h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Or "just as I were *telt* as a lad"

By jolly, I think you're right Potholer.

And that surprises you how?

The Christian calender that we are stuck with has this peculiarity for mathematical reasons. Mathematicians hadn't invented zero by then.

Londoners are also incapable of pronouncing "L" unless at the beginning of a word. They pronounce it as "W" instead.

yeah you are right dog is like someone who is ugly. Actually once i was talking with one of my friends about how i want to go to england and marry a hot british guy and she said they were all dogs. Which actually a lot of people have said that, but i know hot ones exist,(exhibit a being gavin rossdale of bush), and i am determined to find them. Wish me luck! (and money so i can get over to the uk in the first place)
---heather

Travel broadens the mind, so go. Contact Keori, she's been there, got the T shirt, read the book, and all.

Please tell us what exactly attracts you to the UK apart from your ancestry. I am hoping we don't have to dash some illusions here.

Coffee. Cup of Joe. Java.

But also....

I was having a conversation with an English guy here, in the New York metropolitan area, just before his first trip to our lovely state of Ohio, and we got into the discussion of how here, we call most carbonated beverages, 'soda' and in Ohio, they're referred to as, 'pop'. I think that in some places south of here, people call such carbonated soft drinks, 'coke', as in, "What kind of coke do you want?....Coke?Pepsi?Sprite?RootBeer?"

This English friend then went on to say that as a child in England he would have said, "Can I have a fizzy pop, please?" Would that be common throughout Britain? For children? What would an adult say?

<^>I'm not Ted

I haven't heard that expression since about 1962

Back up in Scotland (especially Glasgow) it would be referred to as Ginger. As in Ginger Beer, but it covered all fizzy drinks. I have found myself going to the shops for a bottle of juice, by which I mean fizzy drink. I ma not sure if that one is just me, or if it is actually Glaswegian.

Oh, and from a couple of pages back, in my experience, while the Scots ain't chuffed with the French for their blockades etc. they in no way are so blindly hating of them as the English. Probably for historical reasons.

Indeed Munchkin, do the celtic nations hate anyone quite so blindly as the English. Probably for historical reasons

According to the guide on my recent tour of the Black Sheep Brewery in Masham (where they brew *seriously* good Yorkshire ale), the word 'pop' derives from the sound made when opening old-style carbonated drinks bottles.
These bottles were sealed by a captive glass ball which was held in place by gas pressure. To open them, you could either give the bottom of the bottle a thump (hoping it didn't break), or push down the ball from above, which resulted in the 'pop' sound.

I have been trying to think of a reasoned response to your statement Phil, but every time I start it quickly becomes a rant. So, I think it is best to leave Geoff Hurst out of this and just say, yes, you are most correct.

It was just a response to the last line in the posting of yours.

"while the Scots ain't chuffed with the French for their blockades etc. they in no way are so blindly hating of them as the English."
This can be read in two ways, 1 (and probably the way you meant it) the scots don't seem to blindly hate the french like the english do.
2, the scots, while disliking the french think that the english are much worse.

(anyway it seems like I was vindicated by one scotsman living in the south of england anyway as all he could think of was a rant )

Touché

I have picked up a handy little booklet explaining Yorkshire English. Naturally, I am fast becoming a great expert! Unfortunately, neither books nor h2g2 can help much when it comes to getting the accent right.

So, here's a nice little exchange about "two ex-friends called Robert":

"If thar Bob dusn't gi'ahr Bob t'bob that thar Bob owes ahr Bob then ahr Bob'll bob round t'thar Bob's an' gi' thar Bob a bob on t'nose!"

Well, I'm still working on a translation, but the guide does help by saying that 'bob' means 'an old shilling', 'to depart for a short time', and 'to punch'.

When I read it, it sounds strangely like Klingon!

Munchkin

Kaeori a simple translation,
If (that, your, there or their not sure) Robert doesn't give our Robert the shilling that Robert owes our Robert, then our Robert will bob (go) round to the Robert's [place] and give that Robert a bob (punch) on the nose.

[] additions for clarity
() translations added

Phil (etc)

It starts........If your Bob..

The rest is essentially correct......

'G'

That's handy phrase!

Well I'm not from yorkshire, so I don't claim accuracy (as the number of possibles for thar ). Even if a large number of cloth eared fools (including several from Yorkshire) think that I'm from there even when I'm not. I've only had my accent correctly identified once when I was in a pub in London talking to a friend (who talks similar) and we were heard by someone from essentially the same part of the world (NE Cheshire in case you weren't interested).