h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

'You have offended my family,,,,,
you have offended the Shaolin Temple'

- Bruce lee - enter the dragon - just before beating the sh* out of Han.

Now come on. Our Gwen does not manage to keep it up, even if it is quite convincing from scene to scene. Most guys don't notice first time because they are too busy thinking about what they'd like to but into her mouth, rather than what's coming out of it.

And Mr Myers grew up in Liverpool, before moving to Canada, which might go some way to explaining his versatility. And can we count Canadians out of the American contingent please - they are pretty decent people, and tend to pay a little more attention to the world around them than the average (everyone shout U-S-A) American.

Marines: This is my rifle. There are many like it but this one is mine. My [chanting] rifle is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. Without me, my rifle is useless. Without my rifle I am useless. I must fire my rifle true. I must shoot straighter than my enemy, who is trying to kill me. I must shoot him before he shoots me. I will. Before God I swear this creed; my rifle and myself are defenders of my country, we are the masters of my enemy, we are the saviors of my life. So be it, until there is no enemy, but peace. Amen.

First of all, it is in the H2G2 rules to avoid making bigoted comments.

Secondly, you have no experience at all about America, so your information is nothing but the furtherance of an idiotic stereotype, based in no part on fact.

Lastly: F**k you.

"Wake up. Time to die." Leon to Deckard in BladeRunner.

Oops. Just saw that one above. How 'bout this:

"Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun." Bruce Campbell as Ashe in Army of Darkness.

Tom Hanks as the title character in Forrest Gump: "Stupid is as stupid does." and "Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get."

And from Full Metal Jacket (same movie that marine chant was pulled from):
Joker: How can you shoot women, and children?
Helicopter gunner: Easy! You just don't lead 'em so much!

More quotes just in my head.

Wagons east,

Cavalry Chief: OK lets kill some people.

Godzilla (The new one)
Woman: It's Gojira you Idiot.

Beavis and Butthead do America

Beavis: I am Cornholiooooooo

South Park: Bigger Longer and Uncut

Cartman: YOU WILL RESPECT MY AUTHORATAA

"Luke, I am your father, eh!" Rick Moranis in Strange Brew.

"They killed Fritz! Those stinking yellow faries!" Guard in Wizards

Another good rick moranis is

Dark Helmet "I am your father's mother's brother's sister's cousin's former rommate"

Lone Star "So what doe sthat make us?"

Dark Helmet "Absolutely Nothing, which what you're about to become"

from the classic Spaceballs

from the same film

"You call that a Radar"

nope, we call it, Mr. Coffee"

How many @$$holes do we have on this ship?

"There's only one man who would dare give me the raspberry...."

may the schwartz be with you...

Merchandising!

Spaceballs the Beermat...Spaceballs the toilet paper....

"How come nobody told me my ass was so big."

I've lost the beeps, I've lost the sweeps and I've lost the creeps.

...You watch a movie and take notes when a good line pops up, to share in a forum like this. All of these come from Something About Mary:

"Maybe getting your dick stuck in your zipper is the best thing that ever happened to you." Chris Elliot

"Those goofy bastards are the best thing I have going for me." Matt Dillon, talking about "working with retards."

"Well, that's what you're looking for, eh? A farter?" Lee Evans, the dude who played Tucker, the alleged cripple.

"Tell me you flog the dolphin before a big date!" Chris Elliot

"I'm in town to play the Dolphins you dumbass." Brett Fav...re...

Another marine quote I heard a long time ago - it apparently was their morning prayer and went...

Yea, thought I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for I am the biggest, baddest, meanest motherf* in the valley.

Ooh - something I forgot from earlier:

"I have a head for business and a body for sin - is there anything wrong with that?" (Melanie Griffith from Working Girl)