ice

[I HAD to put chocolate in there someplace )

at which titus was left quite aghast.

hmmm

A popstar once said to a sheikh,

"I knew Stevens before the shake"

He pronounced 'meft' like 'shelf'

Like a Santa Claus elf.

or one who was barely awake.

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A pub that I liked has been ruined

By kids who are obviously truant



[aside: Peet, that's an awfully
hard last word in terms of finding
a proper rhyme. I fear the last
line will be an awkward tense
involving a pecies of bear ]

They broke all the glass
And the loquour went *SPLASH*

One and two syllable Last Syllable Rhymes of ruined:

almond, auctioned, bargained, bastioned, beckoned, blackened, blazoned, bludgeoned, brightened, broadened, burdened, burgeoned, buttoned, captained, captioned, cautioned, chairmaned, chairmanned, chastened, cheapened, chickened, christened, cleveland, coarsened, cordoned, cottoned, crimsoned, curtained, cushioned, dachshund, dampened, darkened, deadened, deafened, deepened, destined, diamond, dunned, england, errand, evened, fashioned, fastened, fattened, fecund, finland, flattened, freshened, frightened, functioned, fund, gardened, garland, gerund, gladdened, glistened, greenland, gunned, happened, hardened, harkened, harshened, hastened, hearkened, heartened, heightened, highland, hoarsened, holland, husband, iceland, inland, ireland, island, jocund, leavened, legend, lengthened, lessened, lightened, likened, listened, loosened, lowland, maddened, mainland, mentioned, midland, moistened, moorland, motioned, oakland, omened, opened, orphaned, outgunned, pardoned, pensioned, pinioned, poisoned, poland, portioned, portland, punned, questioned, quickened, rationed, reasoned, reckoned, reddened, refund, reverend, ripened, rotund, roughened, ruined, saddened, sanctioned, scotland, seasoned, second, sectioned, sequined, sharpened, shetland, shortened, shunned, sickened, siphoned, slackened, smartened, softened, spavined, stationed, steepened, stiffened, stipend, straightened, straitened, strengthened, stunned, summoned, sunned, sweetened, syphoned, thickened, thousand, threatened, tideland, tightened, toughened, upland, viand, visioned, wakened, wantoned, weakened, whitened, widened, wizened, woodland, worsened, zealand


(Hope that helps, Paul! )

But the worst was the smell from the zoo wind.

[The truest possible rhyme, though quite silly ]

--------------------------------
My socks do not match anymore

One was washed and came out a size four

The blue one got bigger
news to me too Ugi! morning ?