h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

hey,
heres the score, first thanks for reading this.
second, i'm coming over to the uk in may. i'm looking for cheap accomodations. me and my girlfreind will be in scotland (probably glasgow, edinburgh, aberdeen), england (london, liverpool, wherever), N ireland, (belfast, but we've got a place to stay there), and ireland (likely just dublin). if you know of any good (read cheap) places (hostels, pubs, b&b's, whatever) in these areas i'd love to hear from you. also any really cool things we need to see are welcome as well.
again, thank you for reading this, and thanks for any help you can give.
ps, i know people from ireland aren't brits, so my apologies.

Try the Youth Hostel Association (YHA) they have cheap clean accommodation all over the UK mainly near tourist sites. In rural areas these can be in some really nice converted buildings. They have kitchens, so you can cook your own food.

Where to see? If you see Stonehenge - make the effort to see AVEBURY as well. The the circle is much bigger and - get this - there is a village built in the middle of it. The stones are smaller and it is less photogenic, which is why fewer people have heard of it. But it is the place on the planet which most blows my mind.

York is cool and so is Durham. Glasgow has friendlier people than Edinburgh, but fewer obvious toursit attractions. Do the open top bus tour, and call in at the tourist office.

Avoid Swindon, Slough, Stevenage, and Milton Keynes unless you have friends there.

Have fun. You will find that most Brits will welcome you, we like it if you are friendly and enthusiastic about our country.

If you tell us how much better, bigger, shinier, cleaner, whatever things are in the US we will give you bad directions, give you the wrong change, pull beer from the barrel that is off, and otherwise give you a subtly hard time.

And never ever EVER refer to a bum back as a fanny-sack.

Oooops - I just saw that you are a Canadian, and not from the US.

Accept my aplogies, and get very used to having to say "Canada, actually" and smiling, when asked where in the States you come from.

Sorry

agcB

Cambridge is nice.

* grins out the window at Cambridge *

But not really much of a holiday spot, and it's already full of tourists for the summer. They flock in front of King's College like so many crows with cameras and sandwiches.

* shudders *

I recommend anywhere in North Wales, but especially Conwy and the surrounding area. In Scotland, Pitlochry and Blair Atholl have wonderful scenery. I'm sure other parts of Scotland have it too, but I've only been there and to Fort William, so I don't know for certain.

I don't know much about the other places, but in London try The London Dungeon, the Clink Museum and the Tower of London. All within walking distance if you quite like walking.
I would also recommend that you pick up a Rough Guide to any places that you realy want to see. I have just taken one to Paris and I threw all the other guide books out of the window.

When will you be here?

Mina - as Muse of Bondage - what IS your opinion of the London Dungeon?



agcB

Aberdeen is expensive - expect to pay at least £20 a night, per person for a B&B. If you come in Uni holidays you may be able to get accomodation with them (hopefully they should be cheaper). Aberdeen is not really a touristy city, there is stuff to do - several museums, the Art Gallery, cinemas and pubs - but to see Scotland you should go further North - see the Highlands etc. Hope this helps. If I hear of anything else I will put it down Until later....
BCNU - Crescent

The London Dungeon is really good, they do a variety of tableaux in there which are very good, take you right back through the years of incarceration and torture.
Very colourful and well worth a visit.

Oxford is a good place to visit (although I am biased as I live there/here). Cornwall has much to recommend it especially right down at the bottom.

I would also have to agree with MaW about North Wales, great scenery and great castles. Warwick is a reasonably impressive medieval Castle, but it has nothing on the Edward 1st castles in North Wales such as Conwy, Caernarfon and Beaumaris.

The Lake District, not as rugged as the Scottish highlands, but some of the best scenery in England.

They don't have much of a British flavour, but if art is of any interest, check out the Tate Modern, Tate Britain and National Gallery. All in London and all free!

wow,
this is great. i've got a lonely planet guide, which gives some pretty obscure stuff, but hearing ideas from people instead of pages is way better. i'm over in may, which i think puts me into uni vacations, (at least it is over here), and i had some friends tell me today that they stayed in one in london cheaper then a hostel. is it common to find hostels that have kitchen you can use? the other thing is, now we're thinking of stay in camp grounds cos they also seem a bit cheaper, where availible. my only question (as dumb touristy as this is) is this: i saw snatch (brilliant) and am now a little concerned about the sort of people who stay in campgrounds. are there really going to be barefist boxing champs living in caravans (or rv's as we call them)? anyways, thanks again so much for the help.

Upon arrival in this sceptred isle buy yourself a book "Where to stay HOTELS AND GUESTHOUSES England 2001" published by the English Tourist Board. It lists and grades cheaper hotels.

Tip 1. Feature your red mapleleaf prominently.
Tip 2. You will, no doubt, visit Bath. On the way to London (or Stonehenge/Avebury) from there visit a little village called Castle Combe. Yes its full of tourists, and yes, you cannot park. But its everything an English Village should be. Ditto Clovelly on the North Devon coast.
Tip 3. Don't bother hitch-hiking - you can't on the motorways anyway - and trains are expensive, so use the coaches. (buses)
Tip 4. When/if you need a comfortable night, there are chains of cheap(ish - but clean and comfortable, though no services at all) hotels not in the guidebooks. Travel Inn, Travelodge, Holiday Inn Express and the French ones Formule 25, Ibis, Campanile etc etc. For example you can have a big family room, clean, new and comfortable just yards from the Houses of Parliament for £70 a night (Travel Inn, County Hall) - which sounds a lot, but in very central London is very cheap.
Tip 5. talk to the people. They are not as cold as you think!

Aggree with Girl Called Ben. I work in Stevenage as a mental health social worker. It is most definitely one of the horriblist places in the known universe.

Methinks Girl Called Ben has an aversion to roundabouts. If this is the case also avoid Hemel Hempstead.

BTW if in Castle Coombe make sure that you have clotted cream there (don't worry you won't get Foot and Mouth or BSE (mad cow disease), whatever the Americans would have you believe.

'Bon voyage, fatty!' said the fellow Canuck in our other offishal language just so he could bookmark this thread for future reference...
*I plan to buy an old camper (motorised caravan) and stay for a while*

Since you plan on going to Dublin, you should have asked for some knowledgeable Irish people as well as Brits. Irish people are not British and get very cross if you say they are.

I'm working on a guide to Dublin at the moment, which you might find interesting: http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/A536474. It's only half finished, but it's getting there.

Hey, I like roundabouts! I just like places that exist as well. Stevenage is a non-place in a nihilistic existential kinda way. Swindon - what's there? Apart from the "magic" roundabout of course. At least Milton Keynes has concrete cows.

I have lived both in Stevenage and within 6 miles of Swindon.

And now I don't!

A topographer called Ben

Dear GCB,

As I recall the Swindon Magic Roundabout is officially signposted "The Magic Roundabout". Hemel Hempstead also has a "magic roundabout" both need to be negotiated in the same manner I believe.

Sorry Fatty, this was not meant to develop into a parochial discourse on roundabouts and crap UK towns and cities. In general terms however (and for whatever reason) I do agree with GCB's thoughts on towns to avoid. I was once told by my brother in law who lives in Boston MA that there was only one roundabout in the states but when we visited I found loads but had to go round them anti clockwise (or widdershins) which was really wierd.

BTW if you go to Bath or Harrogate, DO NOT drink the spa water. Not because it is infected with anything nasty but simply because it tastes foul. Don't worry though, if you get it near your face you smell it first and then there is no chance of you considering putting it in your mouth.

Places worth visiting:-

Masham, Yorkshire (pronounced masam) visit Black sheep brewery and take a tour.
Leeds, Yorkshire, visit Tetley brewery and take a tour.
Hertford, Hertfordshire, visit the McMullen's brewery here.
Devizes , Wiltshire, Wadworth's brewery (no brewery tour but lovely working shire horses)
Stoke on Trent, Staffordshire, breweries here too.

London rocks but don't bother with the Hard Rock Cafe (you won't find it anyway)

York, fab, old and not flooded any more. Great railway museum.

Do I detect a certain theme here Mr P-P?

Which reminds me, someone presumably is in charge of these tours - does that mean that their job is to organise a p**s-up in a brewery?