h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

<<<...But it was too late; Walter was already gone>>>

<<>>

< Cheers >

*Enters the brig looking stressed and pissed off. Walks up to the guard on duty*

I need to take the colonel for a medical check up so I can ensure shes in well enough helath to endure this lock up and to update her jabs.

Now, I'd hate to have to pull medical rank on you and update yours aswell since *makes a hissing noise* I mean you know those long needles? Well they really CANE afterwards. And you know how much I'd hate to get out those rubber gloves but it has to be done and theres nothing I can do about it. As you can see since shes been confined she might not have got these checks unless I'd thought about it, so it would be in your best interest to aid me in this matter. I'm not doing them here in this unclean environment so I'll be taking her to the medical bay. Ofcourse, if you wish to do your duty and escort her from the brig down to the medical bay with me and stand outside so no-one else goes in or and and she doesnt escape etc well then sure BE a darn good officer and do that, maybe you'll get yourself a promotion for best guarder of helpless locked up women. However, if you want to stand in the way of an officers health I wouldnt want to have to name you as the one concerned at her funeral....


*smiles sweetly* So, whats it to be?

<< I'm so nice! >>

[Guard] Um well er I'll need to clarify this with the guard commander and the CMO

I AM the acting CMO, and concerning medical issues I get my own way

*he smiles thinly* Now get moving and stop wasting my time *he flicks through the sheets on his clipboard and looks up again* Come on! If you're coming with us get a move on

[Guard] Ok but she needs a security escort, you'll have to wait until they get here

*folds his arms and sighs*

I thought you were going to be the security escort??!! Have you people got no brains at, can you NOT see that I'm in a hurry for goodness sake.

I mean *he turns around and shakes his head* I really didnt think I'd have to *turns back having drawing a zat and fires* do that....

*steps over the guard* sorry I didnt think hed be that stubborn if I threatened him with rubber gloves. Right, tallyho come on prisoner *lifts the key and unlocks the brig* I have a cunning plan that will go down in history as my most cunning yet.

Jack you're nuts, brave but nuts. Lead on I need to get hold of General O'Neill to get him to send this lunatic to the nearest funny farm

Roger that ma'm. We dont want to attract too much attention just yet though *drags guard into the cell and gets out a roll of thick tape binding his arms and legs and sticking some over his mouth. Dumps the guard on the bunk and covers it completely with a loose blanket*
Since we still have to cope with this guy until some action is jump started. So for now if you'd let me 'escort you' to the medical bay I have a few supplies. Dont worry I wont enjoy it at all. *backs out of the cell and locks it turning round and holding up some cuffs* and I do have the keys to them *smiles weakly and sighs* Right, ready to play doctors and nurses?

Doctors and Nurses, haven't done that since school

*Holds out her arm for the cuffs*

I trust you Jack, lets go

*cuffs the colonel and and walks her to the door. Glances out to make sure theres no-one he doesnt want to have to explain to then leads her quickly out into the corridoor and along to the medical bay muttering about a medical check up to anyone who looks questioningly at them*

<< for anyone whos lazy F1929415?thread=531331&post=32969534#p32969534 >>

*Enters*

Ok Walter what's going on