h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The SGC has a new large modern prisoner holding area. Seven seperate
holding cells each designed to hold an individual prisoner sit side by side along a wide corridor. An eighth cell faces onto the corridor at the end. This cell is larger and can comfertably house ten detainees.
A corridor also runs round the rear of all the cells. This is to provide a viewing arcade through the one way mirrors at the posterior of each and every cell.

A three man gaurd duty is permanantly placed in the cells reguardless of occupancy.

*the Major arrives at the holding cells, the officer in charge salutes him*

Fretts. I'm here to see the prisoner brought from Bastis planet.

Warden. Yes Sir this way.

*points to the cell*

Warden. He's in number four Sir.

Fretts. Thank you Luitenent.

*the warden salutes, and Major reciprocates and walks down to the fourth holding cell. It's current inmate has been placed on the bed and appears to be unconciouse. The Major looks in on him*

*Mahes is still sleeping soundly*

Hmm

*the Major considers rattling the handle of his gun along the bars, but deciding it's to cliched he merely walks back down the corridor and out the holding area*

Mahes gasps, and his back arches. His eyes open and he stares at the ceiling for a few seconds, his awareness ticking over, then he leaps to his feet and slams himself hugely against the bars, shuddering the walls and making plaster rain from the ceiling. He roars and keeps smashing himself against them even as he starts to bleed.

*the warden rushes to the cell, he takes out his tranqualiser gun and fires a dart at Mahes*

*Mahes laughs, pulls the dart from his shoulder, and throws it with stunning accuracy at the warden, who keels over. Mahes continues thumping the bars until the alarms go off*

*Guards come running in, kneel and cock rifles*

*The Major walks into the brig and up to the cell. He sets the staff weapon he's holding to stun and takes aim at Mahes*

You gonna behave?

*Mahes glowers at him*

Idiot slave. How long do you think you can keep a Goa'uld locked up here before all the System Lords take issue?

*He walks right up to the bars until his face is almost touching the Major's, and growls at him*

You are a fool to take a lion by the tail.

*winks and fires weapon*

Poor little kitty.

*hands weapon to one of the guards and goes to see the colonel*

*enters and glares at the fallen hulk on the floor*

Right...am I safe to go in there?

Luitenent: Only if myself and private Winters both go in with you and keep staff weapons trained on the prisoner. Ma'am.

If you would accompany me please. I need to take a blood sample and whilst I usually don't like guards on my patients I think it would be useful at this point.

Luitenent: Ma'am.

*enters security code for cell and picks up weapon, the private already has his raised*

*the two wardens enter the cell first and stand in opposite corners of the room, weapons trained on the prisoner. The third guard stays outside the cell.

Luitenent: Ma'am?

*enters the cell, quickly removes the top items of clothing and takes 5 tubes of blood*

Right, I want a full report on what sedatives have been used since arrival, what the prisoner's behaviour has been, whether there has been any erratism in movement, emotion or expression, and I would also like to be informed of interrogation times.
I'll expect a paper on my desk. Thank you for your assistance gentlemen, I'll be getting back to the lab to analyse this.

*briefly touches the lieutenant on the arm and smiles at the other guards before leaving the room*