h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Busterbone breaks free of the warp in the space time continuum and miraculously heals completely*

Hmm...an Impenetrable force field. The only way to combat such a thing is with an Unstoppable Force...which I happen to have in my pocket,

*pulls out Unstoppable Force device and pushes button. An unstoppable Force appears which Busterbone lacks the talent to describe*

Unstoppable Force, penetrate that impenetrable force field!!!

*Unstoppable force attempts to penetrate Impenetrable force field.

I wonder what will happen.

*As if in answer to his query a small black hole opens up sucking both the Unstoppable Force and the Impenetrable Force Field into it.*

Uh-oh!

*begins to run, grabbing Arl along the way*

Ha-ha. Success.

*stops when he realises he only has Arls right arm*

Bum!! Pull yourself together man

*Meanwhile the black hole grows ever larger......*

Oh, my. my own hovercraft has begun confusing me. oh, well, I'll just ignore it. now, where was I?

ah, yes, speeding along the beach the wrong way at 120 kph on an absurdly large starfish. well, first thing's first! Turn around.

*the starfish immediately reverses direction, throwing Arty to the sand.*

I should have strapped myself on, shouldn't I have?

*the starfinsh is immediately sucked into the black hole*

Or perhaps not. well, it's down to good, old fashioned walking now...

*Points at Busterbone and laughs, as the mutt is running away carrying a fake arm*



I posted earlier that my body has healed to the point that I'm no longer loosing parts. Although Red Dog's original mangling of my body was a) merely him blowing off steam and b) funny as all h e l l, I really don't like being taken apart on a regular basis, so if we could all be nice and keep my body in pretty much one peice for the rest of this sequence of events, thanks.



Saturn Girl, we'd better get out of here before that black hold sucks us in. Hey, look! There's a black hole proof bunker! And the door's right here!

*Opens the door, leads SG in and locks the door behind them*

Now, I don't really know where they were taking me. Could you bring me up to speed on what, exactly, is going on?

I was hoping you'd be able to bring me up to speed... *looks around, wondering what's in the bunker, and if there's even any light to see by* Do you have any idea why they were taking you away in the first place? All I know is the mutts took you captive, and well, I figured I'd get you back. Past that, I had no plans.

*Looks around and notices a lightswitch. Turns it on and sees that the bunker appears to be filled with Anti-Dog weaponry. Apparently this was built during a prior Dog v. Cat war fought by the ancestors of the soldiers of this generation. A large "Wanted" poster can be seen depicting someone who looks vaguely like he could be Red Dog's great grandfather.*

Well, I was at the armistice celebration serving drinks, and they grabbed me and took me away. I've really got no idea why. I think they're just insane...

*Saturn Girl wanders over to the mess of weaponry, and starts to finger the deadly cool metalic devices. A dog muzzel she picks up by the leash attached to it, and starts to slowly swing it around as she slowly paces along sliding her eyes over the stock pile.*

Hmmm... I wonder if someone was sneaky, and slipped something inside you for safe keeping when patching you back together? Maybe that's why they took you... What should we do from here? I don't want to sit in a bunker for the rest of the war, I was looking forward to a nice dog fur coat.

*spots a nice little knife laying amoung the rest of the junk, and grabs it. With a quick inspection, decides that it'll be a good replacement for all the knives that she lost when knocked out on the beach. She also finds a cross bow with lazer sight... tests it out with a little target practice aiming between the eyes of the mutt on the poster, and nails dead on*

This'll be a nice toy... *finds a holster, and extra arrows, and stores cross bow*

Well, whatever the reasoning behind it... I would suggest you stock up with some weapons to defend yourself with. There seems to be a good number of toys here.

*Discovers a shoulder mounted ACM (Anti-Canid Missile) Launcher with several packs of two ACMs each. Decides it's just too bulky and goes for the writs mounted mini-ACM launchers instead. Loads up with about 27 shots worth of mini-ACMs and straps the wrist-launchers on.*

That idea about hiding something inside me is disturbing. I've just gotten my body back to the point that my parts aren't easily detachable. Whatever is inside me, if anything, I'm hoping it'll stay there.

Hmmm...

*Attempts to psychically recreate the events that happened around him while he was unconscious (ie, read the backlog from before he started posting, which he hadn't done before)*

*a noise is heard outside of the bunker*

DING DONG ..... Hello it`s the Pizza you ordered.

*Looks at Saturn Girl*

I didn't order a pizza, did you?


Hmmm... maybe we should let whoever it is in. They're in danger of being sucked into that black hole out there!

*Gets psychic premonition*

Wait -- it's a trap!

*sounds of muttering and cursing are heard outside the Bunker interspersed with sounds of BBQ Cat pizza being lustily eaten*

.... a while passes a while being several jiffy`s or a few mo`s

*a piece of paper is slid under the door of the Bunker. It reads ...*

`Yoo ar invited next door to a cheeze and whine parti. Bring a Kat. We ar not Dawgz`

*Saturn Girl kneels down, and looks at the paper without touching it. Sees a red dog hair on the edge and shakes head. Puts on a pair of protective gloves (just in case) and slides the paper back out under the door. Then shakes head*

Hmmm... they seem to have us cornered at the moment... Do you know what I did with my transport device? We need to split from here.

*Saturn Girl feels all of her pockets, hoping she didn't loose the transport device.*

Arl, do you know where I put it?

*From next door comes the sound of a really great cat-friendly cheez and whine party interspersed with cries of "Its my turn with the transport device" and "No, its not, its my turn!!" and "Is that a rapidly expanding Black hole or are you just glad to see me"*

Hey, what does this red button on the transport device do??


**Suddenly the bunker is full of Dawgz, many of whom are wearing comical conical hats. All possess champagne glasses, cheese cubes impaled on tooth picks and surprised expressions on their faces.*

Sure gets dark awfully quick round these parts.

*gives arl his arm back*

*sea has become lost in backlog due to decreased free time. she should find her way out within the next week or so*

*we apologize for the inconvenience*

*the cats find themselves outnumbered once more*

anyone?

neat, 2 arl arms.
::tosses backlog fish out through the closed door, looks at the impressive array of weaponry and realises that the "cats" are armed to the teeth.::
um, I took the black hole, and put it in my pocket.
we can all go out now.
::wonders if she brought enough morphine and bandages in case things get hairy...::

::the black hole in her pocket begins to act on the teleportation device. Things get a little hazy~~~oh, oh.
the group is teleported to http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/F74899&thread=135021&skip=220&show=20

along with piles of weaponry...

neat trick


Dancer