h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*Jeff sits in the cell clutching his shoulders and rocking quietly whilst staring like a child at LeRue*

[JEFF]: What do you want? I don't know anything more than I told you! It's not my fault!

*Fretts walks into the Brig and up to the bars*

Hi again.

How f**king stupid are you? You think you're gonna waltz into the best kept secret on the planet and take photos?

*sneers*

My job is too kill in defense of my country and my planet. Now your a threat to both. And as far as I can see, unless you give me some good answers, your a dead man. Why don't we start at the begining. Why are you here?

*Jeff sighs and looks a bit unimpressed*

[JEFF]: I already told you. I was sent by the senator to take pictures of equipment and the like and interviews from the men. I got paid extra for information concerning the colonel. I don't know why or who was working with the senator.

*Fretts points to the jailler and the bars move back*

*he walks into the cell*

So who contacted you?

[JEFF](sullenly): Lucy Jackson, the sentor's secretary of course...and then I spoke to the senator himself once. And my phone contact was just this..guy. I don't know who but I was supposed to call him and say what I'd got and he was the one who told me what to do after the initial meeting. It was just a voice...

*walks in carrying a formidable looking syringe, courtesy of SG-5*

*Shuffles past the brig on the way to the mess. She sees what's going on inside.*

Fnargh... What's going on here?

*LeRue stands upa and walks over to the cells*

What accent does, sorry, did your contact have?

would you say slavic, or eastren european maybe?

*Jeff shakes his head vigorusly*

[Jeff] No, he had one of those voice synthesiser things, like Stephen Hawking has

Okay.

Any particular phrase or saying?

*Brain ticks over, slowly.*

What was the number? You said you were supposed to call him.

[JEFF]: Phrase? What do you mean? I don't have his number ma'am, he called me or else I had a number to call at set times and the number changes each time I'm supposed to report. They're not stupid.
*He stares at his feet and refuses to meet anyone's eye*

*Looks at him suspiciously and then rubs her forehead.*

I can't do this without my coffee... Captain, is he an American Citizen?

*Hopes that LeRue has noticed her wink.*

*Jeff jumps to his feet indignantly*
[JEFF]: I most certainly am, with all the rights and freedom that affords. Born and raised in the states you better be sure! I take offense you would think otherwise! Who do you people think you are!?

*Fretts pushes him back into the chair*

At this moment in time your rights don't mean dick.

Captain!

*Stands between Jeff and LeRue.*

You and I both know that what we're asking for here is another Gitmo! Now, if Jeff can prove he's an American citizen, just give us some sort of ID like a driver's license or passport, then he will be afforded all the rights as such.

*Winks again, and hopes LeRue can catch the "good cop/bad cop" routine she's trying to send to him through mental telepathy.*

< Scan you're poking at Major Fretts not Captain LeRue>

*Jeff scowls suspiciously and fishes in his suit for his wallet. After fishing through various old business cards, hotel slips, scraps of paper, and single dollar bills, he comes up with his state ID:

Name: Jeffery Shephard Barker
DOB: 12/24/77
Birth Place: Indianapolis, Indianna, USA
Eye Color: Blue
Height: 5'11"
Occupation: Journalist

*snatches at it and gives it to Major Scandrea*