h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Aye, but Ceilidhs can be sweaty affairs. Things can get pretty uncomfortable during the Gay Gordons.

Bah... if yer no comfortable aroond the Gay Gordans ye shudnae be wearin' a kilt, 'specially if yez got nae haggis left.

Scottish Country Dancing - the nearest thing to indoor close combat fighting.

Indeed! There's nothing more alarming than that moment of confused panic during Strip The Willow, when you're spun around to see a scary Teuchter lassie bearing down on you.

With sweat dripping off her moustach and a gleam in her one good eye.

Och no! I was thinking more of feisty, attractive redheads. Sweaty...yes.

I once went to a wedding in Gairloch (look it up on a VERY good map). One of the guests was so drunk that he had to spend the whole night dancing because he'd have fallen over if he'd stopped.

Why would I need to look it up when I've stayed at the Gairloch Inn....

zinc cream is best for chafing. be careful with talcum powder, not only will it turn to an offensive paste if you use it in areas where you sweat, it is thought to carry health risks if inhaled.

zinc cream, zinc oxide, is the effective ingredient in calamine lotion; calamine being the mineral containing both cadmium and zinc, both discovered in modern times, tho calamine has been used since ancient times for skin irritations, burns etc.

it is also far cheaper than most nappy creams, will endure for longer and is also an antiseptic.

useless in cooking however.

These facts are becoming far too useful.

Here's a really useless fact:
Mrs. D's grandad nearly invented the hovercraft but thought it was a silly idea so he abandoned the project.

Here's an even more useless fact!

My dad was part of the team that invented the "dot" on the number 5 on a modern telephone so that blind people could use it!

They had a whole team working on the dot?!!!

It is physically impossible to sneeze underwater

you want really useless?

if you comb your hair on the left, when you look in the mirror, if you have the right sort of moustache, you will see an image astonishingly like hitler.

men only i'm afraid.

on a related note, most men have difficulty shaving if the mirror is replaced with a video image.

Have you ever wondered why it is that in a mirror image right is left and left is right but up is up and down is down?


(retorically speaking, of course... I do know why).

No, never wondered, but now that you mention it... Care to shed some light on that matter? Has it got to do with the fact that our eyes tend to be next to each other rather than above and below one another?

Y.

G'day all

looks like FLANKER got the closest, I'm still not wearing locks because on Tuesday and Thursday nights I have Hockey practice (real field hockey not that ice ballet crap) and on either Saturday or Sunday we play our games.

p.s. I don't know what kind of lap dancing joints you go to but the one's I've been to have female dancers.

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I have wondered, I don't know - so please tell!

In the English language there are only three words that have a letter that repeats six times. Degenerescence (six e's), Indivisibility (six i's), and nonannouncement (six n's).

The only word with all the vowels in reverse order is subcontinental