h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Some more Mel Brooks

There must be an easyer way of doing the credits

from robin hood: Men in tights.

Sherrif: Ned any help?

Waco Kid: Oh, all I can get.

from blazing saddles.

'Cigarette?'

'Yes, I know.'

- From every single zucker-abrahams film you care to mention, e.g airplane, police squad, et al.

From Holy Grail (don't know if it's been done yet but I've had it floating about in my head for days)

"There are thos who would call me......Tim."

How about:

'You mangy Scots git! I soiled my armour!'

Its only a rabbit says he....

The hwole holy hand grenade sequence is worth quoting. If I coudl remember it all.

"Pull the pin and count to three. Three shall be the number that thou shalt count, not two and not four..."

Five is way off?

Have we had Jessica Rabbit: "I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way"?

I've got the entire holy handgrenade sequence on mp3....here's a transcript:

Brother Maynard: Armaments, Chapter 2, verses 9-21

Priest: And Saint Atilla raised the handgrenade up on high, saying, "Oh Lord, bless this thy handgrenade, that with it thou mayest blow thy enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy." And the Lord did grin, and the people did feast upon the lambs, and sloths, and carp, and anchovies, and orangutangs, and breakfast cereals, and fruit bats, and livestock..

Brother Maynard: Skip a bit brother

Priest: And the Lord spake saying "First shall thou take out the holy pin. Then thou shalt thou count to three. No more, no less. three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number be reached, then lobbest thou thy holy handgrenade of Antioch toward thy foe, who, being not in my sight, shall snuff it."

Brother Maynard: Amen

All: Amen

Arthur: Right. (Pulls pin) One...two...five!

Knight: Three sir!

Arthur: Three! (Hurls grenade)

Thanks! That's one of my favorite bits of the movie. That and the crowd rejoicing when they ate Sir Robin's minstrels. "Yea."

"When danger reared it's ugly head, he bravely turned his tail and fled..."

"Brave Sir Robin, Sir Robin ran away ...."

Ahhhh *sigh* now I have to go watch all my movies so I can come back and quote them ...

From Head Office:

Guy: "You're certainly f***ing your way to the top"
Lady: "Well I wouldn't be too smart if I was f***ing my way to the bottem would I?"

"If you die I first I am *definitely* going to eat you!" The cannibal in Ravenous. (I know its sick, but I love cannibal humor!)

I feel happy!I'm happy!I'm alive!

"If my calculations are correct,when this baby hits 80 miles per hour you're going to see some serious sh*t."
Christopher Lloyd from Back To The Future

"As they say in Vulcan 'Only Nixon can go to China'".
Mr. Spock to Captain Kirk in "The Undiscovered Country"

"You're mocking me,aren't you?"
Buzz Lightyear to Woody in Toy Story

And there was much rejoicing.

"ok, the aqueducts and the monetary system, but besides THAT what have the Romans given us?"
- from the Life Of Brian

I actually saw a really good french film called daurgtanions daughter which featured all teh muscateers all old and wierd (And sophie marseau) anyway, there were alot of good quotes in it. A particualrly good one was from Aramis when it was discovered that teh plot was to kill teh king.

"Kill the king, thats so outdated" (that is paraphrased though.)

'Feed me Crelbourne, Feed me now' the plant in little shop of horrors.

'It's not my bag baby' Austin powers (1)

'Shagwell by name, shag very well by reputation' Felicity shagwell, Austin powers (2)

'I love you mini me' Dr.Evil in Austin P. (2)

'Hey, I'm walkin' here' Dustin hoffman, Midnight cowboy

'Dodge this' Matrix

'There is no right and wrong, there's only fun and boring' Hackers

'Not so great as your mighty erections I imagine' Three men and a little lady

'Where you goain?
I'm goain to pick a faight' Braveheart

'Wipe yourself off man, you dead' Rush hour

'Hey, laserlips, your mother was a snowblower' number 5 in Short circuit

'Danny?
Yeah, that's my name baby, don't wear it out' Grease

'SHHHHmokin' Mask

'You do know Elvis is dead, right?
Naw, he ain't dead, he just went back' MIB

'This rates about a 9.5 on my 'Weird-Shit'-o-meter' MIB

and finally

'Trust me' Eddie Murphy as Axel Foley

Also from Hoffman in Midnight Cowboy "I'm falling apart here..."