h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The other day, after an alleged mis-hang, the Weddell gave me a severe talking-to about Toilet Roll Etiquette. I'd never realised that she (or anyone else) could get excited about such a thing. Which one of us is normal, I wonder? Maybe neither of us. There's only one way to find out...

In the list below, the "A" answers are Correct Etiquette According to the Weddell, the "B" answers are plausible reasons for doing the exact opposite, and the "C" answers are my own general views. Please let me know which option (if any) seems normal to you. Or post your own alternative ritual behaviour.

Thanks for your contribution. I've just got to know on this one...

Pinniped

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1. Which way round should the toilet roll be hung?
A. With the loose end close to the wall (tidy and discreet)
B. With the loose end outermost (making it easier to get hold of)
C. Whichever way it comes out of the packet.

2. How should the free end of the roll be presented?
A. Out of sight behind the body of the roll. Moreover, any ragged bits which didn't tear neatly along the perforation must be assiduously removed, maintaining a perfect straight edge.
B. About 5 cm should hang below the body of the roll (again making it easier to get hold of)
C. It's advisable to keep the loose end in the same room as the toilet. Other than that, it doesn't really matter.

3. What colours of tissue are considered tasteful?
A. Any toilet roll which is not pure white is an abomination.
B. Pastel shades which match the colours of the room look nice.
C. I'm colour-blind. I didn't actually notice that they were green.

4. Is quilted tissue in good taste?
A. Quilted tissue should be provided in any bathroom used by visitors, as it says something about one.
B. In a bathroom used by visitors, the tissue should be wholly unremarkable (to avoid the risk of cloacal ablutions as a topic of discussion at the dinner table)
C. I didn't notice it was quilted either.

5. May toilet roll be used to "clean up" after sex?
A. Certainly not, on pain of violent death.
B. A perfectly practical idea.
C. It's been a while and I've forgotten what you're talking about. Is that why I found one in the glovebox?

1 B

Definately B

Why on earth do women always put it on the wrong way round?

2 C

3 C

4 Don't like quilted bog paper

5 A towel is best

1)B to guys it's important. Like the remote control only more so

2)B B can be tidy. Easy is best in this situation.

3)C Except in the case of peach, yuk

4)C But B is a good point

5)B But I agree with "A towel is best"

1)C - It's not that important, really. Whichever way I holds it, I hangs it.

2)C again - Raggedy, straight, 1cm, 2 metres. I don't really care as long as it's there.

3)C yet again (I think there's a trend here) - Whatever's cheapest, I put in the trolley. Be it white, blue, green or bright yellow with garish orange and pink paisley patterns.

4)D - We don't have visitors. 'nuff said.

5)B - Saves me having to wash the towels.

And for the record, I'm a girly

We get enough catalogs and magazines in the mail, that all we have to do is put one on a coathanger off the loo door.....

My question is, how do you get soy ink stains out of BVDs?

what are BVDs?

Come to think of it I get junk mail about every 3 hours

It's a name of a y-front company that has become a generic term for undies.

"It's a name of a y-front company that has become a generic term for undies."

ah the equivalent here would be Jockies

Where be here?
I be in Texas.

Ann Landers did a couple of surveys on your original question in the dark ages. She got thousands and thousands of replies, roughly evenly divided.
Her, and my, answer is "Get a life". Some rolls show the wrong side if the hang comes next to the wall. If this is really a source of rows in your house get one of those holders like they make for kitchen towels and wind the paper off sideways.

Hmmmm...siedways huh? Which way though - clockwise or anti-clockwise!!

Of course, you could always reserve a corn cob for the dissenter.
They only have ends...

This surely is a topic that can raise debate! The Danish Engineers Association runs a weekly with a quite humourous back page - where this was discussed from every possible engineering angle (and a few more - erm - "down-to-earth" ones, know what I mean, nudge etc)...

But issue 5 wasn't raised...

*scuttles off to see if the issue may be re-raised...*

Oh, by the way I go for Bs in 1 and 2 and don't care much about the others... And as for 5, toilet paper's so impractical in the shower, isn't it?

1. B - and I'm a woman!!

2. B - ditto

3. A - It has to be White AND Andrex - soft, strong and very long (for my delicate botty!!)

4. B

5. What's Sex?

1. B. Definitely. Goshoo complained that women never hang the roll 'the right way round'. Well, I'm a woman and I *insist* on it being hung this way round.

2. B, sort of. It depends on how the end finishes up when I tear some off. Sometimes it's flat against the roll, sometimes it dangles an inch or two. I don't leave a long trailing end, but I'm not fussy either way.

3. B. We use white because our bathroom suite is white, but our in-laws use peach because that's the colour they've decorated the bathroom. If we can't get white, we'll take what we can get (preferably blue). My mum uses whatever she can get, 'cos she doesn't see that it matters, considering what it's used for.

4. B / C. We don't use quilted, 'cos we don't see the point. As long as the toilet paper is soft and absorbent, we don't care.

5. B. We keep a box of paper tissues next to the bed for this purpose, but toilet paper is fine.

Please show Weddell this posting and tell her that there's a woman out there who thinks she should get a life as far as 'Toilet Roll Ettiquette' is concerned. I've never heard of such a thing, and I think she's going a bit far with this!

we put the loo roll on top of the cistern rather than hang it up....because there is no where to hang it!

FABT

1. C
2. C
3. Dont care but usually it is white but only because the stuff we buy only comes in white (made from recycled paper)
4. who cares as long as it doesnt scratch
5. yes but anything absorbant will do - towel, t-shirt, tissue etc.

Seriously, given the stuffs principal purpose someone really needs to get a life.

Then there is the "what do you do with it question" first raised a while back

F19585?thread=76398&skip=0&show=20

Which also touched on this same question.

And then there isa the issue of the people who don't "break the seal" correctly on a new roll, where the 1st sheet is glued (?) to the roll, if you make a mess of this the plys become de-synced and the roll contains the bottom ply from one sheet and the top one from the next meaning the perforations don't line up

CH

Oh, no, I contributed to that thread aswell. How sad does that make me???

You should have kept quiet - I wasn't going to remind you BTW until that thread I had never even heard of the "scrunch" option, let alone considered it.

CH