h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

For others it's all left

I went to buy a pedometer today (don't ask)and was unable to make the pharmacist understand the concept. A fluffy haired boy(Chinese, but with a beautiful English accent) said "she wants a step counter".
Indeed she did!

Will you be aiming for 10,000 per day, as recommended?

Yes, but since 90% will be uphill ..... (if you don't think that's possible, you have never visited Hong Kong)

*Checks passport*
I don't think that's possible.

Ouch, fallacious logic.

If you go for a walk and return to your starting point and 90% of it is uphill, then does your walk consist of taking the lift down and walking back up the stairs? Is it only in Hong Kong that lifts only go one way?

"This is an interesting circuit because it has inclines, and not just up, but down as well."

-Murray Walker, on Formula 1

Hong Kong has an escalator which is tidal (it goes down in the morning and up in teh evening) so if you return after midnight you will have to do 90% of your walking uphill (assuming the taxis have turned back into pumpkins...)

Oh!

I was working on the theory that it was a series of escarpments, walk up the nine times less steep downslopes and down the scarp slopes;
or
the hills are so steep that it takes nine tiny up steps to equal one giant down step.

"Hong Kong has an escalator which is tidal (it goes down in the morning and up in the evening"....

I've been on that escalator. it's fantastic. On a language point, what does "Hong Kong" actually mean"?

I'll open te bidding with:

Fragrant Harbour.

Hong Kong marking

Is the escalator affected by the the phase of the moon then?

Or the smell of the harbour?

Kong is one of those ancient words used universally throughout all the oriental languages (and now the world) meaning 'hairy ape'.

So a King Kong is the 'largest' of the hairy apes.
A 'Viet' Kong is a small voracious hairy ape.
And Hong Kong tells us the ape is well hung - not to be confused with Mighty Joe Kong which has a similar meaning but like 'chop suey' is actually American in origin.

~jwf~

That's dubious. The Viet Cong are/were if anything less hairy than the apes in the opposing army.

In Denmark, the word Kong means "king". So the famous ape, if he retained the name "Kong" would have the title "Kong Kong". This would have been silly, so they decided to rename him to "Kong King".

I can see this ending up with a joke about traffic in the province Hong King their horns... Please don't!