h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Who has the easiest job in America? The guy who does closed captioning for The Playboy Channel...

The "We don't need no stinking badges" line was reprised in Mel Brooks' "Blazing Saddles." Also from that movie:

Madeleine Kahn: "Is it twue what they say about you people?" (A zipper is heard) "Oh, it's twue! It's twue, it's twue!"

Mel Brooks, as the governor: "Hello boys, I miss you" (spoken into his secretary's cleavage)

And more from Mel Brooks:

History of the World, Part I, Mel Brooks as Louis XVI: "It's good to be the King."

Spaceballs, Rick Moranis as Dark Helmet: "What's the matter, Colonel Sanders? Chicken?"

Spaceballs, Mel Brooks, Rick Moranis, and whoever played Colonel Sanders, as Mega Maid steals all of Druidia's air: "Suck, suck, suck!"

Same scene, a bit later, by Colonel Sanders: "She's gone from suck to blow."

A few more quotes.

From Evil Dead II

Ash: Groovy. (did it better than Austin Powers Any Day)

From one ending to Army Of Darkness

Ash: The Name's Ash, Homewares.

From Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Countrey

Chang: Cry Havok! And let slip the dogs of war.

McCoy: I'd give real money if he's shut up.

Back To The Future III

Marty:"Great Scott"
Doc: Yup, this is really heavy.

Sneakers

Actually, the whole end sequence is great but as a good part

River Phoenix: Hi I'm Carl
(Name Forgotten woman): I'm (Name forgotten woman)
James earl Jones: I'm going to be sick.

Clerks, Mallrats and the like

Jay: Snoochie Boochies.

Clerks

Silent Bob: There are a lot of beautiful women in the world. But not all of them bring you lasange at work. Most of them just cheat on you.

"African or European?"

I think Shakespeare said the "Cry Havock" line a few centuries before Chang

And again from Blazing Saddles, Madeleine Kahn sings her torch song "I'm Tired" a la Marlene Deitrich, and incorporates the wonderful line about her men:

"..Theyre comingk and goingk, and goingk and comingk -
And alvays..too soon!"

The man in question was Mandy Patinkin, and (tiny point in case these are added to the Guide entry), the character name is Inigo Montoya - and yes, one of the true all-time classic lines from a much under-appreciated movie - too many think it was made for kids - the humour is far too dry for your average child to appreciate.....

"It's 106 miles to Chicago, we've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses. Hit it."

What else, but the Blues Brothers

Well that'll teach me to post without reading the whole forum. Well done all those out there with good enough taste to get the lines in (and correct).

Blair Witch Project - sorry, worst film I've seen in years. Over-hyped crap. Might have been better without the build-up. So I would argue with including a hysterical girl screaming almost-dead bloke's name as great quote - every horror film known to man includes a similar line.

One true Star Wars classic that should be included, Jedi Master Yoda to Luke in Ep V -

"No! Try not. Do or do not, there is no try."

A fine way to approach one's own life, I've always thought.

And Apocalypse Now - did anyone include "Charlie don't surf!"?

And finally, from the very greatest of "great quote movies", the Princess Bride.

"Get used to disappointment"

I think that should be,

[clop clop clop]
CUSTOMER:"Who's that, then?"
CART MASTER: "I dunno. Must be a king."
CUSTOMER: "Why?"
CART MASTER: "He hasn't got shit all over him."


BEDEVERE: "Tell me. What do you do with witches?"
VILLAGER #2: "Burn!"
VILLAGER #1: "Burn!"
CROWD: "Burn! Burn them up! Burn!..."
BEDEVERE: "And what do you burn apart from witches?"
VILLAGER #1: "More witches!"
VILLAGER #3: "Shh!"
VILLAGER #2: "Wood!"
BEDEVERE: "So, why do witches burn?"
[pause]
VILLAGER #3: "B--... 'cause they're made of... wood?"
BEDEVERE: "Good! Heh heh."
CROWD: "Oh, yeah. Oh."
BEDEVERE: "So, how do we tell whether she is made of wood?"
VILLAGER #1: "Build a bridge out of her."
BEDEVERE: "Ah, but can you not also make bridges out of stone?"
VILLAGER #1: "Oh, yeah."
RANDOM: "Oh, yeah. True. Uhh..."
BEDEVERE: "Does wood sink in water?"
VILLAGER #1: "No. No."
VILLAGER #2: "No, it floats! It floats!"
VILLAGER #1: "Throw her into the pond!"
CROWD: "The pond! Throw her into the pond!"
BEDEVERE: "What also floats in water?"
VILLAGER #1: "Bread!"
VILLAGER #2: "Apples!"
VILLAGER #3: "Uh, very small rocks!"
VILLAGER #1: "Cider!"
VILLAGER #2: "Uh, gra-- gravy!"
VILLAGER #1: "Cherries!"
VILLAGER #2: "Mud!"
VILLAGER #3: "Uh, churches! Churches!"
VILLAGER #2: "Lead! Lead!"
ARTHUR: "A duck!"

BEDEVERE: "What makes you think she is a witch?"
VILLAGER #3: "Well, she turned me into a newt."
BEDEVERE: "A newt?"
VILLAGER #3: "I got better"

HEAD KNIGHT: "Then, when you have found the shrubbery, you must cut down the mightiest tree in the forest... with... a herring!"

A black Sherrif?? Hey it worked in Blazing Saddles _ Robin Hood Men in Tights...

"A man's go to know his own limitations", don't know which film but I think it was a dirty Harry Movie.

"Make my Day" - Clint again

Also

"I ain't got time to Bleed" - Jessie Ventura in Predator
"If it bleeds, we can kill it" - Arnie in Predator

"Flash I love you but we only have 14 hours to save the Earth!" ,Dale in Flash Gordon.

"I don't know what kind of sound I'm looking for, but I'll know it when I hear it." - James Stewart as Glenn Miller in the Glenn Miller Story.

"This oughta take the sting out of being occupied" - Sam in Casablanca, about to enjoy vintage champagne from Rick's cellar.

Wizard Tim ~ "I don't know, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!"
Patsy ~ "How do you know such things"
Arther ~ "I'm the King"

"You've been mostly dead all day"

A great movie that is meant for adults, with it's humor and children with it's fairy tale aspects.

"We came, we saw, we kicked its ass!"
Bill Murray in Ghostbusters.

"It's Groundhog Day!"
Over and over again in the film of the same name.

"I'll teach you the meaning of the word respect!"
Bill Murray in Caddyshack.

"You know, you're more in need of a blowjob than any other white man in the history of the human race."
Adrian Cronauer from Good Morning Vietnam.

About the Blair Witch Project being weak, I put it in there because everytime I turn on the television I see some spoof of that stupid scene from the movie where she is holding the camera too close to her nose and it drove me to the edge. So since I can't figure out why so many people feel the need to copy a dumb scene, then really people must want a dumb line from the movie in their quotes too. Plus I think everyone should be entitled to their own opinion without being attacked for it. As I stated, it is a personal thing and that should be respected.

Now for a new quote, I have one from "Seven" and I think I am getting it right but if it is wrong please feel free to let me know:

"Give someone a library card and they think they're Yoda"--Brad Pitt

Well, I did love it when I was a kid, even though I didn't always appreciate the humor.

Big bad-a-boom!

"I could dance with you till the cows come home. Then again, I could dance with the cows till you come home." - Groucho Marx to Margaret Dumont (Duck Soup?)