h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Tiger Lily,

I'd rather see you in a bikini than Kate Moss any day. Ms Moss is disgustingly thin. The word slim does not come close. Emaciated is a better description. You won't look anything like her after you've had your baby.

May I suggest that you choose your baby's name very carefully, so that you don't end up with a joke name, such as Tara McAdam, Justin Case or Annette Curtin.

Tiger for a boy, Lily for a girl?

Name a child H2G2?! That's outrageous, although come to think of it the names we've chosen do begin with H and G - Harry and Georgia - spooky!!
Lily's a pretty name but we've already got a cat (my first baby) called Lily so that's out of the question.
And thanks Gnomon, but there seriously can't be any woman that wouldn't want to be as thin as Kate Moss - or am I really alone here? So she could do with filling out a bit and gaining a few pounds here and there. Just think of the fun you would have putting that extra weight on!!
H2G2 Weight Losers club - book me in for the end of May!!

Absolutely no criticism intended, but I think that, given Potter-mania, there may be quite a few Harrys around in the next few years. Still, at least you haven't chosen Hermione, Hogwarts or Muggle!

Think of the poor thing in years to come when he's trying to knock a few years off his age, almost impossible if you give him a 'popular' name.

What usually happens is that girls get wonderful imaginative names while boys get given boring ones. In Ireland, the same 20 names have been the most popular for naming boys since 1950. People are reluctant to use anything imaginative for a boy because he might feel out of place in later life. Let's face it, he's going to feel out of place no matter what you call him.

Another thing that happens to boy's names is that they gradually become girl's names. The names Francis, Lindsay and Aubrey are becoming rare because they sound like Frances, Lindsey and Audrey. Nobody would want to give a boy a name that might be confused with a girl's name! It would be as bad as dressing him up in pink. And names which were never girl's names may become so when somebody famous uses them. Alexis is one example. Joan Collins played a woman called Alexis in Dynasty many years ago. Ever since, it has been considered a girl's name. The same happened further ago with Hyacinth and Shirley, two (then) respectable boy's names.

...in which case I pity all the big butch Camerons currently walking around

All my four boys have very unusual, but memorable names and they love them. Even my oldest son, who is 16, and has the most unique name of all of them, loves it as it makes him stand out from the crowd (at one point, he was in a class with 5 James', 3 Freddies and 2 Toms) - he has found the girls in particular love his name whilst the boys all say they wish they had a name like his!!

Isn't Leslie/Lesley a good example of co-habitation?

And the name Kay is a boy's name in Germany, so is Sascha. The Sascha makes sense because it is the Russian familiar form for Alexander.

I'm a classic example of having a 'popular' name and I can't say it's ever bothered me. My first name is Clare, which was the most popular girls name the year I was born in 1975. At school there was about 4 of us in my year. I'd prefer a 'popular' name than something that can be ridiculed (one of my sister's was called 'Nora' which she hates so much she's adapted to 'Noreen' which isn't quite as bad)
My husband is adamant that he gets to choose the boy's name, and he likes 'Harry'. I'm not crazy about it but I'm going along with it (neither of us are Harry Potter fans!) His first choice was 'Jack', which is currently top of the popularity charts. He chose Jack purely as it was his Grandfather's name. We've now decided against it as friends of ours have just had a boy and called him Jack (again after a Grandfather and not to keep up with a current trend!) 'Georgia' is also currently in the top ten popular girls names but it's the only name that we can agree on. I'd prefer something a bit more unusual but it's hard to settle on a name when everybody, including your partner is saying 'oh no, don't call the child that!'

Stick with the names you like but provide an alternative middle name so they can experiment later in life.I called my daughter Mary(she was the only Mary in her year group which she loved as she stood out amongst the Tracys and )and gave her the middle name Ellen so she could be sophisticated later on.She has chosen to be known as MaryEllen which I never forsaw.
Speaking as a teacher of 27 years can I plead with you to make sure that your chosen names do fit with your surname.I have had to deal with some awful faux pas on parents part across the years.I have had a Theresa Green,Thersa Brown,Candy Sweet and the very worst,Tracy Stacy.The last child always flinched if her full name was called out but it was inevitable as she was in a class that had 8 Tracys.Poor kid.

There's a Wayne Kerr not to far from here. My Mum had a Joanne King in her class "Hello - you must be Jo King!"... and I kne an Andy Dandy. Oh dear...

Wow you actually know of a 'Wayne Kerr'! My husbands friend liked the name 'Wayne' but luckily they realised the coupling with their surname was unsuitable - 'Wayne King'. I knew a 'Joanne King' when was young and never worked out the 'Jo King' thing. My friend named her daughter 'Rae Jean Paul', when said quick enough it reminds me of that great DeNiro film 'Raging Bull'.
Then there's names like Edward Woodward, poor fella!

Luckily young Master Kerr is a thick-skinned tyke by all accounts. Some kids do seem to rise to the occasion and cope with a difficult/unusual name. Problem is, you've no idea if the child is going to fit that bill. In some South American tribes you don't get your 'real' name at birth, but later in life... sounds handy, but who know what people might pick at 12/16/18 whatever... I'm sure there'd be a lot more Galadriel Moonbeams wandering about!

My husband was at school with a 'Robin Hood' who - I joke not - was the captain of archery!!

I was at school with an unfortunate girl called Dorcas Podger - it was terrible for her, everyone giggled when her name was read out, why her parents couldn't have given her an easier name to go with 'Podger', I don't know.

Near where I live, there is a whole load of 'Cockheads', however, I don't know whether any of them are called Ivor.

Tigerlily,

An analysis of birth announcements in the Irish Times, Ireland's middle class newspaper, showed the following names as the most popular during 2000:

Girls:

Sarah, Sophie, Lucy, Anna, Emma, Isobel, Grace, Ciara, Lily, Rachel, Róisín.

Boys:

James, Conor, Seán, Jack, William, David, John, Luke, Alexander, Daniel, Harry, Matthew.

Most of those would be just as acceptable as names in England.

And may I ask what is wrong with the names: Ford, Trillian, Zaphod, Wise Old Bird and Slarti-Bart-Fast?

On second thooughts, perhaps I don't need to ask.

More seriously, beware of the actual meaning of names. It's all very well having you name mean 'gift of God' or 'The Bee' in ancient Hebrew, but what if it means something rude in Spanish or is American slang for toilet. NEVER CALL A CHILD JOHN.

My current favourite for a girl is Georgiana but I am sure that if I ever get round to haveing kids either my significant other will hate the name, or be called george, or I will only have boys.

FABT

And, be really carefull about what the childs initials spell. Calling your some Farnon Andrew Tamberly may not seem so bad unless the kid has a bit of a weight problem

FABT

Yeah. My initials were MAD. I never did live it down
We have found, over the years, that no matter how rare the name you give your child has been until then it suddenly takes off as soon as you use it. I think there must be names floating around in the collective unconscious, just waiting for their time to come.

Do beware of unusual spellings. Children of a certain age love to have personalised pencils, keyrings, cups, badges etc. Call your child something unusual and he/she will be constantly disappointed.
AND the teachers won't be able to spell/pronounce it.

(I used to know a Willy Waggot )

My youngest is called Dominic. Not only do the Germans constantly spell it wrong (Dominik), but I can't get personalised things here either. I have looked in England and not found much, although I'm sure it's not that uncommon there. I have even asked people to look in Ireland for me, but I'm not sure how thorough they were.

For myself, I put up with little spelling changes for the sake of a nice twee personalised thing. My name Jacqueline I shorten to Jacky, but you only ever find it spelt "Jackie" which, I admit, is the proper girl's way to spell it.

But Dominic is proud of his spelling and being slightly different and gets cross about people spelling it with a "k". (On party invitations from his classmates and on the altar boy plan in the sacristy, or worse still, when this plan is published in the parish newsletter.)