h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I know what you're thinking: a biscuit ruling the country? A foolish idea. Biscuits are (generally speaking) non - sentient, inanimate, man - made objects that go well with tea and coffee, and therefore unsuitable for positions of authority.

Think of the advantages, though! A biscuit can not, through it's very essence of being, declare war. A biscuit would also be deaf to the cries of big business lobbyists, therefore putting a stop to profit - driven policies. Bets of all, with a biscuit as our representative World Leader, we'd never lose a debate - have you ever tried arguing with a biscuit? I know I have and believe me, it can't be done.

Yes, I realise there's a danger of government - hired assassins (eg. labradors, etc), but the prime minister is never far from his bodyguards, is he? So my question is: which biscuit should rule the British Isles, and why?

I think you'd be best off asking this in <./>Askh2g2</.> not many people seem to drop by this little place

The italics usually move threads like this there but they're a bit busy off site at the moe.

If you need any help finding your way round h2g2 you can always ask me or call in on the Aces they are there to make your life that little bit easier by knowing where most things are or who to ask!

Mel

Editorial Note: This conversation has been moved from 'Talking About the Guide - the h2g2 Community' to 'Ask the h2g2 Community'.

Ohh wow, they are on form today

Mel

Gary Baldy but what you're forgetting is the home secretary is the man with the Golden Labrador

Aw, come on . . . Who had the last jammy doger?

Aw, come on . . . Who had the last jammy dodger?

I like the idea. It couldn't get much worse anyway, although a biscuit would be pretty vulnerable.

And what biscuit?...Let me think about it.

Methos

*Creates wall of Bourbons*

*Munches way through wall of bourbons*

Ah ha!

a "nice" one

This is an excellent intellectual question and one that should be debated up and down the country. Now let's see...

my evil twin sister might suggest a Hob Nob, but they crumble too easily under pressure.
Echos aren't original enough, they can't take the initiative.
Bourbons... now that's just the popularity factor that hopes to get it elected.
Party Rings, although my particular favourite, are much too frivoulous and wouldn't last five minutes in office.

We need a serious yet sensitive biscuit; a figurehead to recognise and respect; one who'll answer the countries needs instead of adhering to trends and fancy; who has rough side and a sweet side; who can win over any opposition; who has the wisdom of age and yet adapts and who will remain with us, stoic through good times and bad, to pull the country through and lead us on to greater heights.
Most of all, we need a biscuit that goes with tea.

Electorate: Vote for the Chocolate Digestive!

The Bourbons have already had three bites of the cookie, but frankly lost in the long run to the Garibaldis of this world.

there are Spanish Bourbons too. Time for a coup d'etat!

Ah, and there's the advantage that a biscuit rarely goes hunting. Warms to the idea.

I'd worry that a chocolate digestive is trying to be too populist. What about a plain digestive?

(my own preference is those Dutch syrup waffle biscuits, the two layer jobbies that are best eaten warm... no wait! they would be useless, they bend when it gets a bit hot)

I'm sorry, I won't be swayed here.

It has to be Nice biscuits. Solid, reliable, dunkable, imbued with a sense of history. They've seen us through two World Wars and never crumbled.

Best of all, the name. If a Nice biscuit governed us, we'd all be Nice people. Nice people don't commit crime, or hurt one another or say nasty things. Nice people don't go to war. And think of the example we could set the world.

Lead by example, be all you can be, vote Nice

yeah, but don't they have sugar on top? I hate that, it's like eating sand.

eek, posted to early. What about Malted Milk biscuits? How bad can a biscuit featuring cows be?

the sugar helps us cope with difficult decisions.