h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

And I shall have a cup of very strong tea, a bacon sarnie and the VPB.

Hi Lil!

How goes it?

Having any effect on that orang outang?

I've been under cover for the h2g2 police. Very hush - hush.

Hello Ook....no....no.no....leave that alone!

*coughing fit begins*

Hi Lil

I'm a bit rusty - i tried to post and it landed in a thread by itself

I think

How are things, anyhow?

Whats been going on?

Tea and VPB please IIEM

What is going on?

My words of wisdom keep missing the thread!!

Dont Panic

Wheres B-17 when you need him?

Help!!!

Hello? can anybody hear me?

Hi, Unch we're still in the same thread.

Thanks ox, i was on the verge of swearing.

Hello, nice to meet you, thank you for finding me, who are you, who am i, why do men have nipples, why do my milk always run out, where has everyone gone, why is a mouse when it spins, still a little disorientated.......

ooh is that my cigar?

Gee, Unch...I guess I can answer:
I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know, and especially, I don't know.

It's nice to meet you and no, that's not my cigar. I was smoking one at Greebo's and she poured water on me. I'm staying smokeless for a while!

Here, ox, take my VPB. its a virtual patio bubble and lets you smoke in the cafe without Irv giving you a sharp glance.

And have one of these =======

They're Dominican, very rich, moist fat flavoursome stogies.

Dont let that orang outang near the VPB though.

Here, let me light it for you __*

Hmmm...thanks, but I'll enjoy it later when I'm not in the Cafe. Did you remember that Ook is blue? He's outside right now on the boardwalk taking all comers in a shell game.

Suit yourself.

I dont recall that, no.

I bet he wallops them all. I used to play a pretty mean game myself, but im not sure what rules Ook plays by. Does he play Matanuske Crab Shell Doubling.......

*falls asleep in chair*

IIEM (Infinite Improbability Espresso Machine)? I need IIAM (Infinite Improbability Alchohol Machine). Do you want me to go home and get mine?

Sorry ducky, Irv runs a non-alcoholic coffee shop here. But if you have an IIAM, you should start a pub!

*slips behind counter and changes filters on IIEM* After that spam order I think we could do with a cleanup, here...

IIEM, a Lazy Cat please *testing*
*IIEM produces a perfect drink*

*floating in as herself again*

Hi all/anyone?!

IIEM, a caffe latte to go, please!

Got to go, bye...

*drifting off*

Stupid question for you. How do I go about starting a pub in this here area, and how do I get people to come in?

Ducky, you could try asking Kasia, she's running the Crossed Purposes pub where the Halloween party is. Her pub was started a couple of months ago, and she's managed to make a success of it...

Thanks Titania.

...and of course planning a pub of your own gives you a perfect excuse for visiting all the other pubs at h2g2...

Have you tried the Forum & Firkin, or the bar at Foxy Manor?

*enters seeing everybody asleep*

Mornin' all!

Coffee please, IIEM.

*jongle*
*looks at doorbell, shakes head*

Morn' anybody...

*makeup from saturday night still visible*

IIEM: Coffee, double, strong, now. Thanks
*drinks coffe*

Mornin' JAR!

Make-up? You had a rough weekend?