h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*An incredibly large laboratory, this room is littered with all the necessary trappings of a working mad scientist. If an inspector were to check, he or she would find that the Jacob's Ladder quota was well met; the table of bubbling chemicals had an acceptable showing of colors, some bright and others muddy; and the necessary homemade control panel sitting in the middle of it all. Books and research papers litter the floor, many seeming to concentrate on Digital technologies, software design, martial arts, and robotics. A large device, not unlike a traditional super-villain's over-sized death ray, is connected to the control panel, though this appears to be more of a diagnostic check than in preperation for any actual operations. Next to this machine is an incredibly large stack of DVD-RWs, seemingly ready for whatever their use is*

*Anti-Affy5 is practicing some basic martial arts stances. Unlike the last time he was seen, he is not wearing the Standard Adventuring Gear that his counterpart Afgncaap5 frequently wears. Instead, he seems to be wearing little more than a black ninja outfit without the hood. Surrounding this ninja outfit is what appears to be a robotic skeleton that seems very intricate but sturdy. He is also wearing a helmet, consisting mainly of a traditional mad-scientist's skull cap, but which seems to include some kind of connection to the robotic skeleton's control system. It also features an electronic eyc that covers Anti-Affy5's left eye, though it looks like it could probably be flipped to the side if the need ever arose. The last two items of description that seem relevant at the moment are that his sword is in its sheath as before, but his spell book is no where to be seen at the moment*

Anti-Affy5-*Slowly kicking an imagined target in mid-air* Gotta find a spaceship....*holding the foot in position* first stop, Earth....*lowering foot, blocking the hands* then I'll have time....

*NYC and Khan are first through the teleporter into the room. Before either attempt to draw attention from Anti-Affy5, NYC whispers to Khan to attempt to hack the protocols from the teleporter they just went through. He picks up software design handbook from the floor and throws it at her before calling out*

[NYC] YOU! *bKAM*

*Anti-Affy5 hears what sound remarkably like a bullet behind him, and the suit reacts. Performing a ridiculous acrobatic leap, Anti-Affy5 lands a few feet to the side, facing the intruders, the bullet safely colliding with a wall*

Anti-Affy5-Ah! NYC. And....an associate of NYC, I presume. So, what brings you out to the Clinstar Expanse? You must've really been keen on finding me. This isn't the easiest place to gain access to for lengthy periods of time. Fortunately, I still had my Library Card from back when I had this Galaxy under my thumb in my own Universe. The card systems were perfectly identical, meaning that my lifetime membership over there allowed me to show up here, no questions asked.

So, did you rethink my offer? Are you here to join my forces? Or is this some completely random fight that you're just picking because you're in the mood for it? I don't think you could've heard what my plan was yet, at any rate....I've never published anything that was totally accurate about it, although I needed to post a few things due to that LibraGram's inquisitiveness.

*Walks over to the control panel to check the readout*

Ah! Seems that you're just in time for the celebration, too! I didn't know if I could throw together a battery that would let my latest toy run when it wasn't plugged into a space station's core, but I think this thing is portable now....well, if I was three times bigger it'd be portable....as it is, though, there are larger pieces of weaponry that are much less effective.

You like guns, right? Interested in how this one works?

*stumbles through the teleporter*

My that was a rough one !

*takes in the room, it's occupants, the presence of weaponry and the attitudes of everyone at a single glance. Decides things are tense and likely to get tenser*

*teleports in*

Hmmm... i don't know how i got here, but hey...

*Teleports in, realizes that NYC's causing a scene again.*

Oh, ...

[Yar grabs NYC with the Force and slams him backwards]

[Yar] Well, primarily the Keymaker of the Matrix brought us to the Clintstar expanse, but I'm still not sure why Wonder Boy here [indicates NYC] wanted to see you. Most of us were just tagging along, including this generic student here.

[Student 1 waves]

*NYC peels himself off the wall, and subsequently brushes himself off the floor*

[NYC] Well, I came here because evil-affy's lookin' to take over the universe! I'm not going to play second fiddle to anyone: I'm a supervillian! I brought the superheroes because they tend to like stopping people from such megalomaniacal antics. Now, less with the yakky and more with the smacky!

*Anti-Affy5 pretends to look hurt*

Anti-Affy5-Oh, so sorry that we can't all just get along. You know, NYC, if you're the one behind this mission then I must admit to seeing something brand new. In all my travels, I've never before seen an entity who is an enemy to both the good and evil versions of a character. Probably not a sci-fi original, but I've not yet stumbled across that book.

Anyway, you're welcome to try and fight me, I suppose. But I should warn you: I've been busy since I came here. This robotic suit that I've built has been programmed with incredible acrobatic skills, as well as twelve different forms of martial art ranging from skills practiced by alien ninjas, to master fencing techniques, to basic wrestling and boxing maneuvers. On top of that, I don't have to bother with the tedious continual memorization of my spells anymore. This handy eye-scope lets me see all of the instructions for any spell I choose when I need them. In short, you may turn green for the second time in just as many meetings with me.

And let's not forget about my big gun here. I've never been one for Doomsday devices, but this one is most likely the most practical currently in existance. What's the point of a gigantic explosion that wipes out all forms of life? Afterwards, there isn't a Universe left for taking over. But this one should make conquering the Universe a relatively simple task.

But since you're not interested in learning how it works, I'll just be on my way. I was going to try and develop something like Dr. Harvey's Full-Newtonian Reversal spray to make my battle suit that much more impressive, but if I haven't been able to make it over the past week with this library's resources, then I doubt that I'll have much success with my research while the rest of you are here. I'll just have to go and find Dr. Harvey himself. I'm sure that he could be persuaded to tell me the secrets to his Spray. That plus The Arithmancer's a friend of mine in my own Universe, I really should check in on him in this one.

So. Can I leave, or do you insist on fighting?

*pushes in front of NYC*

Let the professionals handle this - we've had all sorts of training for these kind of situations ...... and we've got superb insurance coverage and a 24hr counselling service under a villains-who-resisted-arrest scheme.

*reaches to his belt and pulls on a pair of smack-o-matic gloves*

Now come quietly Mr Anti and no one will get hurt.

well he might get the usual "tumbled down the stairs at the station" or "walked into a door your honour" if he gives us any bother lads

*slaps his outstretched hands together in a clapping motion in front of him*

KAAAABOOOOM !!!

*like a clap of thunder the smack-o-matic gloves sends a strong concusion wave straight at Anti-Affy*

*Anti-Affy5's suit dodges to the side, taking Anti-Affy5 with it. The rear wall shudders*

Anti-Affy5-I'm sorry, but "Mr. Anti"? I'm not even your uncle, sir. And do be careful about the walls, we are in a space station. ESPNIS!

*So saying, a spell of sleep launches itself towards Red Dog*

*Corrupt mutters something about space stations and general ill-regard for walls exhibited before -- and then glares at NYC.*

[whispered hissingly at NYC] Isn't this usually your sort of thing? Where's Narg?

*Anti-Affy5 leaps over to the control board, and enters some rather lengthy pieces of information. A moment later, his giant weapon begins to glow*

Anti-Affy5-I'd love to stay and chat, but there's bound to be a flight leaving soon. I really should try to catch it, though I've made no travel arrangements as of yet.

[Student 1] ... Aww, screw this.

[He leaps into the air, and his facial features seem to morph slightly to become those of Yar (think Mystique's morph right at the beginning of her fight with Wolverine in the first X-Men movie). He attempts to kick Corrupt and NYC in turn, and lands in a stylish pose in front of Anti-Affy.]

["Student"] Hi there. My name's Ray Remark. Want me to handle these guys?

Anti-Affy5-*Looking genuinely surprised, which is an incredibly rare occurance for him* Um,...sure! Why not. Thanks, Ray. I'll be leaving just as soon as this gun teleports away, so you shouldn't have to strain yourself for too long.

*Anti-Affy5 turns from his intended fighting and begins picking up all of the wrapped DVD-RWs*

10,....20,....30,....40, 41, 42. Got 'em all! Won't even need to stop by an electronics store after I leave here!

*The gun turns a bright shade of orange for just a second before vanishing entirely*

*NYC gets smacked against the wall again from the "student"*

[NYC] Ow! Khan?!

[Khan] Almost done... Ha! This oughta even the odds!

*Khan steps away from the teleporter and flips open a walkie talkie. Within a minute the teleporter crackles to life, carrying with it a full Harrier jumpjet piloted by Kalia, with Mayhem Inc's Lieutenant Narg on the wing. Narg jumps down to the floor*

[NYC] Narg! Nice tan.

*Corrupt blinks in surprise.*

[Corrupt] /Kalia?/

*Kalia loop-da-loops around the room.*

[Kalia] Wheeeeeeee---huh? AGHHH!

*CRASHBOOMBANGcrunchchinkcrackle...*

[Kalia] *poking her head up from the debris* I'm okay!

[Corrupt] As if we had any doubt. What are you doing here?! Why aren't you guarding the shop?!? I--

*Corrupt turns and spots Narg.*

[Corrupt] --YOU!!!

*NYC's jaw drops to the floor. Narg sighs and shrugs*

[Narg] Well, err...

*Anti-Affy5 blinks at the appearance of the newly teleported reinforcements, shrugs, and enters similar coordinates as before on his control pad. He begins to glow slightly*

I'll be gone before my next posting, I'm afraid. Here's one for the road! CLEESH!

*Anti-Affy5 tosses a spell at NYC in the hopes of turning him into a small amphibian or reptile*

*NYC ducks the bolt of energy*

[NYC] Ohh, no! You're not doing THAT again! My being enemies with Affy5 is purely professional, but with you and your lizard spells, it's all personal!

*NYC runs to the smoldering wreckage of the jumpjet, and pulls off an unexploded sidewinder missile. He then runs out to the lobby*