h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I have never done anything really outragious at work. I did silence a telephone conference the other day by recommending blackmail as a way to get our boss to do something. But on a scale of 1 - 10 that is about 0.75.

When I asked some friends this question I got answers varying from 'strip' to 'start a presentation to the board by putting a handgun down in front of the company chairman'. There was also a long and complicated story which involved witnessing a colleague masturbating.

So - what is the most outragious thing you have ever done at work?

Ben

A few days ago I was so busy at w*rk, that I ended up on the list of
"Researchers with the Most Postings in 24 Hours".

You mean apart from what I did with the boss in the pharmacy's dispensary?

Watched an XXX movie when I was the book-keeper/secretary for a video store back in the early days. (Business was slow...)

Interesting work you have, what is it?

Stormed out of the meeting calling them all "pretensious gits"



C Hawke

I said to the boss, 'You'll have to move your f***ing car. I'm going home.'

And I did.

And I didn't go back.

And I've never regretted it.

I never really thought of it as outrageous, though. I had good reason.

An acquantance of mine stole an entire computer, piece by piece, on the grounds that it wasn't being used. He bragged about it, somebody told his manager, and he got fired on the next working day.

You can probably get away with such stuff more in a smaller company?

I invented a week long series of meetings that would take me up to London and away from my office base in West Sussex. I was to be only contactable by mobile phone and was, "busy, busy, busy. So don't bother me unless it is really important!"

I was sunning myself in Brittany the whole time. And of course I claimed for the travel expenses when I got back

It was during a summer job, 1990, in what was soon to be no longer East Germany. I was working in the kitchen of a summer camp, and between cleaning up after lunch (2:30) and preparing dinner (5:30), hours could be *really* nice .

So one day the chef decided he was gonna cook sonmething that asked for sweet corn. As he had no budget for that, he sent a friend a me to steal corn from a nearby field (back then in the transition from public to private ownership.

Since that day I firmly believe that no mael tastes as good as that which you stole with your own hands...

Yelbakk

An acquaintance once broke into the company's accounts office at the weekend and checked up on everybody's salaries! Can't see the point in that myself as it would be very depressing to find out who's earning more than you

Personally, the most outrageous thing I have done is wee in the kitchen sink cos it was the weekend and the door to the loos was locked and I didn't have a key! I wasn't the only one though - there were two other girls working with me and we all had to go at some point!

I don't know whether this counts because part of it happened outside work...

I made friends with the extremely straight-laced, respectable, conventional, normal, 39-year-old accountant and persuaded him to grow a beard.
When it turned out to be predominantly white I invited him round to my house and hennaed it (and his hair). It was very effective.
The rest of the company were extremely outraged

(I subsequently encouraged him to grow his hair down to his waist and burn all his suits...)

I have been thinking about this for a while!

GD I am impressed and you an accountant and all!

I thought about telling you all about the time we all went out over Christmas and I could not get into the flat I was staying in so drank with one of the others till 5am and then slept in his room, before getting a cab to work to sober up but hey thats not that bad!

In someways the most outrageous thing I have done at work will soom very tame but for those who know me...

At my last company I set up and ran for almost 2 years the IT department. As I say that does not sound that bad - until you realise just how little I know about computers - ask anyone who has head to help me with Guide ML or when my PC does not work!

The best part was that after about 2 years I got them to 'promote' me out of that role and never really got rumbled! Then about 4 years later when the technology was in a mess as a result of stuff the IT manager had done they asked me to go back and sort it all out!

A technically challanged

Light

I'm sure this is rather naughty so I'll avoid details but suffice to say that on a temporary summer job one time I accidentally confused two very different and separte buckets. The consequences of which I would rather not speculate to.

Luckily no-one saw me so my secret remains my own.

I am sure I should not ask but I just cant help it.


What was the summer job?

T'was a agency job at a factory.

yes



and



What did they make at the factory?

Food.

Beyond that, my beak is sealed.

* tries not to think about it *

That's probably for the best.