h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hi Tigerlily,

My wife had a caesarean with both of our children. The recovery from a caesarean is a little longer than with a natual delivery. Of course, that does not take into account your size, the size of the baby, your body's ability to delivery, and a host of other variables. But back to the question, my wife's first caesarean was a breeze, an epidural, cut, out came the baby, staple her closed. She felt nothing, just laid there holding my hand. The second caesarean the epidural did not take, so there was pain until they gave her a general, then she was out, they cut, out popped a baby they stapled her closed and she slept off the drugs. Sounds a lot better that natural.

Mostly.

Mmmmm, yes Mostly Harmless, that's what I'm beginning to think. The idea of screaming and grunting and pooing my way through what could be hours seems less and less appealing. Did your wife opt for the op or was it for medical reasons?

Tigerlily,

She opted for the operation. She has small hips and therefore natural childbirth could be very difficult. So I guess you could said it was also for medical reasons. A Brazilian friend of my said that most of the babies born in Brazil are caesarean, that way the doctors don’t miss their tee time.

Mostly

I've heard that in America, many more births are Caesarean than in the UK and Ireland. The reason I'm told is that although Caesarean birth is higher risk to the mother than normal birth, it is a fixed risk which the doctors consider to be acceptable, so no doctor will get sued for recommending a Caesarean. With a normal birth there can be complications which make it more dangerous than Caessarean, but it ususally isn't. The average woman can go home the next day and is well and able to look after the baby, while a woman with a caesarean is an invalid recovering from an operation, and should take things easy for a couple of weeks, not the best thing when you have a newborn baby to deal with. General Anasthetic can have many complications: if you are anyway asthamatic, you will be in serious trouble with water build-up in your lungs.

Go for natural birth, with epidural if you like. Let the doctors advise you there are complications that require a Caesarean, but don't pick it as the easy option.

I'd seriously seriously consider a cesearean (it's your choice, in the end) but, you know, the grunting and groaning and (possibly) pain is a very short time in the grand scheme of things (says she who had a total of about 5 hours painful labour in total for 2 babies!). I wouldn't have missed those first 2 hours with the baby for anything (took the mind of other things) and if you don't have all the screaming, the poo, the midwife pusing the baby out from the top (happened with my first) you won't have any great anecdotes!!! That's why I did it. Stuff the "Earth Mother" stuff. I like to be a bit of a raconteur, and the pregnancy/birth/baby stories are always good for a laugh!!
How you doing, anyway? DON'T FORGET THE PELVIC FLOOR MUSCLES. (yes, and I was shouting that, it's sooooooooooooo important. Otherwise, afterwards, laugh in public at your peril )

Lots of advice there. And most of it good. The big thing to remember is to make sure you're comfortable. If you don't want a home birth, don't worry. If breast feeding is difficult, don't do it. It is best, but our daughter is perfectly healthy on formula.

Oh, and relax.

Congrats

Lots of people will tell you different things from personal experience. But remember that the doctors have worked out what is best in the majority of cases:

On average, it is safer and better to breastfeed.
On average, it is safer in hospital.
On average, it is safer to have natural rather than Caesarian birth.

There are lots of circumstances which may make the first and third of these not true if they happen (eg breast abscess, breach birth with waters breaking too soon) but you'll know about them when they happen.

A female gynaecologist friend of mine says that she (and most of her female colleagues) will opt for an elective (planned) Caesarean.

- Adam

Tigarlilly,

I had Caesarean for both of my children. I did not opt for the operation the first time I went into Labor 18 days early, My son was placenta starved and the cervix did not open I was so pleased when the doctor said we will take this baby out. The second time I decided not to put a baby through that much stress.

When it is important for the baby the recovery time It does not matter.

Love from two healthy happy adult sons and Moondancer

Thanks once again to all who have contributed to my thread. I must say I'm really stuck on the fence here with the natural v caesarean debate. The idea of a natural birth disgusts and terrifies me at the same time where as the idea of a major operation and the recovery time involved with the second option is just as off putting. I'm going to see my midwife again at the beginning of December so I think I'll talk it through with her and see how I feel then.
At the moment I'm trying to get used to my growing 'bump'. I have a really posh 'do' this Saturday and need to buy something to wear. I'm finding that maternity wear available in stores is generally designed for the more mature woman - i.e. extremely unfashionable and I don't think my bump is big enough to quite credit the generous flowing lines of a maternity tent - I mean dress. 'Normal' cut clothes just don't hang right and I don't want to part with a lot of money for an out fit that will fit me this weekend but not next month or when I (hopefully) loose the weight and get back into my lovely size 10 clothes. Oh the trials and tribulations of being pregnant!

With regards to the natural v ceasarian debate. I'm not sure you get a choice. The NHS seem to be concerened that many people are pressurising midwives for a section because they 'don't want to push', so unless there is a valid reason for it, they probably won't do it.
It's the same situation with inducing, doctors feel pressurised by parents and do things that may not be necessary. In my local hospital, inducements are running at 80%.
For the pain, epidurals appear to be a godsend, but pethdin (sp?) makes you feel sick and a tens machine is only really effective in the first stages of labour.

Do you have a posh square shawl with a fringe? Tie it at the back so that you get a long point down over the bump and tie bits of the fringe together to conceal your underwear at the back also. You'll need help getting unknotted later.Wear a drawstring skirt or palazzo pants underneath.
Or look for thin stretchy knits in your normal size or a kaftan you can wear as a dressing gown? Can you tell from the hippyish tone of this that my sons were born in the early seventies? (Both Caesars by the way, the first after nearly four days in labour and the second elective)

Can you sew? You can get these stretchy panel things to sew onto an existing (or new) pair of trousers or skirt. Basically you remove the bit that covers the bump (side-seam to side-seam and straight across the bottom of the bump) then you sew the panel in. It's good at the beginning bump stage, because usually the rest of you (boobs excepted, probably) is the same size as usual. Also, like trainer bras, the stretchy bit grows with you. Then you just have to wear something a bit long to cover the panel. (the shawl idea is great, I did that, and it was only 4 and 2 years ago - also those shawl type tops are really "in" right now, or have they gone out again already?)
I also liked really clingy stretchy crushed velvet (especially towards the end) I was proud of my bumps, but have to admit that, when you show them off like that it is too easy to become a walking bump - everyone assumes you only have babies on your mind)

Get a good pair of black elasticated trousers and wear your favourite blouse loose over the top. Dungarees are fun, if they're still in. I had a pair of corduroy dungarees in maroon which were really nice but didn't grow to my maximum size. Get something wrapover. Won't it be a bit chilly now for just wearing a fringe?

Yes,I'd forgotten you were in the northern hemisphere.It's still a good evening look. The stretchy panel's brilliant. It's worth going to a Quickstitch type place if you don't sew and haven't got anyone in your immediate circle who does.
I think kaftan's are good for cold weather because you can put woollies underneath. I had one made last year for New year's Eve - purple velvet with bursts of silver sequins on. Another really easy sewing job. Hope you find something stunning.

There is a company called blooming marvellous (URL removed by moderator)
who certainly used to do good maternity wear. I used to just buy loose fitting clothes from the chain stores, and I bought from a charity shop a couple of men's jeans with generous waistlines which I modified with a belt as required. Menfolk (partners, brothers etc) can be quite a good source of loose fitting tops.

I have to say, though, that buying clothes in bigger sizes is ok at the beginning, but generally maternity clothes are much better. More comfortable (usually they don't have seams going round or up and down the bump - which is important later on) and they don't just hang, they are generally contoured. You're lucky to be pg right now with all the great stretchy lightweight fabrics around. Some well tailored blouses (which have side ties so you can let them out bit by bit) and some good trousers and skirts should be ok, because then if you get a bit chilly (and you have one) a baggy cardigan which you already have could go over the top.
Anyway, are you doing the pelvic floor exercises????????

If you buy any books about pregnancy and child rearing read them
then throw them away and do it all your own way.Ignore everybody especially when they give you contradictory advice and take everything your mother/mother-in-law/aunties/sisters/cousins
tell you with a heaped teaspoon of salt.Health visiters are useful when it comes to petty ailments and if you are ever worried about you or your babies health DO see a doctor.Otherwise there is no right way to bring up a baby but your way.Now ignore my advice-because as soon as that precious,tiny,blanketed bundle is placed in your arms you will cease to be a rational human being and you will be prey to all sorts of fears and terrors-it's what all parents have in common.Don't panic 'cos there is no manual.Just resolve to do your best as I had to eventually.

Shouldn't babies come with a dust cover which says just that:

"Don't panic"

What a good idea...

** note to the h2g2 marketing department **
Baby-gro things with "don't panic" on the front - they'll go like hotcakes, trust me (for starters, we'll all be buying them for Tigerlilly!!!)

About conflicting advice:
Everyone has their own ideas, but instinct is the best thing. Don't ignore warning signs (eg. fever in itself isn't really a Bad Thing - but usually it's a sign of something else. When that something else is teething - all well and good. Dose of Calpol - or whatever - and lots of hugs & cuddles. If it could be something like - DON'T PANIC when you read this word, but know the symptoms off pat - meningitis, then go to hospital. If you suspect meningitis - or other serious illness - and you don't feel you're being taken seriously, do what my friend did in the middle of a busy A&E. She shouted very loudly that she suspected Meningitis and that the doctors/nurses were treating her like a hysterical mother. She was seen immediately, meningitis diagnosed and her daughter made a full and complete recovery. Mum always knows best. Always.)

And don't forget that if you're on maternity leave, maternity leave is a job too. Playing with your baby isn't "fun". It is serious mothering. So it comes higher up the list than everything else except feeding, sleeping and nappy changing. Ironing is number 5,736 on the list, for those who are interested!