h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

That's great, Broelan.

I'm at a good place now. I like being a consultant, to give specialist help to the customer, and not worry about big company issues (organization, finances, what ever...) I feel confident about what I do, and feel appreciated.
My only complaint at the moment is the man in the center of the office landscape who constantly talks. If not on the phone, to all his colleagues, about work or socializing. Endless commenting.

The worst work was when I sat half the week in a cell culture lab of 3 by 3 meters. Double doors to the rest of the colleagues. Alone. Bored. Inadequate. Company was going down, so spirits were low generally. At that time, my first major depression hit.

I have worked for a company that gave promotions based on who could yell loudest.

The next job was better. The Store Manager was an idiot, but all the other managers and supervisors were fine. One of the managers had a fantastic sense of humor and used it often, especially on boring weekend shifts.

Current job involves both endless paperwork and customer service. I'm trying to work out the positive.

One summer I was working as an office temp for a charity. My pay slip had arrived, so I opened it, looked at it, put it back in the envelope and right at that moment my boss yelled for me to get over there, so I just popped the pay-slip in my desk drawer and ran. The next day I was called in to see HR and my boss. They wanted to give me a pay-cut. Someone had 'realised' how much I was being paid and objected (for the record, it wasn't that flippin' much). Because my boss was rubbish at dissembling and was clearly flustered and upset, it took two repetitions of 'what do you mean, "realised"?' for him to confess a coworker had seen my put my pay-slip in my desk drawer, had fished it out, and read it. And I got a pay-cut. And she didn't get fired from an enormous cannon right across the Thames.

Apparently, she objected to my being paid so much because 'it made her feel undervalued'. She was still getting paid £10000 p/r than me. And up until that point, I had quite liked her.

It massively 'improved' the office atmosphere, of course. Which was already a soup of malicious gossip, back-biting, feuding, and passive-aggressive note-leaving. It was like being back at boarding-school with a gaggle of 14-year-olds. People were actually having weeks-long fights with other offices about using the photocopier too much. As if people were photocopying interdepartmental memos for fun. As I was new, and a temp, people used to drag me aside to 'warn' me about other people. The boss's second-in-command was having a slow-motion nervous breakdown (really did go off sick with stress for six months just after I left). One of my coworkers used to get drunk at lunch-time at least twice a week. I honestly preferred digging potatoes in the snow.

"I honestly preferred digging potatoes in the snow" [Agapanthus]



I'm guessing that the supervisors didn't excel at handing out praise. I remember a particularly awful time when my two fulltime assistants were cut to parttime due to budget cuts. They worked different shifts as a result, so they were never there at the same time. They took to disputing then locations of their desks, which were next to each other. When one wasd there, she would push the other's desk further away. When the other one arrived, she would push her desk back to where it was. I wonder if this helped cause my nervous breakdown?

"When one wasd there, she would push the other's desk further away. When the other one arrived, she would push her desk back to where it was"

Reminds me of the shared desk pulling scene in the Terry Gilliam film, Brazil

If the Terry Gilliam film happened after 1982, then Gilliam must have found out about my situation. Should I ask for recognition, or does it no longer matter?

1985 as it happens ... might be worth a bit of litigation if you can prove your desk incident

OK, here's a link to the scene... look familiar ? http://www.youtube.com/watch?gl=GB&v=mS5WLkb_Cxk

"1985 as it happens ... might be worth a bit of litigation if you can prove your desk incident" [winnoch2]

I was kidding. There is no way I want to revisit that period of my life. I'm sure there are plenty of other desk-moving employees in the world.

Trust, autonomy, fair criticism and fair praise. I've had a couple of jobs like that. I've also had to work in a fair few banks, and I'd never go back to that. My fellow staff were great, but I cannot stand targets that make no sense (yes, sure I'll try to sell mortgages to pensioners who have *already paid theirs off*) and working with the angry public (because who goes into a bank these days unless they have a problem?).

My most disappointing time was when I managed, by sheer luck and fluke, to be taken on as a musical instrument repairer. The job itself wasn't disappointing, it was the fact that I just wasn't very good at it that was disappointing. On the plus side, I can now say I've tried it, that I know more about myself, and that I shouldn't attempt similar jobs again. Stick to people. And administration. I'm good at both of those.

The year Janice and Jimi died, I found myself picking grapes near Orange, in the South of France. I wasn't doing it for fun - I needed the 30-odd francs daily to buy a ferry ticket home.

On sloping land, the work wasn't too hard on the back, and after a few days, I managed to keep up with the locals.

We slept in a barn and used ice-cold water from a large barrel for washing. We were driven to work on the back of a tractor every day before the sun was up. The entire lunch break was taken up with eating and drinking wine... progress was somewhat slower afterwards.

When the grapes were all gone, we were sent to gather tomatoes, most of which were low-lying. I don't really want to talk about that - it was too painful. I remember squishing tomatoes between our hands for soap, before returning to the farmhouse for lunch.

I'll have to go back one day.

I dislike growing and picking tomatoes as a job, doesn't matter which country I have been in it has always been a minging job. On the plus side, well, different countries

I have a working arrangement.

I have a desk on a site owned by a totally different business unit to the one I work for. I'm a consultant. The site is...industrial. It shows both in the shabby working conditions and the attitudes of most of the (white collar) people around me. It's in a shite part of the city - in the morning I pass people queing at the chemists for their methadone. We used to be in a nice city-centre office which allowed us to go out at lunchtime, go to the pub after work. I could go by bus or train whereas now I have to drive.

Also...I report to someone down in England. Just me and someone else here report to her - but the other guy is in a separate office. I pass him in the street now and again. And my boss reports to someone else in our main department elsewhere.

The worst things are:

- The bleakness.

- The lack of sociability: I'm surrounded by complete tubes.

- I work best when there's someone to bounce ideas around with and I seldom get to do that.

know what you mean Ed. I've worked with... er how to put it tactfully. OK, dullards. Regardless of the job, it is 1000x better if you can have some intelligent banter with your work mates, and 1000x worse if last night's happenings on Eastenders is the intellectual height of the conversation.

I remember a job I had in such a situation, well. I used to feel my brain shrinking day by day and there was an actual physical *hunger* growing in my head to hear one, just one thoughtful, funny, erudite, or smart conversation. It's hard to explain. The work itself was OK, but i felt so alone as nothing I said was understood by the dullards and I couldn't join in with their banter as I had no idea what they were talking about either (sport, soaps, celebs...)

Banter about Eastenders would be a blessing. Football, even. All they do is mutter.

And the worst of it is that I know enough about occupational psychology to enumerate the precise ways in which it's soul destroying.

"I know enough about occupational psychology to enumerate the precise ways in which it's soul destroying."

I've depressed myself now. It's just about manageable provided I can convince myself that it's normal.

I won't go into detail, but one of the reasons I log into h2g2 from work is so I have some contact with intelligent people.

"I won't go into detail, but one of the reasons I log into h2g2 from work is so I have some contact with intelligent people" [Witty Moniker]

Amen to that!