h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*appearing from hyperspace is the supership Garendar, alongside 75 X-Wing fighters, 10 Imperial II-Class Star Destroyers, 15 Victory-Class Destroyers, 5 Super Star Destroyers and the Mon Calamari cruisers. a message is sent to the Evil Army base:*

This is a retaliation attack upon the Evil Army of H2G2. Your fleet has been dealt with above the Thingite Headquarters, and we will now retaliate for an unprecedented attack. Any attempts to resist occupation will be met with hostile activity. I warn you now, our shields rival those of the second Death Star and our weapons are too powerful for us to lose. You can surrender, or be destroyed. It is your choice but I warn you not to underestimate the power of the Garendar (and assorted fleet). I await your response.

*ARMY StarShip Dark Blade flies out of hyperspace and starts the defense of the Evil Army*

Your threats do not phase me...we have our own fleets...our own defenses...
*at this his own flag ship, The Shadow Ship Excelsior, comes out of an inter deminsional portal along with 15 Protoss Carriers...each containing 8 interceptors...that would be a total of 120 little hard to hit fighters complementing our Messon Gaurd tower array (each sporting a Gauss Ion Cannon like the IGMPD) as well as our FFST(Flying Flaming Septic Tank) fighters...and now...you are on our turf...
*cool rediculously unnessisary pose as he is teleported up to his flag ship*
*a horde of EVILMINIONS come out of the barracks and CANTANKS(Cowtastic Anihilation Nuclear-powered Tank Attacks with Nuclear Kitten Suprises) roll out of the storage warehouses

*activates the supreme powers... the Rebel Fleet forms a perimeter and the CLEARER is activated, destroying all ships in the vicinity... cutting lasers remove the Army's base from the ground and turn it into an asteroid, which is then tractor beamed into a fixed place and fired at by the superlaser*

oh and my flag ship ( A2738720 )...it too has a large array of Gauss Ion Cannons...they are really useful...

*transmissions are sent by the Garendar, which summons the FIRST DEATH STAR, but without that stupid exhaust port. the first Death Star fires the laser at the Flagship*

*transmissions from Dark Blade summon ALL the ships from the Star wars movies, books and any other form of media, and each are grossly mis-used, which should really annoy a true fan

*the base's continuity shield self activates destroying the tractor beam generaters as the base softly floats to the ground*
*the Excelsior, also sporting heavy shielding, opens a full battery assault on the Garendar*
*the IGMPD suddenly floats through the interdementional tunnel
You might want to know that I specifically build the IGMPD to counter the deathstar...I was planning an attack on the Star Wars Empire...then I found out that they were inactive...anywho...it is more than a match for the death star...it out guns it too...those 20,000 gauss Ion cannons are just for single hits...they can combine to form a much more powerful beam...just as powerful as the super cannon...and more effective on the deathstar's globular shape as it will devestate, while the superlaser will simply peirce thru the much thinner IGMPD leaving the majority of the gauss ion to retaliate...I believe the death star has now been reduced to an oversized heap of metal......

*activates once more the CLEARER and destroys them all, then he Destroyers proceeed to set about the Dark Blade*

*the oversized heap of metal suddenly twists back into shape and the CONTINUITY DRIVE is activated, meaning that the ion cannons, far from destroying what they are firing at, self-destruct into tiny fragments of dust*

*DB (dark blade) sends Proton torpedos at the Mon Calamari cruisers as well as sending HIS Super Star destroyers to destroy YOUR ones*

...*orders a massive Compound Gauss Ion Cannon Discharge aimed directly at the Death Star...*
*also order the CHOLESTEROL GUN to open fire upon the various ship of Thing...

The Dark Side cannot be matched. *the entire power of the Death Star is launched at the Cholestrol Gun, rendering it Fat-free and gone, whilst the Compound Gauss Ion Cannon Discharge is blocked by that same supreme power, the proton torpedoes are vapourised, whilst the Evil Army Super Star Destroyers become heaps of scrap* Such is the power of the Dark Side. *the superlaser fires at the once more floating Evil Army Base*

it misses

everything

*Black Leopard is suddenly sucked down into the Continuity Drain as deactivation of the continuity drive causes "unforseen" effects, such as the destruction of the Evil Army base*

*the large arrays of yamoto cannons on the side of the IGMPD fire all at once...having the effect of a massive engine impulse...sending the IGMPD out of harms way*
*the heavy shielding on the Evil Army base effectively deminishes the laser assault which makes little more than a small crater...*
*a REPLICATOR (Replicating Evil Pliable Large Intrinsic Capital-ship Allows for Tactical Offesive Rapidly) ship flies out of dry dock on the IGMPD*
*the REPLICATOR ship quickly explodes in a ball of goo and takes the form of the Death Star*
Face it...you're out gunned...
*both the Compound Gauss Ion Cannon and the Replicator's SuperLaser open fire upon the Death Star...*

*the fleet activates the CLEARER and destroys the R.E.P.L.I.C.A.T.O.R.*

*the Replicator (being created from EvilMinions) explodes only to reform again*...
reminecent of the Borg?

*BL comes out of the continuity drain inside MOWos's ship and kicks him in the head*