h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*an almost painfully clean café meets your eye*

*in the windows, the heavy drapes of winter have been replaced by airy drapes of lime green*

*vases filled with tulips are strategically placed on tables and window panes*

*the windows are open, and outside you can hear the happy chirping of birds greeting the spring*

*The Deep Purple sofa is looking a bit rattled after the recent attack of the cleaning bot*

*The IIEM (the Infinite Improbability Espresso Machine) is slowly recovering from the cleaning frenzy. It now knows how to talk, and if you ask it nicely it'll serve you any hot or cold, caffinated, decaffinated, or anti- caffinated drink of your choice - as long as it doesn't contain alcohol...*

*The pianola in the corner is patiently waiting*

*On the counter you'll find a tray of freshly baked and still warm cinnamon buns, courtesy of Matina the maidbot c/o Lil's Atelier*

You might occasionally catch a glimpse of something blue in the rafters - that'd be Ook the blue orangutang who is, I'm sure, happy to beat you in scrabbles any day!

A note from the proprietor, Irving Washington:
No smoking inside, please, unless you are fitted with a Personal Patio Bubble (PPB).

*wanders in after a mighty war with a certain bot*

IIEM may I have a coffee with caramel syrup please..

*flops down on a bean bag*

*pound pound pound*

*The door swings open and Witty bursts in.*

Hey! Didn't y'all hear me in post 1660?

*IIEM produces a coffee with caramel syrup served in a large shiny cup with a 'Z' boldly carved into its side*

Z!

*Takes the coffee in a large shiny cup*

OUch... it's made of, well something that transmits heat.

*wraps sleave around cup and begins to drink it that way..*

Ah - sorry, no - we didn't hear your pounding Witty, probably due to all the error messages that keep popping up...

...anyway, count yourself lucky you weren't in the café while the cleaning bot was active...

*cleverly neogitates three evil looking error messages to offer WM a stylish looking leather sofa*

Oh, that would explain why the door was locked. It's wise to take every precaution. I got sucked into that machine once. I did come out squeaky clean, though.

IIEM, may I have a Kona, black, please?

*Takes and sits at a table.*

IIEM a cup of please.

*sits down and relaxes*

Sorry, Z, I didn't see you there. Dang server errors.

IIEM could you refill my rather attractive looking mug please?

WM don't worry..

Z and the Stepson of Ben are playing computer games which seem to involve violently killing each other..

IIEM, a cup of plain old Colombian, please.

[Mog] IIEM, the usual.

[IIEM] You mean a half blueberry italian cream soda with whipped cream on top, the other half consisting of --

[Mog] No, the other!

[IIEM] Ah, right: a triple espresso with an extra shot of espresso, and a shot of espresso on the side (with an extra shot of espresso). And make it strong this time.

[Mog] Er, right.

*trips over a poxy server error on her way in from the tunnel*

*blinks rapidly at the increased light levels and shiny, sparkly surfaces*

The first camellia blossom has opened so a new thread is well timed

IIEM, just a please.

IIEM, a - thanks... *grabs the vanilla latte and heads for the porch, where she sits down next to the Venus statue to enjoy the sunshine, trying not to notice the melting spots of snow*

*Washes up - Not much to do in a nice, new thread*
*Puts v/_\3 on*

I seem to have a few articles on Halloween on the front page at the moment. How romantic for Valentine's Day

<BB<

Halloween romantic? How?

A please, if you'd be so kind BB!

Well, it's about as romantic as most Valentines Day cards on sale these days. They're all sex obsessed, and many of the Halloween films mention sex.
*Hands over*

<BB<

Thanks! *sips thoughtfully*

I don't see it quite that way - but, on the other hand, in Finland you send Valentine cards to your *friends* and - since I've got Finnish parents, I guess that's how I regard Valentine - a 'friendship' day rather than 'love' day...

[Still shot of a heart-shaped box of chocolates on either end of a circular table, with a bowl of candy hearts and for some reason a pineapple in the middle. Then cut to Mog.]

[Mog] So far so good!