h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

A6780558

They's on to us! Or me, anyhoo. I think what's needed is for the President to get involved in a sex scandal to take the heat off me! I can't go down over sheep.

Jodan - you might have chosen your words a wee bit more carefully

Don't see our Prez helping you out on this one somehow - but you can always ask.

Yes, I regret that

Why not? Presidential sex scandals are fun. Besides the obvious fun part of it, a lot of Presidents have hailed to the sheets. FDR, Harding, JFK, Clinton... Jefferson. Plenty.

Didn't I warn you to lose the lamb?

I really, really look forward to seeing your personal Spinmeister try to put a positive spin on this one. I mean, it is true that other politicians have survived sex scandals, but those scandals have generally involved other humans.

I have responded to the article in . I have done what I can. However, I will not engage in kinky sex just to divert attention from the Vice President. I'm a Grandmother, for Pete's sake.

The solution is to send the VP a broad.

As much as I love to be talked about like I'm not in the room at the time, I shall not go abroad. That is your job, madame Secretary of State

VP Nixon went to South America and got stoned. If he could do it, so can you.

Who's to say I can't get stoned here in Ohio?

"The solution is to send the VP a broad."

* a large box arrives in the VP's suite. The delivery bots removed the outer wrappings to reveal an enormous cake.
Music begins and the top of the cake erupts to reveal a slightly dishevelled showgirl, martini in one hand and party blower in the other, her lipstick not quite still in its original margins.


"Well Hellooo Jodan"
"It's your lucky day, Sugar, someone's just sent you a broad"

*climbs out of cake and totters off, on implausibly high heels, to find the drinks cabinet

"Say - does this Administration _have_ a Drinks Cabinet?"

Uh oh. *looks around wildly* At least there are no photographers.

A shadow with a notepad lurks in the corner

[An even more dishevelled showboy clambers out of the cake wearing an Eastern type costume which displays his well-toned muscles to perfection]

What are you all staring for? Union rules say that you must get a hubba hubba boy whenever you get a girl.

[Lord Hubba Hubba arranges himself into the most flattering pose possible. He smiles and winks at anyone who looks his way.]

Oh dear.

*peers through the door and thinks it would be best if he went back to the library*

Her entrance is signled by the fragrance of musk and......what is that glorious scent......a little something made especially for her by the folks at Chanel....named, appropriately, "Seduction"

She gazes haughily at the Hubba Hubbas. They are perfectly adequate for creating a little scandal, if scandal is the primary intent. To utterly destroy the Vice Presidency however will require a bit more finesse.

She approaches the Vice President. She is tall - nearly as tall as he, even without the four-inch heels. Her well-toned body is encased inside a power suit, grey silk skirt and jacket with a sapphire tailored blouse. Her shoes and belt coordinate with the Gucci valise she carries in one professionally manicured hand. From her impeccably styled red hair to her perfectly applied make-up, everything about her says money and power.

"Excuse me, Mr. Vice President, do you have a moment?" Her voice is soft, yet powerful. "I have a proposition for you."

*The shadow keeps scribbling in the notebook*

Perfect just perfect now who to call first, The Post, the Enquirer or the News of the World

*Clears throat*

I think I should bring this to everybody's attention: F16034?thread=2306435

h2g2 is being invaded! I've already told them to go away, but I think we need to do something more substantial.

What the heckitty-heck is dannywallace?

Perhaps we could challenge them to a fish-slapping duel?