h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

"I'm older and I've got more insurance"

We used to get customers who would call at noon to get you to look things up for them and get angry when yous aid that you would call them back with all the information later in the day, or angry because you had to put them on hold for a customer who was actually standing in front of you.

There were the ones who got ticked off because it took you several minutes to answer the phone because you were on the phone with 2 other people (again at noon).

The best were ones who despite the fact that there was a huge line at the information desk would walk up oblivious to the 85 people in the line and then get pissed because you said they would have to wait in line... "But I'm in a hurry!" as though the other 85 had decided that they just didn't have anything better to do on a sunny day than stand in a line at our info desk.

We finally got headsets for dealing with telephone calls. The number of people who, would walk up and start talking to you while you were talking to someone on the phone and looking something up or writing something down and then, when you put up a finger (the polite one, silly) or mouthed "Just a moment" would get pissed off and stalk off, or go and complain to a manager that you were ignoring them, or start yelling at you.... not to be credited.

Yes, I have walked up to someonenot realizing they are on handsfree but as soon as I realize I step back until they are finished and don't moan about it.

We used to get this moron who would call and ask about some new book that had been reviewed in the Globe and Mail, The Times, or the New York Review of Books. If you looked it up and found that it hadn't been released yet, would winge and complain about :"Why don't the publishers release them in time for the reviews...." I Don't know... why don't you bleeding well ask THEM????? And then he would have you on the phone giving you a lecture about "What is Wrong With the Publishing Business in Canada Today" or his favorite political hobbyhorse of the day, or some other completely uninteresting thing as though he was the last word on any subject.

I don't believe he ever actually purchased any of the books he enquired about, either.

The absolutely worst thing about bookselling was "Back-to-School". University and College profs send out their booklists the week that classes start. They have ordered their titles from lists sent out by the bookstore and thru text publishers. 99% of the titles are not tiltes generally available through booksellers. Some are older editions of texts which have been returned for the newest editions. The profs for some unknown reason only order a few copies for their classes from the school bookstore. Never enough for the entire class. Compounding this is that many times the orders to the school bookstores are late don't come at all.

So, come September, you have a steady stream of students looking for textbooks. Fine if they are in Canadian Lit, English Lit, French Lit., Poli. Sci., or Art. Most of the titles on their booklists would be readily available. However, in Biology, the Sciences, Computer technology, and a number of other fields, the titles are simply not available through a regular bookstore. You try explaining this to students and many actually get angry with you.... "It is on a class list, why don't you carry it????"

I would suggest to them to please complain to the prof. who sends out the same lists year after year to suggest that either he order something that is readily available or to make sure they order enough thru the bookstore.... Still, the same class lists year after year...

What really burned me was a couple of profs who actually had the nreve to call and tell me that they "knew these were available" and that I "obviously didn't know anything about the books".

"Look, I have been working in bookstores for the last 15 years.... I know books and I know the bookbusiness. These texts are NOT readily available and I suggest you do your homework."

Would the prof in question be 'Reg' from the Dirk Gently novels perchance? His method of avoiding students was to give them an impossible reading list so they were forever in search of books, not him

On a consumer note: Why the hell are uni textbooks so damn expensive? I spent the best part of £100 on three books one semester, and that was only on one module out of the three!

That would likely be the fault of the University bookstore. I can't speak about the ones in the UK, but in Canada, they tack on an extra % and when ordering from titles that are non-existent elsewhere from textbook publishers, they often get a "deal" which not only is not passed along to the student purchasing the book, they still tack on the extra % point.

Far from you getting an advantage for buying your texts outside to University or College bookstore, you pay MORE for your books. And you don't get a student discount as you would at many regular shops.....

If only this were mor widely known, perhaps a media campaign would change things. I guess that they think they have you over a barrel and since you won't be at school forever, are less likely to complain about it.

One of the worst things about all this is that many school texts (and this includes grade school thru University materials) are either badly written or downright incorrect. I have seen texts with facts that are wrong, so confusing as to make them unreadable, or had answers which did not match the questions (or completely incorrect answers). If you purchased the text from a University bookstore, generally they take no responsibility for the sale of the book. In a regular store you usually have no problem returning something that is incorrect. Most stores, in fact, will take a book that is unsuitable for whatever reason.

University bookstores generally have no such policy.

This afternoon my company's customer service department received a message from a customer regarding a product that he had bought for a friend. The product worked perfectly, exactly as advertised, and the friend simply needed a little advice in using it.
That advice was given politely and thoroughly to both the customer and his friend in friendly letters sent within 9 minutes of his email's arrival, and further help was offered if required.
Issue resolved, we thought.
Later, the friend wrote, thanking us for our advice. Again, we responded cheerily, encouraging him to let us know if anything that he was unsure about cropped up over the next few weeks.

A few hours later, the customer wrote again - he responded with vicious sarcasm, insults directed both at our product and our customer service and an entirely unprovoked racial attack, our company being based in a different country from his, though he identified himself as a native of a third country.

At this point, I (as owner of the business) took over the correspondence, refunded the customer's payment in full and told him that while we remained happy to help his friend if further support was required, we did not wish to hear from him again.

Although I realise that he is without doubt a stupid bigot and not worth thinking about for a moment longer, both the customer service rep and I feel upset and personally insulted.

Any thoughts?

One thought: Sometimes the customer is not right.


I think your response was perfectly reasonable. It demonstrates to your employees that you stand behind them when need be and are willing to sacrifice a few dollars/pounds/euros on a point of principle. Bravo!

Sometimes you have to sack a customer. Being in retail gives no-one the right to be abusive in *any* circumstances, nor does it give anyone the right to treat sales assistants or any customer service worker as a soft target for their bad manners and rudeness.

Unfortunately, the people who dream up all those customer service schemes like 'We'll take it back no questions asked' never have to deal with customers, and always add little riders which they don't tell the customer about in the advertising.

"The large print giveth, and the small print taketh away"
Tom Waits

You and your collegues gave your customer excellent service which apparently suited him to begin with. The customer quite obviously had "some issues" that were beyond the scope of your expertise. Short of recommending a good psychiatrist, you did as much as you could reasonably be expected to do for him.

No one has the right to abuse you. Had the "gentleman" been halfway rational, and had a legitimate complaint, it might have been possible to placate him. He wasn't and you cut your losses. You did the right thing.

Frankly, I'm suprised you decided to refund. You had writings to prove the quality of your service and the slime-guy may just have been looking for a refund anyway. I can understand you not wanting his money, but the thought that he might have wanted it more....

Whatever the case, coming across this kind of individual is always extremely unpleasant. You can be legitimately proud of yourself just for staying human when you have to deal with "people" like that.

Hoping you're feeling better about it in the morning.

btw: I've had occasion to be really shocked by the tactics some people are willing to stoop to where money is concerned

Gordon/Gosho/Mudhooks/Deni - thanks for your support

I am feeling better about it today - it's easier to pity him for his ignorance and appalling manners when I'm not exhausted - and looking at it as "sacking the customer" *definitely* helps!

Deni - I decided that simply getting rid of this guy was well worth $25. I have no responsibilty towards him now - he is indebted (whether or not he realizes that) to me and my staff for both the product and the service.

I work in a library these days (my goodness, the stories of stupidity I have...), but I did work in a newsagent for a couple of years.

We had one lady who came in and asked me which chocolate bar had the least fat. I didn't know, surprisingly enough, but this meant that I had to check the labels of literally ALL the brands of chocolate on the shelves until we'd found out which one it was. I can't remember what it was, but it was a mint flavour and not very popular. Months later, she came back, but by this time the brand had been discontinued, so I'm afraid I chickened out and said 'oh, it must be either x or y', checked those two and gave her the one with the lowest fat. I did use an educated guess, but I think I'd have gone insane if I'd had to go through the whole process again. Disgraceful customer service, I'm sure.

David

I worked for an electrical retail store for a while, and some of the awkward things customers used to ask... but this story's about a sale a colleague was making.

Customer comes in, fairly burly person, wishing to browse the range of widescreen tv's. "Certainly Sir" replies Martin and proceeds to demonstrate the relevant models to the customers needs. Martin spends approximately 25 mins with the customer all the time being incredibly polite "Yes Sir, No Sir" etc. Anyway, customer decides to take a TV and Martin proceeds to the credit area where myself and 4 other employees are looking through the new POS. After sitting the customer down Martin proceeds with the basics and says "Right Sir, if I can just take your name please? It's Mr...?"

To a stunned silence burly customer replies "Actually... it's Miss. Miss Jones"

You can imagine the 5 of us in earshot trying not to laugh the store down and get Martin in to alot of trouble.

This is one of the most interesting threads I've come across in a fair while....


Geggs

I used to own The Crystal Garden, selling spiritual/new agey stuff with a pagan slant.

I had customers who asked me to make life-changing decisions for them

some asked me to bless objects they had bought,
they never appreciated it when I said no, one guy who was christian was quite upset, but I said he should get someone he respected within his own religion to do it, I couldn't being pagan

people asked us to choose cards and write them, especially for mothers day

people demanded tarot readings/palm readings/aura anything or everything, and that was after they knew I wasn't qualified for any of these and didn't practise any myself

one woman physically attacked me for selling her daughter books on witchcraft, when previously she had asked for stuff to avert the eveil eye - isn't that witchacraft?!

I was asked for spellwork, including black magic

people would sidle upto me, saying they knew of a witch who lived in their road, didn't they notice the bookselves full of witchcraft books and all the leaflets for witchcraft groups?!

the weird, smelly bloke who bought patchouli and then mumbled about the evil druids who were coming to take him away

the many men who I sold stuff to and generally tried to be helpful to, who thought this was a first date!

customers who never realised the shop had been taken over, and still called me the name of the previous owner!

and theirs more!

David B., I don't know where you are but here in the UK we have a chocolate bar called 'Flyte', which has always been advertised as being 'low-fat chocolate'. I tried it - once. It's basically 'Milky Way', a chocolate bar with a light fluffy filling that people traditionally buy for their kids, and which doesn't taste of anything much. If you have anything like that where you are, it's probably lower in fat than anything else on your shelves.

Believe it or not, Flyte was what crazy low-fat lady ended up with second time around, so my educated guess was pretty good! I quite like Flyte, really, much nicer than the 'new' Milky Way. But nowhere near as nice as Mars' other products.

David