h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I've never seen them in Germany, and my German roommates also found them weird.

I must commend Wetherspoons pub in the town square in Nottingham, the Ladies loos there are amazing. As big as a bar, with a chaise longue in the middle. Classy. next time you're in Nottingham, pay the loos a visit. (By the way, I'm a bloke)

On my third day here in Beijing, we went to a local dive restaurant. I needed to go during the evening, so I followed one of the cooks down this little alleyway (precarious enough considering I was half cut by this time) into the direst toilet I have ever seen in my life. The urinal was bad; the other part was 4 holes in the ground, with all its produce on show. Fortunately I can automatically cut off my sense of smell - the stench would have knocked a horse out.

The love affair with China is currently at its lowest ebb, as some complete c**t has just stolen my bike.

I can't work out what number you're all up to, but some music festival toilets are amongst the most constipation inducing I know. They're just a trailer containing a big tank of chemicals and poo in the bottom, covered by a long plank with holes in to sit on. No cubicles, no paper. I've seen 6-seaters up to 20-seaters. Emptied by tanker once a day, you can smell them from 100 yards away. I've never used one - if I really need to go I set out on an expedition to find a pub.

Mind you, the last festival I attended was Cambridge Folk Festival in the 1980s (it was the 25th according to the beerglass) - maybe things have improved.

Do you know what a Siberian toilet looks like?


It consists of two sticks. One for giving support while you're doing the necessary, and the other helps you fend off the wolves

My toilet experience suddenly doesn't seem so bad, but I'll relate it anyway...

The toilets in my new office are quiet. Too quiet. Silent, in fact. Which means that if there's anyone else in there using the facilities, you can hear *absolutely everything*.

... and I gather you're not talking about sneezing

*jumping up and down in excitement at a reference to Nottingham*

Chronicargonaut, I know that pub! I've never had the pleasure of visiting the ladies loo though,

I always reckon curtains of dark green algae decorating the walls is a good sign of a bad loo

I was in a loo in Stansted Airport last week and as I sat there I noticed the big arrow on the back of the door that pointed to something written at the bottom (the door's - not mine) it said "BEWARE! Limbo Dancers."

No. (whatever): The ingenious 'towel with it's ends sewn together and a pole in the middle' arrangement has a big brown smear down it. Despite the bottom of the towel being 3 feet off the ground.

Liam.

Bloody limbo dancers.

The other grafitti classic is Toilet Tennis: someone writes "Look right" on the left hand wall of the cublcle, and "Look left" on the right hand wall. Genius.

(a number). None of the flushes on the toilettes work.

(a number + 1). The stalls don't have doors on them.

(a number + 2). There's crap on the floor.

spook

And then there's the nastier variety of writing something from top to bottom on the stall's door:

Look here...





important...




warning!...




You're now ****ing into your trousers

What about the cubicles where the door opens against the pan so you have to squeeze against the walls (yuk) & pan (even yukkier) to get in & close the door. Then no hook to hang anything on so you're clutching coat, bag throughout.

And don't get me started onn paper strewn about the floor and sanitary disposal bins..........

One not from me, but a 'saucy' tale from my son. To get some extra money he cleanes airplanes in the few minutes between the last passenger leaving and the next coming in. Their group always tried to 'miss' the pakistan planes by being busy somewhere else, as in the loo there the stuff could be found even on the ceiling.

Doyou all want to be credited when i compile these?

(in reference to the limbo dancer thing...) Didn't Terry Pratchett make a reference in one of his earlier Discworld Novels to "The unexplained limbo dancer shimmying under the door of the bathroom stall of life"?

Also, the comment about the really beautiful bathrooms in the aforementioned pub reminds me of the bathrooms in a Chicago-Style pizza restaurant I've gone to in Barcelona, Spain. The loos there are labeled the Elton "John" and the Olivia Newton "John"
but those shouldn't count on this list; they were like what I'd imagine a moviestar's backstage dressing room to be like. Those were some classy bathrooms

Cheers!
Raindawn

That would be neat! We could have a collaborative entry

Cheers!
Raindawn

have a look at your entry list...

You mean you want all 101 to post asking you to put the stuff on their personal space?
Ok, I did not contribute a lot, but bring it on please.