h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Is very worried that Busterbone and Red Dog keep jumping on him.*

aww, It only means that they like you. ( You know dogs...)

*Krans stops next to a Harley bike half-buried in the sand, slings it onto the back of his jeep, and drives off again*

*The dog motorcycles continue to roar down the beach. They slow noticeably as they pass the bikini contest, but then speed up as they see Joanna's doughnut stand in the distance.*

*Krans roars along behind them, and opens fire with his jeep-mounted Morning Star Hurler.*

*Krans notices the bikini contest, and thus misses with the Morning Star Hurler*

*from the middle of the Bikini contest Red Dog watches Krans drive past*

heh heh heh heh heh

*wonders where Artenshiur is .... last seen struggling on one of the bikes with the Shiurhud in a shaky pyramid formation*

*Krans's radio beeps*

*an electronic voice says...* Weapons Readout. Reference only. Discounts SOps equipment. Ported: Two Colt 1911 .45cal pistols. One Remington 970 shotgun. One M79 grenade launcher. One Corellian battlepulse rifle. Numerous grenades. Numerous ammunition reload packs. Corellian recharge backpack. Abseiling gear. Belt. Weapon-mounted: Two Corellian bat-cap mk. III plasma cannons augmented with experimental Culture MSV-mounted disruptor system. Two automatic M61 40mm grenade launchers. One .50cal circular chaincannon. Miscellaneous: Explosive: type: C4: 20kg; one DSR-1 .338 Lapua cal sniper rifle*

*the radio pupes up again*... tsscchppf... krans, this is Njan...backup arriving. ETA 12 minutes, comeback, over.

ere, you got a licence for that lot ?

Kit like that is its own license.

*the speeder maintains equidistance of about 20m between itself and the dogs*

*the grenade launchers train on the outer dogs, the chaincannon on the centre. The plasma batteries extend out of the manifolds and train themselves on the whole group*

*loudspeaker voice*

Hand over Arl! Now! I don't want to have to shoot! We can end this peacefully!

*Appears on the horizon in an extremely odd looking hovercraft with his twelve shiurhud clinging to the sides. Wonders how everyone else has such good traction in the sand*

Hello all, sorry about that whole fiasco with the pen and the hologram and whatnot. I am rather new to this... the roleplaying part, that is. I was built for field tactics. That was a nice recovery, though, Njan.

I hate to agree with Njan on anything, but I am pacifist, so I've got to say lets end this peacefully. wait, I can't do that, I'm with the kidnappers. What a dilemma. I suppose I'll have to catch up before making a decision.

*tightens stream on jet engines*

::an artic wolf appears her ice blue eyes darting every where:: Where on Gods green earth did that silly mut send me?

*screams off side of hovercraft*
We've kidnapped Arl, and are trying to keep a plot intact.

(sorry g2g for now) ::just falls asleep hoping "Arty"'ll show up and tell her where she is::

*Saturn Girl decides she's tired of the games... tossing on a raven colored waist length wig, and a tiny little pink string bikini, she poses herself in the way of the pack of mutts, holding a bottle of sun screen in one hand, looking annoyed. She looks directly at the mutt pack and calls out over the roar of the motorcycles.*

Anyone want to be a doll and put some sunscreen on my back?

*flutters eyelashes, and shows off her long legs.*

*giggling*

*Krans finally gets his attention back to the job in hand, and gets a hit with a morning star on Uncle Cuddles' rear tyre*

Eat that, monkey-features!

*Uncle Cuddles' bike careers out of control, and hits a rock, sending him head first into the sand castle*

*UH (it is Heavy rerally not cuddles) recovers and stands up. obviously not need for the moment, he sidles over to the lady quite obviously in distress*

Here, let me help you with that

*Krans realizes he doesn't have any ammunition left for his Morning Star Hurler(tm)*

Ah, bleghgost dar do'onnin spra'arga! Time for the "Butcher's Special"!

*Krans pulls out something that looks like a large fan with a fork in front of it and bolts it onto the rollcage of his jeep. He then pulls a red and white striped carrier bag from under his seat, extracts a huge steak, and attaches it to the fork. Having made these preparations, he pulls a minigun from the seat next to him, starts the barrel spinning, points it in the direction of Red Dog, and starts the fan. The scent of fresh, lean, steak wafts tantalizingly towards Red Dog as he heads towards Saturn Girl*

It's time for a steak-out!