h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Jeff jerks back in panic and hisses quietly as he slips his wallet back in his suit pocket and retreats back a few steps*

*Fretts casualy points to the chair*

*Jeff sits back down in the chair uneasily and chews the side of his thumb*

*The Colonel wanders in*

Evening people, is he squealing yet

*Walks up to the bar's*

So Jeff, how about telling me about 'Your Mission'

*Whispers something to a young Lieutenant who runs off and reappears with a bag*

*walks behind him*

*Jeff sighs and slumps a bit*
[JEFF]: I've already told everything I know to that guy there. What do you want from me?

Come along Jeff, you are in a Secure Military Instalation

*Puts on a German Accent*

Do you not zink ve haf veys of making you talk

*Laughs then stops abruptly*

Jeff, you can give us what we need or we can extract it piece by piece and none of your freedom of speech blatherings will hold water, you have commited an act of treason, it means the Death Penalty or life imprisonment, I will stand by my offer of a new life but only if I get what I want and you give it willingly

*Jeff looks as if he's getting hysterical*
[JEFF]: You can't do this! I still have rights! Everyone has rights! You can't do anything to me! It's illegal! People will find out!

*He breaks down and starts giggling slightly*

Besides, what do you need to know colonel madam? Need outsiders to tell you where your security is lacking? Or are you just worried about certain information getting back to people?

*He starts laughing*

So Darling Dickie does want information about me, so that's why he hired a jaded tabloid hack, for blackmail purposes

*Sneers*

You come in here blathering about a noble cause for the Times when all you really want is dirt on me

You scumbag

*Marches to the cell door, flings it open and pulls a whip out of the back of her belt, she cracks it and it winds it's way arounf Jeff's leg and the chair leg, the Colonel pulls the whip and the chair falls backwards*

TALK!!

*Returns from the computer where she had been running Jeff's stats.*

Hold up- he's clean. He is an American citizen, and even though what he's done is illegal, with all due respect ma'am, if we persist like this we'll have another Gitmo on our hands, though ours will be much, much worse.

*Jeff abruptly stops laughing as he hits his head on the floor. Dazed he watches the major warily and scowls at the colonel with a slight smile twisting his face*

*ignoring Jeff*

Just kill him and be done with it. I don't think he's got anymore information. We could leave his body on any number of deserted planets.

STUFF GITMO!!!

This scum is conspiring with the biggest enemy this facility has has SINCE the Goa'uld, former VP Kinsey, now we can either play this all sweetness and light, worry about looking good in they eyes of the world and lose everything we've worked for, or we can use our creativity

*An idea sparks*

Yes, Bubba you're a genius, see if you can get hold of Master Brai'tac, Scan you're right, false imprisonment and 'Agressive questioning' are illegal and we can get into alsorts of trouble, so we'll hand him over to the Jaffa see if they can get what we want, what can we do if we took our guest on an offworld jaunt and he wandered off and got himself captured



As my predessor said "Where there's a will there's an or"

*Gives up the mental telepathy routine, takes the Colonel's arm, and hisses into her ear.*

With all due respect ma'am, you can frighten him all you want, but he's not going to tell us anything unless he has a friendly face to tell it to...

*Hopes she gets the idea*

Thanks Scan but I've tried, I offered him immunity and a new life but all I got was smug tabloid hack

*Waves her arm at Jeff*

You're welcome to try 'friendly face' on him, If you have no joy I've got some Sodium Pentathol from Kat, I don't want to use it unless I have to

That won't do much good either- despite its reputation as a "truth serum," it doesn't guarantee that we'll get the truth. All it does is make you talkative.

I think he's scared to the point where a little "friendly face" might work.

If it doesn't I'll have to go straight to the source and use a little info I have secreted somewhere out there

*Sighs*

I Don't want to but he's forced my hand

*LeRue turns to look at them, a sly smile edging across his face*

If the problem is he is an American citizen and therefor is tied to the rules and freedoms, take him somwhere else.

*looks at Jeff*

Gee Jeff, I'm guessing you sneaked a peek at the gate, we can put you somewhere where filling your pants will only attract more aliens.

Or the mere fact that as a former member of the Army Applications Group I am excempt from all civil and criminal prosecutions in UN contries.



*slowly unclips his holster*