h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

When I was a kid (after I'd seen Superman) I used to jump about a lot in the hope that people would think I was Superman and gone to take off, but decided against it at the last moment.

I thought that the three big trees at the end of my garden caused the wind.

Any more?

I used to think that waves rolling onto the beach contained dead bodies!

I used to think that if I couldn't do some trivial random task like keep my balance all the way from one end of a fence to another, or run to the next lamppost before a bus I'd just spotted got there, I would somehow personally have cursed my national football team.

This might sound stupid, but remember I'm a Scotland fan. Of course, now I'm older I've realised that their ability to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory had absolutely nothing to do with me, but rather that it's an international conspiracy orchestrated by demons in human form (also known as Gazz'a).

I used to believe my dolls and teddys were alive...for a long long time

At 13 I convinced my older sister that I could pick our front door lock with a twig (I can't remember if I believed it myself or not but the blowtorch required to remove the twig from the lock was cool)

When I was very young I believed that wearing a crocheted blanket over my head made me a princess.

I also thought that if clothes were a bargain that meant they were very nice

My mum tells me I believed god lived on my light shade (it was a mr men one)

I used to believe there was a famous jockey who lived at the stables down the road from us, called Jim Carner.

I used to think that there really was a man in the moon. The moon was the size of a house and he used to fly it up to the sky at night.He had a little steering wheel and pannel to steer the moon. He put his face into a projector that beamed his face onto the surface.

That the spots on ladybirds were an indication of how old they were in years....

That a jolly fat man dressed in red with a white beard..travelled the world on a sleigh pulled by reindeer..stopping on every roof..going down chimneys and delivering presents..and did all this in one night..double........

Emmily

Can't remember why, now, but I know I had to be right at the bottom of the stairs before the toilet in the bathroom stopped flushing after I used it.

David

There are lines of energy (like laser beams only invisible, of course) coming out of pointy things (like anything with corners, tables being the worst cuplrits) that should be avoided if at all possible, ie you have to climb over or under, unless someone's watching, of course...but then you have to make up for crossing the line by doing some kind of pennance...

It all made perfect sense, honest...

We used to beleive that the nuns at our convent school didn't have legs and they moved around on some sort of wheels.

In my defence, it was the early 1970's - they still wore floor length habits in those days so all you could see was their faces and hands - they looked like penguins and seemed to float. Anyway the big kids told us so it must have been true!

Blankets are monster-proof. And one millimetre of bare skin poking out from under them is almost an engraved invitation for all those flesh-devouring creatures to crawl out from under the bed...

If you thought that, have you seen these?!

http://www.mojolondon.co.uk/Products/nunzilla.html

Thanks for the link Narapoia - that was Sister Benignas on the far left, Sister Ephriam on the right, Sister Celestine in the middle... Oh blimey, I'll probably be consigned to hell fire and damnation for this!

People on TV could see you, so (after a bath etc) for the sake of modesty, get dressed behind a settee

All the music on the radio was being performed live in the studio

There lived a little leprecaun in the walls of hour house, and we had to feed it corn flakes so it wouldn't get mad at us...

But the cornflakes were always gone when I checked the next morning And would my sister lie to me?

A tiny version of the singer was hopping up and down inside my Mum's record player and singing to you when you played a record. It was a big wooden cabinet type record player so it's not like (s)he'd be squashed !

box full of singing dwarfs...

that once, when I was in the car wearing a posh dress, everyone would think I was Royal.

That I considered that desirable was the oddest thing.

If any part of me sticks out from under bedclothes, THEY will remove it. (This still gets me in the dark...)

I used to think my grandfather's cows were going to eat me. Yes, the cows I was afraid of, the homicidal bull I was indifferent towards, but those cows. To this day, the sight of an udder sends shivers up me spine.

TUUUYSCS,
Deuce.

That there were little people inside the telly doing the shows.

That all the people who had 'L' plates on their vehicles had them to show they knew me (my name begins with L), even though I was sure I didn't know all of them

Q

I thought I was a robot. One day I sprained my ankle and I thought the x-ray at the hospital would blow my cover. When I saw the bones on the x-ray I thought "oh no, I'm human".