h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Junebugs are a kind of beetle. They fly around, bounce into things, and seem to be one of the stupider insects on the planet. Last night one flew into my apartment and one of my guests kept her ears covered, as she'd heard they like to take up housekeeping in there. Sounds like a suburban myth to me, but does anyone know about this?

Having had an insect fly into my ear when I was a child I can only say that it was a very irritating situation.The frantic buzzing in the ear is horrible.....Not an experience I would ever care to repeat but not deadly.

It's never happened again and now my earholes must be much larger than when I was a child.Surely the odds of a repeat should be increased...

Yes. They fly into your ear and eat through the eardrum, causing deafness, then they continue onwards and inwards, eating your brain, until you die.

Surely you've seen the news reports? "5 People Killed By Junebugs This week - A Record Low"

RF

What are Junebugs and why are we worrying about them in February?

PP

They look like this:

http://magazine.audubon.org/earthalmanac/almanac0303.html

And they kill people by flying into your ears and eating your brain.

RF

Note: brain-eating behaviour not yet verified by modern science.

RF

I'll have to design some mesh earmuffs for my guests, then. Needn't worry about it myself, as a brain-eating junebug would soon starve.

I'm worried about junebugs in February because I live in the tropics. Our weather right now is similar to northern lattitudes in the gentler part of summer. I know, it's a bitch. But *somebody's* gotta do it.

Hmmmmm. Maybe I'm attracting surprise visits lately. A squirrel carrying a peanut in its mouth just wandered into my kitchen, and yesterday I found a baby ringsnake outside the front door. How odd. I live in the middle of the city. I hope there aren't any gators in the neighborhood.

Sounds like you live in an interesting area MoG.

I have had small flies fly into my ears regularly. Every summer I have to sleep with my ears covered as it happens several times a night, moths try as well. I get woken up by things trying to get into my ears as I lose grip of the sheet I cover them with as I sleep.

Best thing to do, as it can drive you mad very quckly is to fill your ear up with something like olive oil. This drowns the misguided fly, and brings it out. Its better than the alternative of hearing a fly flying inside your head.

RF, you've been watching too much Star Trek again It isn;t real y'know.

MoG, well of course the animals all converge on your doorstep, it's all part of being the MoG

Although, admittedly, it is usually depicted as being lambs and calfs and swans and cherubim and seraphim. Any winged babies hanging about as well?

obviously the squirrel had run out of places to bury nuts and was looking for somewhere new the others wouldn't find! Maybe you should provide a jar for each squirrel that turns up, identified with a paw print obviously!

It's still February all over the world. Der!

I'm going to fool the little b*st*rds. I'm going to sleep with corks in my ears and nose and my mouth taped up. And my pants on.

PP

There is another kind of insects that crawl into your ear. They look like short black centipedes with a claw on the end. I've tried it, not pleasant.

You mean the brain removal didn't deter them then?

The squirrels are always planting their nuts in my potted garden, which runs along the back of the apartment outside the kitchen door. I've put a plantless pot of dirt out there specifically for those lil fellas, but they seem to prefer the flowers and veggies.

I think y'all might have helped me to find my way towards untold wealth! There must be a marketing niche for elasticized ear nets if that many people have had bugs targeting their ears, especially while sleeping. It wouldn't be an expensive business to start up, either. I already have a sewing machine.

If you do make one MoG, then I would love to try one, I am guaranteed to have something fly into my ear every night in the hot days of the summer! I would be ideal for road testing it.

As for the squirrels ignoring the pot you put out for them, I am not surprised! Nature is always contrary.

>> There is another kind of insects that crawl into your ear. They look like short black centipedes with a claw on the end. I've tried it, not pleasant. <<

Deliberately?

They're called earwigs. Wonder how they came by *that* name?

RF

Talk about thread drift!!!

What I want to know is how a junebug would even fit inside anyone's ear - have you ever seen the size of those f**kers? Once one flew into the back of my head - THWACK! - and almost knocked me over.

And one of my worst ever childhood memories is waking up with a huge junebug on my pillow, wiggling its antennae at me (aaaaaaack!)

This was during the summer when a section of the small northern Canadian town I was living in was being cleared for construction of new homes and THOUSANDS of junebugs took over the place. It was a plague. They were everywhere. Shop windows were full of them, cars drove down the streets with a steady crunch-crunch-crunching under their wheels.

Anyhow, I thought it was earwhigs that crawled into people's ears - hence their name.

az

The junebugs I'm talking about might be different from canadian junebugs, az. Ours are about as long as my thumbnail when filed short, but not quite as wide (my hands are about average man-sized). We *do* have Palmetto bugs, which are like giant flying roaches. The FAA keeps trying to make 'em file flight plans, but they can't fine 'em, since they don't have pockets(to keep their money in). *Those* guys are disgusting, and when they sneak into my place I'm not at all tolerant and Buddhist and respecting-of-all-life, I just go for the RAID. Maybe that's how Bush feels about people he calls terrorists.

I wonder about junebugs flying into ears, anyway (to keep the drift more like an ebb-and-flow) because these critters are so random! They haven't the aim not to constantly bounce off the walls and ceiling, much less aim for an earhole and hit it within a 5 yard radius.

But sooner or later, one them's got to get lucky

I mean, I seriously doubt RF's claim that they eat your brain. Sounds like he's making it up. But ... no, he's making it up. Isn't he? But ...

*Returns with motorcycle helmet* Come on then! Come try it!