h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Pair of socks and a bottle of Hi Karate for me.


(ok, I need some ideas)

Hmm... It's a toss up. It's either the set of disposable razors from my step grandmother's sister. These were bad for several reasons. 1st, it's just not what you want in a present. Secondly, and more importantly, is that she was on a fixed income and the thought of her trying to find affordable presents from the drugstore was just saddening. She was a sweet lady, but we weren't that close so I really expected nothing from her. After that I always went out of my way to get her something nice.


The other worst gift came from my step grandmother's daughter's family. A pair of Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer briefs (y-fronts).

My sister likes to give me wood or metal puzzles, where you have to unlink them and then link them together again.

She either thinks I like them because I like crosswords, etc, or she deliberately buys me them so she can show off her superior spatial awareness and dexterity when I admit I can't do it - she's really good at them, but I am generally better at paper-based puzzles than she is...

Someone always used to buy my partner Walnut Whips for Christmas because they thought she once said she liked them, but she was never really keen and just quietly gave them away

Aaargh - I had forgotten (or rather had boxed up in my memory) about the Christmas underpants my cousin once gave me... I presume my cousin must have thought I would like them, but I really disliked the idea of someone I wasn't that close to thinking they would know what I was wearing under my clothes

too many to recall I fear.

I think a set of bagpipes had to be particularly odd, I think they're still in the loft somewhere
'Christmas socks' - ones so itchy and thin, and sizes too small
Aftershave.
For soem reason people used to buy me aftershave; something I've never used; for several years I got into the habbit of recycling them, and sendin g them to my Brother; who also didn't use them; who would recycle by sending them back to me, the following Christmas... I think we eventually got boared of the swap and I can't remember who was left hodling all the bottles of aftershave... he was I think ,erm>

they're the most stand-out ones I can recall

A toy car set when I was 17.

<BB<

Bagpipes!?

I have no discernible musical talent, so I'd probably enjoy trying to learn how to play bagpipes.

My mother had a tendency to give my things like dustbusters, flashlights, or fire extinguishers. She probably got them at 70% off sales. I knew she was worried about my wellbeing, but is Christmas the best time to show that?

Her best gift was a warm woollen cap that she knitted for me herself. I treasure it. It's warm in cold weather.

The worst present ever was one we would have enjoyed. My brother-in-law sent us a ground coffee selection and a box of After Eight mints. Unfortunately he didn't give enough thought to the packaging. The coffee was fine, but the mints were so battered and smashed that you couldn't get them out of their little envelopes.

The moral of this is: If you want to send chocolates through the post, put them in a stiff box first.

Friend of mine gave me a calendar once.

Calendars can be mixed blessings. If you love the pictures, you're in luck. If not, it's just a reminder that time is rushing by.

My worst presents list comes accompanied with embarrassing memories of me being an ungrateful git so personally I'd prefer not to think about it

I think the most memorable one was both myself and my sister both getting the same black leather briefcase one year when we both just looked at each other when we opened the parcel and the look of silent disgust between us was palpable....

My Dad, who'd clearly been very proud of this present was none the wiser on the day.

A few months later I struck up the courage to tell him that neither of us liked it.

We were (roughly) 18 and 15 yo at the time. Probably not the best age to be getting your kids a present like that to be honest, but hey, it was well meant.

He was visibly upset and my sister was a turncoat, professing to disagree - the little liar.

I regretted telling him so immediately.

Some years later I discovered its utility and found that it was actually, extremely bloody useful. I still have it. I told him this too and apologised.

This still makes me uncomfortable if I'm honest.

It's always well meant, so keep schtum and they probably hate your presents to them.

But you were honest, and later you apologized. I think on some level your father must have respected you for that

I've just had my day made by someone in the family via facebook.

It says so much and so little (this may be UK-centric)

He's up in Durham visiting his elderly mother amd showing a photo displaying his 'Crimbo' gifts.

An Old Spice gift set and A Last of the Summer Wine DVD.

'thanks Mam'

Just delightful on so many levels

I have received, along with my parents, and my siblings and their partners, some very odd gifts, but I don't know if we were supposed to enjoy them or if she just didn't care a bit.
So I'm not sure we qualify.

But I'm still going to tell you the best one.
It's not the worst, by far, but it definitely is the funniest.

At Christmas eve dinner, she tells us she went to a tombola the month before and she won really nice things, namely : a bottle of champagne, a bottle of brandy, and a beautiful book with pictures of the area.

Come Christmas morning, present opening starts. My dad gets a bottle of champagne, by Brother-in-law gets a bottle of brandy, and I get a beautiful book with pictures of the area.


We've been getting clearly recycled gifts for years, including complimentary stuff you get when you travel with a tour operator (bags with the name of the operator on it, things like that).

It's a good conversation subject once she's gone.

"It's always well meant, so keep schtum and they probably hate your presents to them."


Nobody hates MY gifts.

A couple of years ago when their popularity was booming, I bought my adult son and daughter both a ukulele.

This was, in retrospect a really bad idea. How do I know?

Well, they bought me one too and although it is a beautiful thing, I've never really played it.

PP.

I once got a plastic dinosaur toy when I was 14.

Same problem - I haven't changed much in the last 2 years, but my 3 year old nephew has changed a lot.

I think this all just goes to highlight, basically, that, in essence, my stance of giving presents, is correct... basically I just odn't bother... if people want stuff they can get it... then they'll get just what they want... thesedays I useually just throw money or vouchers in the direction of people that I still buy for, as its so dificult otherwise to knwo what to get hmm. I must start Christmas shopping this week I guess...

Every year I feel less competent at choosing gifts.