h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Jeff looks nervous before looking the colonel straight in the eye*
[JEFF]: Apart from shooting your husband in the head with a shotgun? No nothing...ma'am the ambassador is not a nice man and I certainly wouldn't let any woman I know have a relationship with him. He paid me cash, that was the only good thing I found.

*Blushes and scrapes her foot across the floor*

It was a warning shot.

*Richard Stirling strides, in, with a frenzied Nuge trying to stop him*

[Stirling:"Hello, Jeff, busy, are we?"]

[Nuge: "You'll have to leave..."]

[Stirling: "Nonsense, you can leave, Corporal"]

[Nuge:"Lieutenant. You have to leave, you don't have clearance..."]

[Stirling:"Then how did I get in?"]

[Nuge: "Err... I..."]

[Stirling: "Good. You may leave."

*Nuge looks around for help, Stirling walks over to Jeff*

*The Colonel looks up, draws back her fist and punches Richard*

What the hell is-

*Stops when she sees Reef swing. A survival instinct is telling her to keep out of it.*

*Looks around*

Ah Scandrea I'd like you to meet my Ex Husband Richard Stirling who made my life a misery for 8 years, Richard this is Scandrea my friend and second in command

*Looks at Richard sprawled in the floor*

I think we'd better send for Kat don't you

*A brig guard comes through wheeling Kat. She stares at the heap of Richard on the floor*

I...see...colonel?

*Jeff starts sliding across the wall towards the doorway before changing his mind and standing behind Scandrea*

*Waves weakly.*

Not a good divorce, then...?

Nope and not a happy marriage either

Sorry but it was purely personal pleasure

I think it's only his jaw

*looks up at the ceiling,then at the Colonel*

Permission to hit the visiter properly Ma'am.

*stares at Richard*

*Kathryn swiftly moves infront of the slumped body of Richard*

I think not major if you don't mind. Unfortunately I'm supposed to be meeting a new member of my team so I would appreciate it if you don't make my job more difficult. The colonel is entitled to do whatever she wants to him but not you.
*Kathryn smiles at the major slightly disappointedly, then slides down to the floor and starts checking Richard's jaw. She lays him on his side and blood streams from his mouth and nose before being blotted up and slowed. She checks over his jaw and teeth*

I will assume colonel that you will be more interested in him talking than uh having a pretty smile. He's lost two teeth and you've bruised his jaw up pretty good but otherwise there's nothing seriously wrong with him. I can just get him awake for you if you want.

*shrugs*

*Suppresses a giggle.*

*Massages her fist, determined not to show how much punching her ex had hurt*

Ok wake him up

[Stirling *gets up slowly, rubbing his jaw and groaning* "Good to see you too, dear..."]

*Kat looks around a bit hopelessly before catching Fretts' eye and gesturing to her wheelchair*

can you get me back up please?


*Meanwhile, Jeff is cowering behind Scandrea in an attempt to go unnoticed by his employer*

What are you doing here....

*licks her lips and smirks*

...Dick

Of course.

*helps her up and looks toward Jeff*

Don't worry, we've not forgotten about you.

*Kat brushes off her front and grins at Fretts*
Thanks, I really ought to be working more on my physical therapy. Anyway, unless you're going to be doing more socking in the mouth, I shall get back to my erstwhile medics. Call if you need me...

*Kat heads back to the medical bay thanking every entity that she has never been married to either Richard or the colonel*